Albatross Junkyard

Grow Up

2012-02-08T21:47:00.002-06:00

Sports blogging isn't something I ever planned on doing outside of general MMA stuff. And really this is more hate blogging. Here's the question: when did sports become laughably serious?

Yep, this is coming from a lifelong Kentucky resident who threw off his Tasmanian Devil UK shirt and cried in the floor when the Wildcats lost in overtime in the 1997 national championship. Fortunately times have changed at least a smidgen, and while I rarely miss a UK game, I've become more and more disgusted by the sports landscape. After UK blows a team out by 20 points and I hear endless bitching about how we won but played like shit I start wishing for the return of Billy Gillespie. At least then we had halfway legitimate claims to bitching. If UK doesn't win the national title the whole year is a failure and the team and coaches should be lucky they aren't executed. But that shit is small potatoes compared to this latest greatness from Rodney Harrison.

The short story is at the Patriots post-Super Bowl party, Rob Gronkowski and Matt Light decided to do a little dancing. This is apparently unacceptable because the Patriots lost, DAMN IT! Wallowing in misery is the only acceptable response and if you act in contrast, no matter your other successes, you are misguided at best and offensive at worst. Listen to this garbage:
"When we lost the Super Bowl, any of my Super Bowl losses, I was so devastated the last thing I ever wanted to do was party, let alone dance or take off your shirt," he added. "It's just immaturity. It's not right. He made a mistake and I'm sure he feels absolutely stupid about it at this point. There's a time and place for everything."

Apparently a jovial attitude after a hell of season and a close game doesn't cut it. I feel weird talking about this, because I do think sometimes I take sports too seriously in general. I think that a majority of the disdain shown towards sports fans is sad, insecure elitism. That said, come the fuck on Mr. Harrison. Professional sports players work hard and make sacrifices in return for making damn good money and playing a game for a living. Rob Gronkowski just had one of the greatest seasons a tight end has had in NFL history. I'd say that guy's got a few reasons after the season is over to exhale and bust a move for a bit if he feels like it.

Harrison again:

"The leadership has to step up and someone has to pull [Gronkowski] to the side and say, 'Look young man, this is inappropriate, this is not the time nor the place. You need to grow up,'" Harrison said. "And that's what it comes down to. I like this kid. I think he's a good kid, works hard, is unselfish. But he made a mistake ...

Grow up? I know that competition at the highest level is going to be taken very seriously. Maybe if Gronkowski had been remixing the Super Bowl Shuffle during a close game on the sideline somebody somewhere might have a point (then again I remember the Derek Anderson debacle from a while back, so yeah, nevermind). Unfortunately for Harrison making any sense is the fact that the game and the season were over! Is there some mandatory grief period where the fun machine is temporarily deactivated? This isn't the followup to a funeral. Grow up? No thanks if this is what's in store, somebody bust out that giraffe and that dumbass song we all sung until they quit running the ads.

Harrison to play us out: "There's a certain way of representing yourself and your family and that's not the right way."

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH LIGHT AND GRONKOWSKI'S FAMILIES? Oh no, pro football has absorbed the UFC/boxing standby of invoking family every second so we can over saturate your brain to the point where when you hear family, the only one you wish you were a part of is the Mansons. I think at this point we've taken the "Team as Family" concept way too far! "This guy is dancing! I KNOW SOME KIDDOS THAT AREN'T COMING TO THE NEXT SLEEPOVER! HIS WIFE WAS ALWAYS GANGBANG FODDER!"

Just quit, please.

Fun Formalism

2011-10-16T11:44:00.008-05:00

(FYI, it's not that formalism is intrinsically not fun, it's just that it's formalism)

So Brandon Graham posted a link to the torrent of his recently-concluded comic series King City from Image. It's really good and has been written about by plenty of people better than me. There are plenty of memorable moments, but the one that stuck with me the most was from a backup story in the second issue. Check out these first two panels.

They knocked me on my ass. Formalism is a slippery slope. I remember the sequences from Asterios Polyp where Mazzucchelli was screaming COMICS on the page so loud that sometimes I just wanted to tune him out, despite the mastery on display. Graham substitutes screaming with subdued effortlessness. While Mazzucchelli wanted to make sure you knew about all the tricks the medium was capable of, Graham cares only about using those tricks to do cool shit. When I read this sequence, it took me straight out of the flow of the story and the panels, just like when I read the Asterios Poly sequences, except the above gave me a huge grin, while Asterios Polyp left me staring at the page. Both are showing off in a sense, but Graham comes off like a guy you could talk to about ridiculous comics stuff all day, while Mazzucchelli would be too busy presenting a research paper at an academic conference.

Is there anyone out there making comics having more fun than Brandon Graham? If you're up for a fool's chase, start looking.

Mean Streets: Small Time is Fun Time

2011-08-02T21:01:00.007-05:00

I haven't seen all of Martin Scorcese's movies, which is my fault. But of the ones I have seen, this one stands out for, surprisingly, it's relentless humor that stems from its hyperbolic characters endlessly crashing into the invisible walls around them. A lot of the usual is present: New York, Catholicism, Italian-Americans, and the life of crime on the street. It's the last one that's most important. At the start of the movie, Harvey Keitel narrates, "You don't make up for your sins in the church. You do it in the streets."

Speaking of narration, Keitel doesn't quite get into unreliable narrator territory. Delusional narrator might be better, which I guess is unreliable in its own way, but Keitel as Charlie isn't what I think when I use the term. He's not hiding anything from the viewer, just himself. There's no buried secret or big plot twist. He's just often full of shit when he talks to you. Okay, yeah, he's unreliable, I give up. Scorcese (and his co-writer Mardik Martin) is probably just as unreliable, naming the film "Mean Streets" when the group of guys that walk those streets are insulated and removed from what you expect when you see the words Mean Streets combined with Scorcese (oddly enough that might be a reaction that stems from everything that Scorcese did after this, ie every other movie he's made). Let me draw my own parallel (as if everything before is Scorcese's crystal clear vision that I'm reading off Wikipedia). It's purgatory, one of Scorcese's often-called upon themes, now affecting the living.

All the characters are stuck in templates that associate with the streets. We have a lower Mob member (Keitel as Charlie), loan shark (Richard Romanus as Michael), and a bar owner (David Proval as Tony) on one side overlapped with a colossal screw up/debtor who slips in and out with all of them (Robert De Niro as Johnny Boy). We get to see the most of Keitel and how he relates and interacts with everyone. It's there from the start, where he talks about how meaningless the church is and is then immediately there alone. It might be meaningless, but he can't move on by cutting himself off or just accepting it. Charlie can't make a stand on his relationship with his girlfriend because it goes against the wishes of his uncle who holds the key to his upward mobility in the mob, despite having real feelings. Most notoriously he can't jettison Johnny Boy, who owes money all over town and is the personification of dead weight walking. Too bad that dead weight is hilariously entertaining and an outlet for him. But it's not just Charlie. The main group of four characters seem like teenagers playing gangster, dipping their toes in but making sure to get the hell out before anything serious happens. They have their petty conflicts and arguments, but then they're out messing around, off being in and around oddball trouble and skirting away from the cops.

But no matter how careful you are you can get sucked in or trapped. The characters seemingly are in a holding pattern, but little things cause them to break it. Since Charlie wants to appear serious and stay in the good graces of his uncle, he won't be seen not only with his girlfriend with epilepsy, who is disapproved of, but with Michael in front of his uncle, who's waiting for payment from Johnny Boy on debts. They're all pawns, but Charlie doesn't want to show his uncle his other buddies, because then he might realize he's just like them. For his part, Michael is willing to let the debts grow and grow and take Charlie's promises that Johnny Boy will get back on track. Charlie is unwilling to compromise on Johnny Boy to an asinine degree. Yet amidst all this is more running in place, goofballs who want to declare their membership entering through the side door. Charlie approaches one of the girls he fancies that dances at Tony's about being the hostess at the restaurant he's about to acquire (through no action of his own, by the way) and sets up a meeting with her at a place afterwards which he promptly jettisons while in the cab as he drives by. The guy can't even have a real affair! Tony has a tiger in a cage in the back room of his place. Not as a power symbol or anything, but so he can get in the cage and cuddle with the motherfucker! Michael accosts Charlie's girlfriend about Johnny Boy's whereabouts, knocking the groceries out of his hand before she runs him off. Oh, did I mention he picks up the groceries for her and puts them back in the bag?! These guys can't even shake down a woman for God's sake! All of this belies a point: Mean Streets is hilarious.

Some of it is clearly intentional, some maybe not. But I certainly found myself cracking up out loud much more than I would have expected, and the majority of it was non-cynical (a first?). Two scenes stand out. In the first, the four go to a bookie who hasn't paid the return on a bet he owes for Tony I believe (it might be an unnamed guy, I watched this four days ago and should've done this sooner, but I'm lazy/I suck). Everything starts out okay in a underground pool hall until Johnny Boy sets off a brawl. I'm almost lukewarm to call it that because the entire scene is ridiculously awkward, and not in a realistic manner. It's more like the fights I saw in high school, where people jumped around, avoided contact if at all possible, and blustered more than injured (except for that one time a guy I went to high school with repeatedly smashed a guy's head into a dumpster...he's a later Scorcese guy I guess). It also reminded me of a theater production, except it was choreographed by a drunk. And what happens? Everybody makes up when the cops show up and it's all good. The other is when something occurs (shaky ground, I think a shooting, which I'm going to get to) and everybody flees the scene, with two gay patrons from the bar forcing themselves into the car with the four others. While the former was stilted, this is plain comedy, with everyone being either nervous, appalled, drunk, horny, or a combination. I cracked up through this whole thing, until the two non-treehouse members get booted unceremoniously.

So we have characters stuck in the junior version of a hostile environment. They might be okay with it, but at some point someone is going to barely cross out of the safe zone. Except in a case where tension is building by inches, it explodes. Michael finally comes after Johnny Boy and then the blood finally flows, in a precursor to a scene involving two of the same actors three years later in Taxi Driver. But even when the blood flows and someone has actually done something, the ambulance is there to play us out. Because it's too late for all of them. The barriers are there, inescapable, and the streets are keen to insure the status quo. Oh, and that shooting? Everyone is in the bar doing nothing and David Carradine is drunk as shit laying on the bar. A random kid comes in and sits. Carradine rolls off and lurches into the bathroom, where he is promptly shot in the back by the kid. However, Carradine doesn't care. He assaults his attacker, following him out in the street until he tackles him with his dying breath after the kid empties all six shells from the revolver. Here we have a man tanked to the gills, who takes six bullets while he gives his last breaths trying to enact equal punishment on his attacker. He's committed, unwavering, and pushing through the worst of what the streets have to offer. He's everything that everyone else in Mean Street's isn't, what they do and don't want to be.

Call of Duty: Black Ops/Template 1 (Version 4.0)

2011-07-19T01:22:00.004-05:00

1. Hundreds of guys vs 4 (we fixed the infinite respawn problem, so it's all cool now)

2. Follow until the leader stops moving for some reason and then you're supposed to move up and take charge all of a sudden.

3. Stealthily kill between 3 and 6 enemies before you are discovered/outnumbered. Standard fighting against regular guys commences.

4. Explosion/non-interactive event leads to blurry fall, disorientation, regain composure/awareness just in time to: get saved by ally, save ally with handgun, run to escaping vehicle, or get beat up by non-ally.

5. Shoot regular guys until: mounted machine gun, enemy vehicle, or heavy fire from structure occurs. Proceed to pick up explosive ordnance conveniently lying on the ground and blow it up. Resume shooting regular guys.

6. Enter vehicle. Blow up other vehicles and regular guys until vehicle is destroyed.

7. See Step 4.

8. Listen to stupidly stereotypical bad guys (probability: 45% Russian, 45% German, 10% Asian) speak perfect English in stupidly stereotypical accents. Note: If bad guy is Asian, perfect English requirement is lifted. Stupidly stereotypical accent still applies.

9. Enter the Matrix temporarily and shoot guys. Quickly leave the Matrix.

10. Apply list to next mission.

They Live: Or How Roddy Piper Gave Up the American Dream by Beating Up Keith David

2011-07-15T02:09:00.005-05:00

Caveat: None of this makes sense, but a few quick words on the alley fight scene from They Live.

"I still believe in the American dream. Everybody goes through tough times." Nada (Piper) says something to this effect early on to Frank (David) while they stare at the city from the slums. Let's get half-assed political real quick. They Live came out in 1988, in the very last twilight of Ronald Reagan's "Morning in America". Collectivism was getting the tar beaten out of it. Nada discovers a crazy conspiracy and has to let other people know, Frank being the one he desires first because he has something of a relationship with him. But how does someone who in an individualist, and not even a strictly hardline one at that, go about getting someone to do something? They can tell them but they won't do it for them. Similar to how the the government was getting deregulated and the safety net was getting the axe (even though the state was still getting bigger). Get your ass in gear but don't expect much help if you can't.

Therefore, "Put on the glasses." Nada says it over and over when he has the upper hand in the fight scene. There are countless times when he could just force them over his eyes and the problem is solved but that isn't how he wants it to go down. He wants Frank to do it for himself. Back and forth they go. And finally, Nada just puts the glasses on him. He's finally given up on what he believed. It seems easy to think that happened earlier when the police destroyed the slums where he resided and enacted beatdowns on the inhabitants. But no, there's still room to maneuver. After all, the police are a protective side of the government. They might be a bit draconian, but they're on our side and the government's side. At the same time they're a functionary of a society that is corrupted and part of the state that apparently hasn't been hit by the deregulation bug. But Frank? He's just one man, working hard to support a family and minding his own business. He's the mold of the single go-getter. Sure, he complains about his situation, he's skeptical, but he's the one getting shit done. Nada is similar, he just has the rug pulled out from under him so harshly and quickly that he doesn't know how to react. He's also much more curious than skeptical, which is what gets him into trouble to start with. They're close enough to where it makes sense for them to paradoxically team up, so Nada knows he has to get to Frank eventually. Society, government, consumerism...sure, they're all manufactured lies. But a man like Frank? Nada knows he's as real as it gets, so he can only push him so far. The individual is still alive. Until Frank, in the ultimate act of individualism, refuses to cave. He fights and fights but he won't put on the glasses. So eventually Nada puts the glasses on him. Then the dream is dead.

L.A. Noire - An Experience in Gaming

2011-06-28T00:29:00.006-05:00

L.A. Noire is a game built for me. It takes a broad classical adventure gametype and drops it into late 1940s Los Angeles. Your role is a detective, working your way through various sections of the LAPD, catching cases in the moral shithole you'd expect. The game is James Ellroy-lite, though it mainly fails to transcend the cliches he blasts open so spectacularly. Still, a "crime" game? Yeah, I can get behind that no matter what. Collecting evidence, interrogating suspects, breaking cases? Distill it however you want and I'll lap it up. My threshold for enjoyment is perilously low. But really, L.A. Noire has been billed as much more than that, both by its creators and players. A lot of talk has centered on it being the first video game to transcend that pesky "game" label. Instead, it holds the category of "experience".

A caveat up front: I'm not here to be the dreaded defender of the games industry from all those proles and their Modern Warfare fix that destroys my chances of getting the latest JRPG translated. However, I do think the attempted re-branding of L.A. Noire is related in a way to how mediums are often interpreted. You see it a lot in comics, where people talk about sequential art as just a storyboard for a potential movie, everything already laid out, both interchangeable, completely missing the unique qualities that separate them. Sadly it's not just a question of the form, as the countless godawful movie pitches as comics, ready-made to lurch onto the screen attest. I rarely see anyone talk about the relationships movies have to comics on a formal level. This has started popping up in games discourse too. When surefire successes like Halo and Call of Duty drop, the developers are aiming for the blockbuster action setpieces you're used to seeing every summer at the megaplex. They're quick to trot out the dreaded (by me at least, YMMV) word: "cinematic". As in, they want the games to feel like movies. Once again, I'm not going to overextend in the other direction and say all this pap is diluting the industry and pretty soon you'll be watching a game more than you'll be playing it. But just look at how non-interactive cutscenes have become a standardized focal point of games. Sure, they've always been there, but now they're at the forefront of hype and advertising. Cinema's influence is more and more apparent.

That aside is meant to show that labels for media are often changed to denote an uptick in quality, relevance, or importance. Look at "graphic novel". No more of that comics crap, this shit is real. It's like a novel, but with graphics! Let's not focus on how inadequate that term is, being tied to the novel format, but on how it took something and tried to take the same contents of what it always had been and then drag it out of the doldrums and into the light. The same thing is happening with L.A. Noire. This is no game, it's an experience! Now I get to try and destroy that connotation.

After all, what is an experience? You experience anything. A song, a comic, a novel, a movie, a TV episode, a painting. But wait, games are all about inserting actions you make into that experience, thereby personalizing it. Well maybe. I've got two big problems with that. The first is that anyone's experience with anything is different. Sure, commonalities, themes, reactions, they certainly spread across all manner of people, but deep down everyone feels differently about the same thing. How you're feeling at the time, a personal situation that mirrors what you see, someone you just saw, these are just a few of the countless things that affect how you experience anything. So saying L.A. Noire is an experience is really as one-dimensional and unhelpful as you can get. Everything is personal to some degree.

Second, and this is the bigger one, games are at their heart no more personal than any other medium. A stock line might be, "Well, you're controlling what's happening, so you're invested in the action way more." And to an extent that's true. But anything can get you to care about what happens or want to see what happens next if it's compelling. And games operate in the relatively confined, linear world that other things do. Within reason, a book only keeps going as you keep turning the pages, music has to keep playing to finish, and games only play out if you do what is prescribed to you. Princess is in another castle? Keep jumping on stuff and shooting fireballs. Zelda's been captured? Use that hookshot and work through those temples. Some guy that might be a clone of you is about to melodramatically threaten the entire world with a weapon of mass destruction? Hide in boxes and use the codec. If you don't, you're getting nowhere. The rules change specifically from game to game, but the one that differentiates games from other mediums is everything the creators wanted you to see is there and you must work through it in the order that they prescribe. You can open a book and read a random chapter. You can look at any page in a comic separately. You can look at a painting an artist did at any point in their career. Now that may not be the most compelling or fulfilling way to accomplish something, but the option is there. How do you get to the final boss? You beat all the other bosses, overcome all the other challenges, acquire the upgrades. Your choice is severely restrained, if there is one at all. Sandbox games and other types certainly give you more options and things to do, but there is always a larger plot that is meant to be moved along at some point. You might also rebuke this by mentioning that you can play a single level or section of a game just like you can read a single chapter or single page, but the key difference is access. Unless that level or section is the first one, it's almost always going to be blocked until you've gotten there.

To be sure, games have mixed it up. Choices in video games have become all the rage lately, but they've been around forever. Do you wait for the train or keep going in Final Fight 3? Do you save Kid or leave her in Chrono Cross? Do you go light side or dark side in Knights of the Old Republic? The game plays out differently and it makes you feel like you have some control, like you're shaping things. But of course you're not. You make a choice, and one formulated avenue is brushed aside for another. Then you replay the game and go the other way so you can see it or to just get the achievements/trophies. Character customization, depending on the game, is one place where games can allow for strong user involvement and individualization, even though it often can paradoxically become almost non-existent in the games where it has the largest potential, like in World of Warcraft or other MMOs.

So now that my opinions are out there, what about L.A. Noire itself? It is really an experience, a new take that transforms games and elevates the form to new heights? No, not at all. In fact, by trying to paint itself as something other than a game but coming up short, L.A. Noire blatantly (and I would guess unintentionally in some ways) screams that not only is it not an experience, but that it is a G-A-M-E through and through. A few thoughts on why that is.

Choice is certainly a major factor in the game. In a certain case, you might have to find close to 20 clues at various crime scenes and interview people, asking close to 20 questions. If you miss a clue you have less information to work with which cuts back on the options you have during an interview. Whenever there are clues to find there will be a certain backing music, and once you've found all the clues for a certain area, a sort of "victory chime" will play and the music will go away. Finding the clues is usually only a matter of walking up to the few noticeable objects in an area and then pressing the corresponding button when the controller vibrates to let you know this is something you can examine. It's a very simple process. Sure, you can turn off the music, but then how do you know if you've gotten all the clues? That might not be a huge deal, especially if this was an "experience" but the game makes sure to point out how you did after the mission is over, when you get what is basically a score report, showing your stats for the case. It's tied to the linear nature of games. By placing a statistic on how you play the game, the developers are trying to railroad you into playing the game how they have designed it and grading you on it. Why not remove that from the equation? Because that's how games are made and how people consume them. If Team Bondi really wanted to push, that would have been a great way to start. You work the case and it ends and you move on to the next one. No report that shows you how your "experience" was wrong.

The interrogations have a similar problem. They likewise show up as a statistic on your case report, but there's little subjectivity present when they actually take place. Whenever you ask someone a question, you can respond by believing they're telling the truth, believing they're lying, for which you have to have a piece of evidence to back it up, or doubting them, which basically is when you think they're lying but you don't have evidence to back it up. It's a pretty good system that usually works well. Sometimes it's hard to decide on which piece of evidence to use if you believe the person is lying, but that's about it. Whenever you select a response you get a "good chime" if the answer is correct and a "bad" one if it is wrong. More blatant examples of the game telling you there is a specific way to play each case and even though it continues and changes in ways, you still got it wrong. Why not strip all that away and just let the case play out within an overriding framework that hides as much from the player so the gameplay gets further into opacity (I'm trying here, I swear, it may not look like it) and unpredictability.

One of the reasons this is all a problem is because L.A. Noire has an overarching story that goes on in the background at first and slowly moves into the main part of the game. Sure enough, you can't control any part of this narrative. So even when your character does stupid things that are barely explained (HE'S FLAWED, SEE BRAH? SHIT IS DAYEEP!) you get to watch and marvel at the dismal goofiness happening. So no matter how you do in a case, that story has to continue, which, in a surprise to no one, involves you climbing the ranks of the department and great scenes where you're lauded as the crime solver of crime solvers even if you punted the entire previous case. Even worse is when you see or hear details in a case that you want to act on but have no ability to. Obviously we're not near a point of interactive games, but this is really frustrating, especially if you're supposedly in an experience. It comes across as the developers cutely playing with you, knowing that if you do notice, you don't have the capability to act.

A final point of frustration: the telephone. Throughout the game there are various spots where you can use a telephone to contact dispatch or records and information. You sometimes will also get connected to other members of the department or be given messages or updates. The thing is, you can only use the telephone when the game allows you to. It feels badly artificial, especially when it blatantly shows up on your minimap whenever you're "supposed" to use it, and always very convenient to your current location. There are also a few spots in the game where it is far from obvious that you should use the telephone, but since the icon pops up, you know you'd better dial away (it's not like you always know who you're calling, in another annoying quirk) because you risk losing out on information if you don't. At times this can make you feel like the game is on auto-pilot, playing itself.

Throughout this it might seem like I'm being unfair to L.A. Noire, especially since overall I like the game. I just really hate the experience wording, it being one in long trend of trying to replace unique forms with watered down versions of other, supposedly better ones. Just for fun, and because this really went off the rails near the end, here's my dream take on how L.A. Noire should have played out.

No overarching story. Instead, you have various cases set around a locale (in this case Los Angeles post-WWII). You could switch up the playable characters and the supporting cast to keep it interesting, with enough differences so that they aren't the same person with a different graphics model. There's not success or failure indicators in the quest. The evidence and interrogation methods can stay. Instead of focusing on a greater story, spend more time putting in multiple angles and directions that each case can branch to.

Movie Junkyard: 44 Inch Chest

2011-04-12T01:45:00.004-05:00

Here's an interesting one. Is 44 Inch Chest a good movie? Who cares, when you've got these people on the screen just saying shit. Here's the whole movie. Ray Winstone plays Colin, a car salesman whose wife tells him she's found someone else when he comes in from the lot one day. He hooks up with the greatest crew of friends in the UK, who kidnap his wife's new guy. They then take him to a low-key spot and mentally and physically torture him. That's all in about the first ten minutes. The rest of the film takes place in that same building or in Colin's mind, as the group collectively decides what to do with "Loverboy" as they affectionately call him, locked in a cupboard for a good portion of the film in the same room as everyone else.

Just from looking at it, 44 Inch Chest screams "gangster/crime" flick. I don't know enough about anything resembling a film scene to know if Winstone has become typecast as someone who plays hardasses, but from this, Sexy Beast, The Proposition, and The Departed, it's arguable he's earned it. The supporting class is a lineup of character actors that should make the House of Windsor proud (and at least one of them indirectly has). Ian McShane, John Hurt, Tom Wilkinson, and Stephen Dillane. You couldn't get a better group of wise-ass gangster types on the screen if you tried and they're all incredible, as is Winstone. But this isn't your typical "gangster/crime" film, and it's quite a bit different from the ilk popularized by Guy Ritchie in the late 20th century, which have in their own way defined the expectations of what you expect out of a British crime film. It's worth noting that Sexy Beast, which also starred Winstone and was written by the same writers as this movie (Louis Mellis and David Scinto) takes a similar broad theme, one that centers on the drop-off years of professional criminal enterprise. It uses the familiar plot mechanism of a retired heist runner getting drug back into the old world through a heist that he can't avoid. 44 Inch Chest comes devoid of even that convention. There's no world to get drug back into because it doesn't exist anymore. What I see is a group of gangsters who are past any reasonable connection with the criminal world, underworld, or whatever you want to call it, yet it's still what defines them. They're all OLD and tethered to their own unknowing, complicated place where they only let allowable others in (Tom Wilkinson's mother he watches over, Ian McShane's hedonistic victims and accomplices). Colin's wife's adultery gives them an opportunity to recreate who they were. Sexy Beast is about whether you can go back and survive, but 44 Inch Chest is something much different and possibly worse. What happens when you've survived and don't have the capacity to go anywhere because your time has passed?

In that way, the film is what I'm going to inadequately call, not post-modern, but "post-gangster". A group of friends gets together to torment a guy who fucked one of their wives. Oh, and the husband? He's a car salesman who brings home chocolates and flowers for his wife, for God's sake. Sure, he might be unloading the cars illegally, using the business as a drug front, or just totally lying about it. It doesn't matter, there's no edge or tough guy cred there. And the guys are loving it! Sure, they sympathize with Colin, but what else are they doing? Absolutely nothing. We get a great scene where Ian McShane's character of Meredith recounts how he made a big score of cash, by basically getting lucky and playing some idiot who fails miserably at roulette and then later talks about buying shoes. This is what these guys have been reduced to. The kidnapping presents a warped passage back into the old ways, something halfway exciting that reminds of how awesome they used to be. Berating some tied up schmuck is as glorious as they come these days. What does everyone do but Colin? They stand around and talk about the old crazy characters and ridiculous stories. It's their personal version of world building within the film, the world that simultaneously was and is their own, even if others can't see it. And after pledging to give Colin some time alone, they eventually just come back in, because they can't wait to see what happens next and don't want to miss the action.

Just look at what the movie shows us. Basically nothing. The characters only exist outside their own creation when they drag Loverboy out of his place of work. And look at how they do it. They pull up in broad daylight and kidnap him at an indoor/outdoor corner cafe in front of everyone. They don't care, they're stuck in the old ways. Then it's straight to an empty neighborhood. When Colin walks around outside he doesn't see anyone, because all these guys are isolated from the new world. No one else is inside the house they're in. We get a few flashbacks through Colin's mind and that's all the deviation. The shots at the end of various parts of the rundown building? Seems like a reflection of the characters themselves. They're cracked and decaying but they still exist, even if no one is around them.

SPOILER

And that's why Colin lets Loverboy go. After a tremendous monologue on the nature and difficulties of a genuine loving relationship, where the camera is on Winstone's face, close-up, for almost the entire several minutes, everyone comes back in the room and Colin gives his decision. Why? Maybe because through the flashbacks, where Colin violently beats his wife to get her to tell him who Loverboy is, he then realizes that he's already tried to come back to the old world and he just can't cut it anymore. Any semblance of real transition stopped when he took it out on her. His friends encourage him to be a man, but what has that got him? She's gone and it doesn't matter what happens to Loverboy. Colin is back in the old world now, and Loverboy is what he thinks he used to be. Why kill him when he's still got his good days left and he's of the times? Or maybe Colin realizes that, as it seems he's the only one of the group to actually have come up with some semblance of life after gangster, that he should be happy with the years he had. Or does Colin realize he's back in the world, but also figures out that it's enclosed and their little sham is up? He's not a gangster anymore. He and his friends might act like they are for a few hours, but that doesn't change anything. They're all just moping along without any concrete endpoint. In the old days they would've just killed him. But Colin is smart enough to realize they're not there anymore and the uncertainty is just enough to make him think, "what's the point?"

All this is probably crap. I am far from the people I usually read. Watch 44 Inch Chest and don't think about any of this. Just listen to the dialogue and the killer actors that spout it.

Comics Junkyard: Moebius

2011-03-28T23:10:00.015-05:00

This is going to be the first of hopefully many more posts that focus, in some way or another, on comics. I've recently reoriented my priorities and decided I want to focus more on comics in my free time. I'm not planning on doing many, if any, reviews because I don't think I can effectively write them nor do they really serve a purpose in a vacuum. Instead I'm going to look at sequences, panels, layouts, and the art in general. I have to preface this by saying I have no background or really any capacity at all to discuss art on the comics page. So what I'm going to talk about are the things that strike me about whatever I'm discussing. I'm hoping I can go beyond "this looks cool", but I'm also not going to write too in-depth on anything. So with all that, why not start with an absolute legend of comics, just so I can trap myself right at the beginning.

Moebius is a beast, plain and simple. He's influenced so many people it's ridiculous. I remember ten or eleven years ago when I was first getting into comics as a young teenager, I saw Ladrönn's promotional images for Hip Flask and was blown away. At the time I hadn't seen what I'll inadequately call the "Euro Sci-Fi" style, even though now I can tell that Ladrönn had clearly seen Moebius (which doesn't detract from him at all, and he might show up in one of these some day). I don't know if Moebius was the one to really create the style, but at this point it's immaterial; it's his style.

Sadly, while Moebius' influence might spread the world over, his work is hard to come by in English. Various companies have started publishing ventures to get his work into the US as far back as the 1970s (I wonder if you can find this stuff in the UK), but the majority of it commands high prices, though some of it is cheaper depending on the book. Thankfully Humanoids, the publisher that is synonymous with most of his work in France, is now directly publishing stories in America for what is the first time since their short partnership with DC in the early 2000s and two Moebius books have already been released.

Fortunately, I have the internet and silent stories to placate me for now. Major props go to Grantbridge Street & other misadventures, where you can find not only Moebius but all kinds of other awesome comic gems. The images that I use in this post came from there. So for the inaugural edition I'm going to look at an Arzak story that appeared first in english in Heavy Metal #3. From what I've found, there are four short Arzak stories that are explained by some as delving into the dreams or subconscious. If you're thinking, "oh great, has there ever been a more boring cop-out or pretentious story mechanism than dreams?", you're not alone. Don't worry though, because if these are Moebius' dreams, we should all want to get inside his head.

Page 1. Not a lot to say here, but I think overall the colors are excellent. The warm earthy yellows and light browns come across as perfectly natural.

Page 2. What really strikes me here is the back of the scarf in the second panel. The way it rests as the car stops instantly caught my eye because of how well pronounced it is. Moebius might be known for the fantastic, but he can get down with the technical just as well.

Page 3. More on color. The figure pops so well when he enters in panel 1 when removed from the heavy light outside. I also like how the interior of the hallway somewhat mimics his green and purple scheme. It's almost like he's emanating outwards (is he?). And in panel 2, look at the juxtaposition of the figure on the foreground on the left and the pipes or hoses running out of the structure in the background. Everything else is diminished and the reader sees a sense of awe through the figure, even if the figure doesn't necessarily show any.

Page 4. The figure in panel 1 is a level of detail that is exemplary. Detail is something that I think is unique to an artist. The best artists can control it and make it work no matter if their work is "detailed" (Geoff Darrow, Frank Quitely) or not (Eddie Campbell comes to mind, though I could be completely off base there, though it's immaterial, because he's a master). With the inferior artists it overcomes any sense of style and is simply detail (David Finch and Alex Ross are two examples that while different, are still quite similar). Panel 2 is the greatest naked flying kick ever. I also like how the besides the two moving figures, the background doesn't change between panels 2 and 3, but the perspective moves slightly upwards two dimensionally, possibly to represent the arc of our goggled friend after he's been kicked. Also, the spherical object in mid-air in panels 2 and 3? I was fixated on that when I first looked at this page. At first I thought the person (thing?) sitting down was tossing it, but now I'm not sure. It really doesn't matter, because this is Moebius throwing in these small incidental details that help to fill out something as outwardly simple as the whole story. It sounds stupid to call it making the story more realistic or to claim world building, so I won't. It's just Moebius.

Page 5. Look at the angle Moebius shows when dude hits the ground in the first panel. I get the (probably) unjustified feeling that if this were drawn stateside, the figure would just fall over dramatically on his face. But how he slides and hangs on to the case? Is the case so heavy its dragging him, or is he just hanging onto it above all else? All I know is I really like that angle.

Page 6. Oh look the horde has finally awoken and...nothing. He just calmly enters and Moebius pulls the rug.

Page 7. Well here's Arzak. Once again, I dig the little details. The footprints in the ground in panel 2 where Arzak has been just pacing in the same circle, with the dust cloud added for good measure. And that face in panel 3. That's a gritty veteran's face if I ever saw one. "Well there ain't any new shit for me anymore, ain't no problem I can't fix, and nothing a little squintin' can't account for." Moebius also gets to draw a cool sci-fi apparatus that requires two hands, so even Viv Savage can use it.

Page 8. That middle panel is pure satisfaction that doesn't require some elaborate reaction. "It's done like I knew it would be, problems solved until the next one shows up." The briefcase is put back on the rear of the car and we're done. The side of the car we only see in this panel contains the best type of restrained madness.

GP Nashville

2010-11-27T23:25:00.004-06:00

What's better than mediocrity at the local level? Mediocrity at the higher level, of course. So I busted my ass at school and skipped work for a week to go down to Nashville for the Grand Prix. We arrived on Friday night to the sprawling location that is the Gaylord Hotel and Convention Center. Rob and I drove around three times trying to find a parking spot before we gave up and parked maybe half a mile away at a McDonald's and walked. In the process of getting to the site, we see like 20 pros and Rob doesn't recognize a single one, because he is concerned with being good at the game rather than reading about people who are good. We get sidetracked in the labyrinth inside the convention center, which was insane. They had the Christmas decorations up, which made any Christmas decorations I've ever seen look like shit. There was an entire area that was an interior island, and a nightclub within the convention center, along with a ton of restaurants and a hotel layout that I would never have been able to decipher. We find the tournament room and look around. I didn't do anything, but most everyone else did. Rob got in a draft, while some other people we met up with, Rick, Sam, and Jim, all played Standard in the Super FNM. Rob loses in round 1 of the draft and after that we head back to the hotel to get some sleep.

I wake up early because I was worried we would all oversleep and miss the main event or something. This does allow me to destroy the substantial free breakfast afforded at Holiday Inn Express. We all group up and drive back to the convention center, thankfully finding where the free parking is and not having to walk as far. After about an hour, the seatings go up for deck registration and we're off. I don't remember anything about the pool I opened, as I was nervous about misregistering or running out of time that I just burned through it. It comes time to swap and the person across from me, a kid no older than 10, is not even close to being finished, so a judge has to come over and finish the sheet. I get the deck about 3 minutes into the 5 minute verification process and get to sort through a non-alphabetized mess. The sheet looked like a crappy term paper when the judge had got done modifying it to fill in all the mistakes. He even had to create a new column there had been so many errors. By this time everyone has passed again, and deckbuilding is starting. The judges rule that we just keep each others pools and I get to start construction late, but not enough to where it really affected anything.

Here is what I opened:

Artifacts

1x Clone Shell
1x Strider Harness,
1x Memnite
1x Infiltration Lens
1x Golem's Heart
2x Echo Circlet
2x Copper Myr
1x Flight Spellbomb
1x Sylvok Lifestaff
2x Accorder's Shield
2x Bladed Pinions
2x Soliton
1x Heavy Arbalest
1x Livewire Lash
2x Origin Spellbomb
1x Barbed Battlegear
1x Snapsail Glider
1x Perilous Myr
1x Glint Hawk Idol
1x Palladium Myr
2x Contagion Clasp
1x Silver Myr
1x Tumble Magnet
1x Myr Propagator
2x Vulshok Replica

Blue

1x Halt Order
1x Plated Seastrider
1x Scrapdiver Serpent
1x Screeching Silcaw
2x Turn Aside
1x Vedalken Certarch
2x Bonds of Quicksilver

Red

1x Bloodshot Trainee
1x Shatter
1x Blade-Tribe Berserkers
1x Vulshok Heartstoker
1x Scoria Elemental
1x Oxidda Daredevil
2x Flameborn Hellion
2x Assault Strobe
1x Koth of the Hammer

Black

1x Psychic Miasma
1x Plague Stinger
1x Painful Quandary
1x Memoricide
1x Contagious Nim
2x Blackcleave Goblin
2x Grasp of Darkness
1x Carnifex Demon
1x Necrogen Scudder
1x Flesh Allergy

Green

1x Bellowing Tanglewurm
1x Slice in Twain
1x Cystbearer
1x Carapace Forger
1x Alpha Tyrranax
1x Untamed Might

White

1x Salvage Scout
1x Seize the Initiative
2x Soul Parry
2x Whitesun's Passage
1x Ghalma's Warden
2x Revoke Existence
2x Myrsmith
1x Dispense Justice
1x Glimmerpoint Stag

My deck:

1x Origin Spellbomb
1x Barbed Battlegear
1x Snapsail Glider
1x Perilous Myr
1x Copper Myr
1x Glint Hawk Idol
1x Palladium Myr
2x Contagion Clasp
1x Silver Myr
1x Tumble Magnet
1x Myr Propagator
2x Vulshok Replica
1x Bloodshot Trainee
1x Shatter
1x Koth of the Hammer
2x Revoke Existence
2x Grasp in Darkness
1x Carnifex Demon
1x Necrogen Scudder
1x Flesh Allergy
2x Plains
6x Mountain
8x Swamp

I think my pool was decent, I just misbuilt it badly. I had never constructed a Scars sealed deck, even just for practice. Opening Koth was also a problem, because I don't know if I should have even played red, as besides him I basically had a Shatter and some mediocre guys. I will say I won every game I played Koth, but I'm probably still just delusional. My mana base was an issue several times, though I don't think I outright lost any games to color problems, but I should have stuck to two. I did not have enough creatures, and the ones I did have were by and large less than stellar. Barbed Battlegear had no place in the deck, since it kills approximately half my creatures. I was thinking about the Bloodshot Trainee when I should not have been, whereas the Livewire Lash or Sylvok Lifestaff would have been much better overall. Glint Hawk Idol was a mistake too because I did not have the artifacts to reliably activate him, much less the white mana. Rob and I discussed the build later and came to the conclusion that straight black/white would have been the better build. Looking back I made a lot of mistakes, but I'm glad that I have been able to analyze them somewhat and simultaneously get a little practice in, which can only help me later.

Here is how the rounds went:

Round 1: Andrew Hoffman - U/R

Game 1: Neither of us get off to a fast start and I draw the majority of my removal so he can't punish me too bad before I draw Koth and drop him with enough protection to where I can get his ultimate. After I kill everything he plays for a few turns he concedes.

Game 2: The board stalls out here until he drops Argent Sphinx and I have to hope I draw Carnifex Demon but I don't and the Sphinx goes all the way.

Game 3: This one went down to the wire and I was doing everything I could to avoid a draw. Time is called during my turn when I have Carnifex Demon out, so I dump one counter and clear the board a little with him at 15. I attack that turn, then on Turn 2 during extra time after removing the final counter, putting him down to 4. He can only muster some non-fliers and I kill him on Turn 4 of extra time. Sometimes bombs, not love, are all you need. (In the case of love it's "is", I know.)

1-0

Round 2: Kyle Bousley - B/G

I wish I could scan the life totals from this, it would illustrate what happened just as clearly. As my opponent sits down, he talks out loud about how he had gotten a game loss in round 1 for showing up late and that wasn't going to happen again. I sorely wish it had.

Game 1: He comes out firing with the super aggressive poison draw and I'm throwing all my removal and a Tumble Magnet at him trying to slow the beats, but my low creature count dooms me as he has what seems like an endless stream of Corpse Curs.

Game 2: See Game 1. Just when I think I've stabilized and can actually start to develop a board position, he rips Untamed Might and finishes me.

Yay poison in sealed! As it turns out, my opponent had something like 9 poison creatures in his whole deck and proceeded to draw almost all of them both games.

1-1

Round 3: Andrew Watts - I can't remember his colors game 1, but he sided into B/G infect for 2 and 3

Andrew was a nice younger guy from Illinois who would have looked like Smalls in 1993 but looked like McLovin' in 2010.

Round 1: His deck seems pretty weak, but I also get Barbed Battlegear on Bloodshot Trainee and he has no way to stop it.

Round 2: He sides into poison and gets "the start" and the game is over in about 5 minutes while I have nightmares from Round 2.

Round 3: I get to 5 poison before I stop the assault and drop Carnifex Demon and bring him to 12. He reestablishes with more creatures, but I draw Koth and he has to start diverting his attacks so Koth doesn't go ultimate. I have enough protection where I can keep him alive and keep sending 4/4's, and the Demon eventually takes care of him.

2-1

Round 4: Mat Mansoor - G/? (I think red)

Game 1: He ramps into massive green dinosaurs and I succumb quickly, not even dealing him a point of damage.

Game 2: He does the same thing but I draw most of my removal and am holding on at 6, while he is basically topdecking the rest of the game and I slowly whittle him down.

Game 3: He gets the hat trick for huge beats but I manage to stop that at 7 life and get Carnifex Demon into play, destroying most of his board and bringing him to 5. He doesn't seem to have the answer and I rip Koth and he gets pretty disgusted before conceding, revealing the Contagion Engine in his hand that Carnifex Demon shuts down.

3-1

Round 5: Jean Baez - U/W

Well all good things must come to an end, and boy did they ever this round. Unlike the poison loss, I straight got outplayed and made my fair share of mistakes against a dedicated control deck. I also thought my opponent was French, which was wrong. His name was Jean, that's a French name, right? Somebody?

Game 1: He gets metalcraft on turn 3 with a Certarch out and starts tapping down my stuff and then adds Tumble Magnet for kicks. He has an army of 4 toughness guys and Sky-Eel Schools sitting there stopping anything I do. Eventually I draw Carnifex Demon and remove some of his guys. I send the Demon, still with 2 counters, and Necrogen Scudder into the red zone, not thinking, and he drops Dispense Justice, making me look even worse than I usually am. I'm forced to lose the counters before I really wanted to, while he drops a Trigon of Rage to pump his fliers to victory.

Game 2: He doesn't have the defensive start from Game 1, but he does have Contagion Engine, and that's all she wrote.

After the match my opponent asks me if I need any Magic cards in Spanish. Since I speak some Spanish I drop a little and he laughs and tells me he's from Puerto Rico (sort of like France, except not) and he has a card shop there before giving me his business card and telling me he would have most of his stock on him the next day. I meant to try and find him to buy something cheap just to have as a souvenir, but I never saw him on Sunday.

3-2

Round 6: Flint Woods - R/W

Round 1: I draw next to no creatures (there's none in my deck, you see) and am forced to chump and use Tumble Magnet defensively before Kuldotha Phoenix decapitates me.

Round 2: Seeing as how I'm one round away from elimination, I decide to side out the red and bring the white in for the first time. I get a Myrsmith down and start making lots of 1/1 tokens, followed by getting Propagator online, and soon I have two rows of an army and my opponent concedes before things get worse.

Round 3: Kuldotha Phoenix shows up right on schedule on Turn 5. I kill it and do everything to keep him off metalcraft, until he regains it with Wurmcoil Engine. Futile attempts at survival while I hope to draw Revoke Existence yield nothing, and the drop box is checked.

Final: 3-3

A record of 7-2 was required to make Day 2, so I was eliminated from contention. Besides Rob I was the only one of our group to make it that far, so I went to get some food. I got to wait 30 minutes at a "Quick Eats" hamburger place in the hotel, but I had a voucher for a discount and it was pretty damn good. Rob hung in until Round 8, when he picked up his third loss. I checked out feature matches and watched Sam go 3-1 in the Super Standard event, losing to a turd of a man in the finals. We headed back to the hotel soon after and I passed out, sadly missing the hotel breakfast the next morning. I did a draft the next day, but this post is long, so I will get to it later.

It's Never Too Late to Give Up

2010-10-06T20:56:00.003-05:00

Now that Scars of Mirrodin is dropped, any of these Limited articles will shift to it from M11. Just from the first draft I can tell that Scars is a more difficult set to draft, being that it's not a core set, added to the the artifact proportionality and the infect strategy. From that you can guess that my results were not up to my previous soaring heights, but oh well. I apologize because I do not know the set well enough to remember all the card names yet, so I will have to allude at some points. I drafted R/W and my deck was decent. I had Embersmith, two Shatter, the 3/3 dude that destroyers an artifact when he hits the battlefield, an Arrest, an Arc Trail, a Galvanic Blast, the 3/3 dude that exiles a permanent, and some other stuff. I really should hang on to my decks...

Just about every pick was tough, as I went in fairly blind and I'm fairly certain so did most of the others at the table, as the cards I was seeing were all over the place. I first picked the 3/1 pro-artifact Infect green guy, which might be terrible but nothing else really stood out. After that I got passed a little white and a lot of red. I saw a Ratchet Bomb pack one, pick two but took the 3/3 exile dude over it, which Rob told me was wrong and he is the Limited deity of Kentucky, so I'll go with him. I should've taken it just so I could sell it for five dollars. Other than that I don't remember many of the picks. This report sucks. On to the matchups.

Match 1 : Mon0-Blue

My opponent had a fairly artifact heavy blue deck, the highlight of which was two Volition Reins. The first game he takes one of my dudes, but I'm able to sacrifice the 3/1 artifact guy that hits players for 3, recur it with the 3/3 white flier that returns artifacts, sac it again and then Galvanic Blast him out. Second game I just die. This report sucks. Third game he stalls on land and I get a fast start with Myrsmith, so by the time he drops the Reins I've got too much pressure. Off to a good start.

Match 2: W/U

I've played against this guy before and he's always wearing good heavy metal t-shirts, so he's A-OK in my book. Sadly, the first game was a nightmare, as my draw was pretty bad and he was able to recur Contagion Engine multiple times. He was shaky on the rulers regarding how the Clasp could put poison counters on a player so he was not activating it, which I was hoping would give me an advantage (I mean, obviously it's an advantage...yeah, pretty pointless clarification of something that was unnecessary in the first place). Since I'm not on a clock, I manage to stay in the game just enough with Heavy Arbalest that he drops Sunblast Angel to just try and kill me. I misplay (thanks again Rob), as I have the resources to kill the Angel on my turn but don't see it and he kills me. When the first game is over we only have fifteen minutes left in the round...yikes. I do not know if I should have conceded earlier or not, but it at least would have bought more time in the match. Instead, I get an aggressive start Game 2 and win in about ten minutes. Still, that doesn't leave enough time for the third game and we draw. This is the first time I've ever gone to time in sanctioned play, so hopefully I will think about this in the future. Or just play faster. Or just play better. Or both.

Game 3 - G/B (not infect)

Well this was pretty disheartening. Game 1 he plays the black 3/3 flier for 2B where he loses three life. I bounce it my temporary exile guy, hoping to race him, but he has the -4/-4 removal spell for it and things aren't looking good and I lose quickly. Game 2 starts off much better, as he mulligans down to five. I keep a decent hand, but my opponent curves out from drops two through five, the last of which is the 2/5 Giant-er Spider guy, which shuts down my whole team. His fliers finish me off in short order. That series took about ten minutes. This format can be fast.

I don't have enough points to get into the Top 4 cut, so I leave to get some work in in lieu of doing a second (and cheaper, damnit), draft. Scars looks like an interesting set to draft, and I am wanting to try out the infect deck, so hopefully I will be able to draft again soon and please my legion of followers (MY READERSHIP HAS DOUBLED TO 2).

M11 Draft #2

2010-09-20T00:23:00.004-05:00

I had to wait a week but draft #2 has come and gone. Read on to see if I return to the previous glories of the first draft or if I replay 2003.

Sadly there were no tales from before the draft, as we had the cards this time and were able to start much earlier. We have nine people again, so someone gets a bye. Some new faces, notably a guy whose name I forget but is called Johnny Redbeard by my friend Chris, who has a hatred so thick for him you can drizzle it over pancakes (I stole that line from Patton Oswalt). Mainly because JB comes down to the store, plants his ass in the floor and reads comics without paying for them and then will drop a fart every now and then. Just in case you were on the fence about this guy being a winner, here was his plan of action. He had to work at 8 pm. The draft started at 6 pm. Trouble in paradise? Yep, he willingly dropped $20 so he could get roughly $12 worth of cards and only be able to play one round, with no way to win any product and make his entry back. The only way that works is if you just rare draft, but M11 is a fairly weak set for that and it's a moot point because he didn't anyway.

My recollections are a little lax this week, sorry. I also have already donated my draft deck to the Smith cause so I don't have my decklist. The draft starts and I first pick Doom Blade. At the end of Pack 1 I'm clearly in blue black, with an Assassinate, Cloud Elemental, Air Servant, and a Scroll Thief. Pack 2 I pick up a Howling Banshee, Clone, Mana Leak and a Forsee, and notably a late (8th or 9th) Pyroclasm. Pack 3 I get some more decent stuff like an Ice Cage, Azure Drake, Augury Owl, Corrupt, and some filler. The highlight is a fourth pick Fireball...yeah, that shouldn't be in there. To compliment that, I find a Prodigal Pyromancer that tables and it looks like I have a red splash. I also had a Warlord's Axe and a Whispersilk Cloak. In retrospect I don't think I should have played the Cloak, as my deck was almost exclusively evasion creatures and creature-light already. The only thing it worked well with was Scroll Thief. Nether Horror or even Maritime Guard seems like the better choice. The Axe is a large mana investment, but since I only had one 5-drop and nothing higher, I thought it might be able to send my fliers over the top when I needed the last few points of damage. My mana base was 9 Island, 6 Swamp, and 2 Mountain. Once again I had nothing valuable outside of the draft, as I was on the other side of the table from the girl who opened a pack with double Primeval Titan and got a nice shiny $50-60 piece of cardboard.

Round 1: The Constructed Hype-Man Strikes Back

Again this guy drafted mono-black, but this time he didn't have Grave Titan. He did have two Captivating Vampire, which he had tried to base his entire deck around to horrific results. Game 1 is over pretty quick, his deck just can't compete with my pile of jank. Game 2 is not over pretty quick. I have the life totals, and at one point he was at 27 from Demon's Horn. However, as you know (or if you don't you do now) that card it terrible in Limited. I draw so much removal and he just keeps playing Disentomb. Finally I get a board presence and wipe his whole side of the field with Pyroclasm and estamos terminado. Addendum 1: David (or CHM, which is what I think I'm going to refer to him as in the future), says "pull" whenever he draws. I'm a little torn on this. I like the word pull, but only in the context of referring to a relatively obscure pop culture reference. For example, you and some friends are walking through an intersection, the light changes, the driver in the closest car blares his horn, and someone in the group then says, "Man, who does this guy think we are, Barry Allen?" Then someone else says, "Nice pull." My favorite is the line about the demilitarized zone from Ghostbusters. What's yours? Addendum 2: While the games are going on, Zach, who I didn't play last week but who I thought might be one of the better players, decides to scout everyone's deck. He comes over and just stares at my hand and I hide it face down. This will be sort of awesome in a turd way later. Addendum 3: Ron Trauma got the ultimate from Ajani Goldmane during Round 1 against the bastard 9th cousin of life.dec. He gained some life himself, then cast Overwhelming Stampede and attacked for over 100.

Round #2: Justin

Justin had a B/R deck that was a mixture of a burn deck and the Threaten deck. He had several Act of Treason but no way to get rid of the creatures. He also had a Fire Servant, something I had seen enough of last week. We split the first two games non-remarkably. In the third, he has almost no pressure after I Doom Blade his first guy and get in with Scroll Thief. I'm slowly whittling him down and get him to 5 with me at 15. With him at 8 mana he casts double Act of Treason and then laments the fact that he can't do anything with the one card in his hand, which is Demon of Death's Gate. I saw this card early in the draft and passed it. I think in the past I would have channeled Pete Townsend and planted that thing in my pile quickly, but I'm better now. That card is terrible. His attack with my guys does not kill me and then he asks what's in my hand. I tell him if he's conceding I'll be happy to show him. He says he is and I show him two land. I'm assuming he was worried about a counter for the card he couldn't cast regularly or through the alternate casting cost. Addendum 4: He was running at least two Lava Axe, which I'm assuming was his win condition. So do I side in my two Flashfreeze? Nope, because I'm that good/terrible. Addendum 5: After my game is done, there's only one match left. It's a guy who hasn't played in forever who drafted a mono-white deck that is beyond bad. He went with the stereotypical life gain with no actual kill condition or threats. As such, his games could last a long time, but he would never concede even though he literally had no chance at winning a game. Since we're on a short clock anyway, this is a problem. Now I don't want to be that guy, but too late. Read some Marx, go to Asia, or do something. Whatever it is, take one for the collective and FUCKING PACK IT IN.

Round 3: Zach

My deck decided to vomit this round, though I certainly didn't help. Game 1 I should have mulliganed to 5 but kept, hoping to draw an Island, which didn't show up until it was too late. Game 2 my opener is 6 lands and Warlord's Axe. I go down to 4 before I get a playable hand. This was a genuinely frustrating game besides the mulligans. I figure out this game that Zach's deck is even more creature-light than mine. So while I have nothing, he is attacking with Viscera Seer only for about four turns. This makes me think I have a chance, as I'm able to draw into some removal and Mana Leak, meaning he has no real pressure. Instead of playing threats while I sit with three land forever, he casts Sign in Blood and Jace's Ingenuity, making sure he has a full grip of goodness. As such, I finally start playing dudes and he plays Aether Adept for three consecutive turns. Yay. I mean, his strategy worked, I would just rather get wrecked quickly rather than slowly. Mind Control and Sleep help too, I hear.

So I'm at 2-1 and am able to draw into the Top 4 reset and we effectively skip the final round, which means we can play to see who gets to split the packs, as we still will not have time for the finals. Ron is first, Zach second, I'm third, and Luke is fourth. So I sit right back down against Zach.

Round 4 (or 5): Zach por el segundo vez.

Game 1 is a terrible flashback, as I mulligan more and he draws creatures. From the life totals, I can see I took him to 18 and then slowly went to zero. Things turn around in Game 2. He mentions early when I play a mountain that he did not know I was playing red from any of the previous three games. The whole game was a race but I had Fireball in my hand and I thought he he didn't know I had it because (FLASHBACK) that was the card I had in my hand that I hid from him. Here's the situation: I have Howling Banshee and six mana in play. He has a guy out that I have Ice Cage on, a Liliana's Specter, and a Cloud Elemental. He's at 7 and I'm at 6. He's tapped out so I decide to go for it. I attack with the Howling Banshee, thinking that it screams trick, though really I'm not sure. He did not have lethal on the board, though he might have had a way to get rid of the Ice Cage. He was running Unsummon and Diminish, but both of those would not have let him kill me the next turn. He could have cast Sign in Blood on me, as I can't remember if he had already played it that game. I think in that situation, with the life totals as they were, I would double block, but I could be thinking too cautiously. He lets it through, goes to 4 and I show him the Fireball. From a completely-admitted asshole/shiteater/worthless fuck perspective, the look on his face was priceless.

So like last week it's one game to decide if I get to give Rob more cards (unless I pull one of the seven or so cards I could sell on ebay) or if I go home with my draft deck only. This game was a nice change of pace, as he draws tricks but no guys and eventually he just can't cope with my board. He resolves Liliana Vess and tutors up Sleep to try and slow me down but my hand is an Exxon station while he's sitting on a few cards in hand and one creature that I have Ice Cage on. I play Liliana's Specter and he pitches Redirect, which seems odd, since that would be good for the Fireball I'm holding. The other card in his hand is a Diminish, which he plays when I attack. At this point we're both at 8 and he has nothing in hand and nothing effective on the board. I untap, ready to attack for five and then drop the Fireball but he concedes. Sadly, he cannot stop from saying about how he had messed up and thrown the game away by discarding Redirect and how I should be dead. The only problem with that logic is he's wrong. I could only Fireball for 4, so if he sends it at me, I just kill him next turn. He could hit my Specter but he couldn't kill my Banshee too because of the 3 toughness and having to pay for the split. Not to mention I had Assassinate and Corrupt (though I couldn't cast it on five mana) and another creature in my hand. I tell him this, letting him know there was nothing he really could have done, and he just keeps saying he threw the game away and I should have lost. Irritating, but I got the packs and opened absolutely nothing of value except a foil Mountain.

It's late and I suck. The end.

The Regathering of Magical Things

2010-09-08T21:31:00.004-05:00

I have started messing with Magic again, and I think if the playgroup in my weekend location can stick together I will keep with it. I certainly am reading sites and following coverage again, so it feels like it's 2003, except I think I am somewhat better at the game. Anyway, I know one person who used to love to read my 0-2 drop tournament reports and I'm hoping he still does. This was the first draft I had done in 4 years and the first I had done where I really had a semblance of what was happening in 6 years. Here we go with M11 Draft.

I show up to the store and I'm the last person for our crew of 9. Time may pass, but the same goobers still play the game. We've got the guy whose wife is calling him every five minutes wondering where his mom is so she can come pick up their damned kids. We've got the guy who has a totally savage, brutal, burngasm comment after every other person's sentence. We've got the guy talking about his awesome constructed decks before the draft. There's the older guy that doesn't fit in but tries to hoot 'n' holler with the youngans. Then we've got the guy who, God bless him, is just so annoying you can't suffice his existence in a world with any sort of higher power or omnipotent force of good. And then there are the people you can handle. All 3 of them. The draft starts and research just goes out the window. I can watch LSV draft all day on MTGO and think I've got a minor handle on things. What the hell was I thinking? First pick I take a Garruk's Packleader over Sleep. After this I don't remember much because I was seeing cards so late that should be mid-range to high picks that I had no idea what to draft. I think I passed a Serra Angel pick 2 for an Air Servant instead. This is instructional, right? Then I see a Blinding Mage pick 4. I stare at it wondering why it's there. Anyway, I take it just because I want to keep options open figuring white is there. Then I see a Forsee like pick 7 or 8 and scoop it up. I think I get an Azure Drake like 11th and at the end of Pack 1 I have a bunch of G/B/U stuff and a Blinding Mage. After this point I remember nothing specific. I got a Mitotic Slime to go with a Gravedigger along with a Cudgel Troll and Sylvan Ranger, which was good because at this point I was looking at three colors. Pack 3 is good news when I get a Cultivate early and then a second Awakener Druid and Acidic Slime. Just to tell you the level of this table (and I by no means am a good drafter, but still) there was an Assault Griffin that went 14th pick...come on guys, really?

I end up with G/U/B with this list:

2x Barony Vampire,
2x Awakener Druid
2x Lllanowar Elves
1x Azure Drake
1x Yavimaya Wurm
1x Gravedigger
1x Mitotic Slime
1x Royal Assassin
1x Acidic Slime
1x Sylvan Ranger
1x Giant Spider
1x Cudgel Troll
1x Air Servant
1x Gargoyle Sentinel
1x Garruk's Packleader
1x Howling Banshee
1x Jace's Ingenuity
1x Forsee
1x Cultivate

1x Mystifying Maze
8x Forest
5x Island
4x Swamp

The mana might not be correct, as in that may not be the numbers I played and it is probably horribly mis-built from the start. It only ended up being an issue in one game. Also, I only had one 2-drop and possibly too many 4 and 5-drops. Hey, I never said I was good.

Round 1: Guy who was super annoying.

We set down and dude comments that our first names are both Josh. Since I can't make it to the courthouse until Monday to change my name, we start Game 1. His deck is just awful. This will be a mini-theme. He was playing a bunch of terrible cards, the highlight being one of the 2-cost artifacts where you gain life if they cast a certain color spell. Anyway, I just crush him Game 1. Game 2, he at least shows something by getting rid of a guy with Doom Blade. He then has two bad creatures and then shows me the combo of the millennium, Mass Polymorph. Except he hits more terrible guys, one of which was a Liliana's Specter (COMBO, I guess). I crush him again. After the game he tells me he's running Mass Polymorph so he can hit Inferno Titan, which he cannot get into play any other way...yep. As an addendum to this match, here's a nugget of wisdom from this guy before we drafted. He said that there were two cards he would pick no matter his colors or anything if he opened or was passed them: Doom Blade (that's sorta reasonable) and Mana Leak (that's sorta not reasonable).

Round 2: Guy who was his own constructed hype-man.

I knew he had cracked a Grave Titan and a Fauna Shaman, so I was wondering how this would go. Turns out he went mono-black (apparently channeling Frank Karsten from Odyssey block) and his deck was muy mal. Still, he had Grave Titan. Game 1 he plays sub-optimal cards and it's over quick. Game 2 is a little different. I come out a little slow but he stalls out and really has nothing threatening and is stuck on five mana. He hits Swamp #6 and Grave Titan comes out. I start hanging back but he immediately attacks with it next turn. Here's another addendum. This guy sort of reminds me of me when I used to play. Loves the game and makes rough plays and then hates the game. Sure enough I have two guys that can double block and I take out GT. He sort of stares at the board and doesn't understand what's happening. I explain that both my guys will die and so will his. He finally figures it out and is not happy. Earlier he made a similar mistake with Stabbing Pain where he wasted the card and I tried to show him how if he had played the card differently, it would benefit him. I gave him the option to back up and he refused, which further reminds me of myself because I used to blatantly screw up, be told what I did wrong, and then just get pissed and never learn. Anyway, enough with the after school special. I come back soon and win.

Game 3: Ron Trauma

Ron was the best player there and a nice dude as the de facto runner of things. I thought his deck was a little janky but he showed me in the end. Game 1 the board gets cluttered but I have Packleader and eventually I overwhelm him. Game 2 I have mana issues and he takes me out quick. Game 3 is disappointing because I think if I get through Ron I could go undefeated but I keep a slow hand and he gets Fire Servant out on the table, which I know is bad because he has plenty of burn. Chandra's Outrage takes out my best guy and I take four, he then Flings a guy at me for 6 and then Fireball comes straight to the dome for like 100. Addendum #3: Ron's last name is not Trauma, but that is his wrestling name. Yes, he is a former local pro wrestler who packed it in but still works the show as a commentator and manager. So to me he is Ron Trauma. Why do I know this? I went to a show he was at. Yes, legions, whenever I drop my frequent cultural elitism, remember I have attended a local pro wrestling show and am full of shit.

Game 4: Luke, who I didn't mention earlier. He got hit by a car like a year ago, got a bunch of money and spent it all because he doesn't understand scarcity. He was there drafting because he had taken money from his girlfriend to pay bills and instead invested it in WOTC's product.

Luke had a U/W deck but his cards weren't that great. I think in every game he attacked into my empty board on turn three and cast Mighty Leap to get in that extra two to the face. Game 1 he just runs out of cards after casting what I swear was every physical copy of Unsummon in the world and it's over. Game two I stall on mana and he's able to clog up the board and then drops a Blinding Mage, allowing him to tap down the creature I needed to survive a turn later. We go to Game 3 and Ron lets us know since we have the fortune to play in a place that is not where we get the cards and closes at 10 pm, we have about fifteen minutes to finish up and the winner will split the prize in the finals. Game 3 gets pretty tight. He gets out some guys and I'm light on action. I'm down to 8 and he has more guys on board than I do. He untaps and drops Inspired Charge, the last card in hand, before I declare blockers...uhh? I was planning on chumping anyway, but now he gets nothing and even loses guys. On the next turn I'm able to drop Azure Drake and get Howling Banshee back with Gravedigger. I'm hesitant about playing the Banshee, which will take me down to 3, but I figure it's my path to victory as he has no flying blockers. A few turns later he concedes when he still has a turn to live. I get 9 packs. Addendum #4: Luke acted like he either hadn't slept in a week or was going through withdrawal from narcotics. Paying attention and moving seemed to be a chore. He also seems prone to thinking he's a man out of time, as about half his vocabulary comes from the movie Grease.

The perfect ending to this story? I got home and spilled Diet Mountain Dew all over my deck. Thankfully there was nothing good in there. This whole report was unnecessary, but fun. Hopefully I do it again next week.

Favorite Music of 2009

2010-05-24T16:53:00.003-05:00

Almost six months late, here are my favorite slabs of new music from last year. Noticed there is no "best-of" or "top" monikers, because someone with the limited access and musical vocabulary as myself needs to limit hyperbole.

In no particular order:

Revocation - "Existence is Futile"
Everyone characterizes this as thrash metal, but it always seemed more like a mix between old-school death metal and melodic death metal. There's no keyboards or clean singing, but it doesn't have the brutality of Morbid Angel or Death. I probably just can't categorize music. No matter the genre, this album knocked me on my ass. The songwriting is tight and the whole band contributes cleanly in the mix. Quasi-jazz breakdowns get thrown in and the songs have grooves but never get boring. I've heard that this album isn't a huge step up from their first and that the second half is much stronger than the first but I disagree. The songs seem more focused here than on "Empire of the Obscene" and overall I think the first half is stronger, but the whole thing is excellent.

Favorite track - "Deathonomics"

Cormorant - "Metazoa"
I started checking out more unsigned/obscure bands this past year and Cormorant (along with Iron Thrones, whose album came out in 2008 or else it would be on here) was one of the best finds. They have a really nice progressive black metal sound going on, but with some serious hooks and melodies. The average song length is around seven minutes but all the tracks fly by they're so good. This album was the first I bought a physical copy of in probably five years. I've completely shifted to digital music, but had to have this record so bad I bought the CD because I couldn't find it for download. You should too.

Favorite track - "Blood on the Cornfields"

Baroness - "Blue Record"
Did I come up with the term Post-Appalachian Sludge to describe Baroness? I can't remember and it is probably a misnomer, but I like it damn it. I find this weaker than their previous titan of a release, The Red Album, but this is still a great collection of stoner rock that crushes you with riff after riff as John Baizely curdles you ears with his Georgian shouts and screams. I'm not sure how I feel about the repeated melody that runs throughout, though it is quite beautiful.

Favorite track - "Swollen and Halo"

Centaurus-A - "Side Effects Expected"
This is my "doesn't change or innovate but still still rocks" pick. These guys dropped an acceptable modern death metal release. The standout here is the lead work, which flows to soaring heights that only Revocation equaled. Seriously, the solos are downright awesome. The real bummer is the production, with the guitars sounding artificial and stagnant and the drums being the definition of over-produced. Hopefully they can get a better mix and work on diversifying their songs, because they've got real potential.

Favorite track - "The Praying Mantis"

Saviours - "Accelerated Living"
By and large, I've avoided the "re-thrash" movement because it all blends together for me. The one exception was Saviours, a band I'm glad I took a chance on. In addition to being a straight-ahead steamroller of an album, the high point is the production, which is some of the best I've heard on a modern metal album. It sounds so raw, but not in an 80s sort of way. No, this is something I thought I'd never hear: purely synthetic nostalgia that slays.

Favorite track - "Slave to the Hex"

Mastodon - "Crack the Skye"
Revelation: I've never been a big Mastodon fan. So yes, if you're on of their fans that thinks they betrayed their real sound and sold out to the masses, I'm your nemesis. What I always heard was a bunch of half-realized riffs and a band running on pure energy. Sure, they had songs I could get into, but with Crack the Skye they ditched all that and made a complete record, dare I say a prog-metal masterpiece. When Brett Hinds (I hope) sang "Spiraling up through the crack in the skye" it was like I literally had come online, fully awake and ready to view Rasputin through a wormhole.

Favorite track - "The Czar"

Kylesa - "Static Tensions"
Two drummers in a sludge band? Seemed a bit unnecessary, but I'll check it out. Turns out the rhythms turn into a lulling feeling that somehow never gets undone by the harsh-ish vocals. Outside of that, I don't have much to say. Just listen to this is you like metal, because it's that damn good.

Favorite track - "To Walk Alone"

Between the Buried and Me - "The Great Misdirect"
Are they still a band where the moments tend to overwhelm the whole? You bet, but when the moments are this good, just shut up and listen. I still think they've yet to write their best material, which is kind of scary. One definite upgrade from "Colors?" The vocals, which seem much stronger and varied than before, where they just plodded into the background of everything else. Besides Cynic, there's not a band whose next album I can't wait to hear more.

Favorite track - I'm going to cheat and say that "Swim to the Moon" and "Disease, Injury, Madness" tie.

Devin Townsend Project - "Ki" and "Addicted"
I've never gotten into Strapping Young Lad or listened to much of his previous solo efforts, but I think it would be hard to find a guy more respected by such a wide variety of people. The guy personifies credibility. Since I follow metal on the internet, it would've been impossible to not check these releases out. The first two parts of a planned quartet of albums, "Ki" is the mellow, restrained lead-in to the heavier, catchy, and at times ridiculously poppy sound of "Addicted." They're both great and a testament to how talented Townsend and his associates are, as well as how easily he can switch sounds.

Favorite track - "Trainfire" from "Ki" and "Hyperdrive!" from "Addicted"

Porcupine Tree - "The Incident"
The fact that I had to think for a few seconds what the title of this was is probably the best sign that of the the past tens years or so, this is my least favorite release of Steven Wilson's biggest project. Originally I was excited as can be that the album would be one single huge track, no breaks or explained movements. I still haven't figured out if I just misrepresented what was reported, but the album instead is split up into fourteen tracks. Too many of them are short interludes that are unfortunately forgettable and feel like a void on the work as a whole. There really are only two tracks that stand out to me, with Wilson showing again that he can write a haunting ending like no one else. They're still one of my favorite bands ever, but this was a a disappointment. Still, I'll listen to whatever they release.

Favorite track - "I Drive the Hearse"

There it is. I probably missed all the good albums.

C2E2 Report

2010-04-21T23:58:00.006-05:00

I don't think I've ever written a con report, or at least published one. In honor of the first new con in Chicago in several years, I'm going to do this shit. One glaring flaw is that I took a record-low amount of photos, less than ten, so you'll just have to believe what I'm saying. I would imagine anyone that is reading this was probably there with me, so that disclaimer is pointless.

A little background: I attended Wizard's Chicago show from 2005-2009. Some years were better than others. Even at its most diverse, it's focus was always on Marvel and DC. As I gradually moved away from being exclusively in that territory, the show offered me less and less, but there were always things to look forward to and it always functioned as a vacation and a chance to hang out with friends, some who I rarely saw outside the trip. Unfortunately, the bottom fell out of Wizard's downward slope last year. Their strategy switched from comics to random media guests. Now I know all about how outside groups have been brought into comic conventions, often turning them into more of a general pop culture gathering than one for comics only. But in Wizard's case, they abandoned the comics part greatly. Marvel and DC weren't even there, which for a show that catered significantly to them and their fans, was downright baffling. Add to this Wizard's inability to bring in fresh guests and you had an event that I didn't feel like was worth driving six hours for and paying $60 to experience. As a group, we collectively decided we were done with Wizardworld.

At the time, Reed Exhibitions had announced they were going to bring a con to Chicago in 2010 but not much was known about it. However, judging from the quick rise of the New York Comic-Con that they ran, I had high hopes. As more details became available, my friends and I decided that C2E2 made more sense. I had a few problems with the scheduling due to school but was able to overcome them and I'm glad I did. I think it was a good first showing that has potential to only get better in the coming years.

Some specific points.

- There was a good variety and number of publishers there. Marvel, DC, Image, Dark Horse, Boom!, Oni, Top Shelf, and Avatar all had booths. While I would love to see Fantagraphics or PictureBox, those companies are never going to come to a show like this. Pantheon was supposed to have a presence of some sort, but that didn't happen for reasons I'll get into later. There was a section on the floor dedicated to webcomics that saw heavy traffic also.

- Significant creator presence. In particular, they were creators there that had been at Wizard shows once or twice in the past and would have been established as a draw. The difference here was, they were all at this show. For a core Marvel/DC superhero fan, this show had a massive list of big names. In addition to that, Mike Mignola and Jeff Smith filled enough of a quasi-indie niche to show that the organizers aren't only thinking about one group. Also, Chris Ware (!) and Dash Shaw being present is a big deal period. Ware was only there for one hour and Shaw was in limbo the whole weekend (I'm getting there) but still: Chris Ware and Dash Shaw! Hopefully more people in the vein of the last group are continually recruited.

- The show is focused on comics. Sure, there were non-comics entities there. Art schools, Nintendo, and even a tattoo conglomerate had set up shop. But by and large, comics ruled the day. There were hardly any D-list celebrities there and outside the Kick-Ass premiere and a Doctor Who screening, there was really very little movie or television presence. Will this change in the coming years? Probably, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't appreciate it now.

- Much smaller than I expected. I'd guess this is more a product of first-year jitters than anything else. The show floor was smaller than the one in Rosemont for Wizard's show and there was still a good amount of open space. Even though there were more publishers, there were a lot less retailers than at past cons. Artist's Alley seemed about comparable. Attendance wasn't high either. Saturday was the busiest day as usual, but even then walking around wasn't too cumbersome. The thing is, I like all that just fine. The show had a pretty relaxed atmosphere, that while probably nothing like MoCCA or Heroes Con, still was pretty refreshing.

Beyond this, there is a multitude of small things I want to nitpick about. First, McCormick Place, where the show was, is in BFE. When I heard the location was going to be actually in Chicago instead of in Rosemont, I figured this meant downtown. Not exactly. McCormick Place basically was dropped on a huge piece of land right off the interstate. There is nothing around it. On Friday, we drove around for over an hour trying to find something to eat. Turns out there aren't any restaurants in the surrounding area, or at least we couldn't find any, with a GPS. On Sunday, we just decided to eat in Rosemont, where we staying, before heading to the con to avoid previous headaches. Secondly, the show was organized somewhat poorly. Part of this is that it was the first year, and both the attendees and the staff have to get used to everything, but beyond that some odd choices were made. We were often directed into rooms we could have easily avoided, and lines into the show were micromanaged to the point of futility. McCormick Place itself is confusing. Hopefully most of this will be better for both sides in the coming years as everyone settles in. Lastly, some of the staff were overly adamant and aggressive, but that has been the case for six years straight. Still, it's not necessary to yell at people to move forward when the person in front of them has taken five steps. Just sayin'.

Here's most of my haul.

It was another light year for me, as school and a pending trip to Germany in the summer are getting most of my money. Still, I'm happy with what I got. I found Boy's Club #2 and 3 along with Ganges #3 at the Chicago Comics booth. Always happy to support them after I visited their excellent store last year. I talked with Guy Davis for a bit in Artist's Alley and bought his sketchbook. I'm usually not a fan of con sketchbooks, as them seem hastily put together and I rarely give them a second look, but Davis's is nice. It's bound, bigger, and has a wide variety of art, along with quite a bit of interior writing and commentary, something missing from almost every other sketchbook I've looked at. Also ran into Matt Kindt for the third year in a row at the Top Shelf booth, where I got his new Super-Spy collection. I loved Super-Spy and bought this on the spot. Kindt unknowingly gave even more firepower to my obsession with eye patches by sketching one of the characters with one on the inside cover. I also bought almost all the Hellboy and BPRD trades I was missing, but didn't feel like including them, and I really don't know why. They're awesome though, trust me.

Prints and sketches have taken a hit in the past few years, as even the smaller artists I care about have been getting more popular and started charging more for their talents. Good for them I say. Guy Davis did the quick Lobster Johnson for me when I bought his sketchbook. The Seaguy was done by Cameron Stewart, who I didn't even know was going to be at the show until he was invited up on stage during a panel previewing a documentary on Grant Morrison. While I was at his table, a guy came up and asked if he could pencil a drawing of Batman on his leg that would be used as an outline for a tattoo. Stewart was reluctant, especially to draw it straight onto the guy. However, thanks to the internet I found the ending to this story. He drew it out on paper and gave it to the guy, who then did get the tattoo, which you can see here (went for the arm instead).

Special mention has got to go to these bad boys, courtesy of Cliff Chiang. I had seen these on his website and forgotten about them, but at $20 for both, how could I not buy them?

The thing that I'm most disappointed to not have in any of the pictures is a copy of Dash Shaw's new book Bodyworld. Originally serialized and still available as a webcomic on his website, it's this crazy soap-opera/sci-fi story that was unlike anything I'd ever read. The pictures of the book I've seen are gorgeous and it was the thing I was most looking forward to buying, not to mention actually meeting Shaw, whose other book, The Unclothed Man in the 35th Century AD, had some excellent stories from his MOME and animation work as well. Sadly, Shaw didn't really have a presence at the show. He was on a panel with Chip Kidd and Chris Ware that I attended, but after that I searched for the Pantheon booth and couldn't find it. I was dismayed that they weren't in the show program even though they had been listed on the website. Randomly enough on Saturday, while setting on the floor in the cafeteria, I saw Shaw walking through the room. Funnily, my foot was asleep, so I couldn't catch up to him before he went outside. I didn't feel like walking outside and interrupting his phone conversation, so I stalker-esque waited for him. I ended up letting him back inside as the doors in that area lock from the inside (I didn't get it either) and talking to him from there. I hope he didn't think I was some nutball, but he was the person I was most looking forward to seeing. He went on to inform me that there had been a mixup and Pantheon had no exhibitor space or any of their product at the show, so he was basically screwed. We ended up setting in the cafeteria and talking about all kinds of random comics stuff for about a half hour. He signed my copy of Unclothed Man and drew some nice pen sketches on the inside. While I felt bad he didn't have any presence at the show, I likely wouldn't have gotten to talk to him on such an intimate level if he had. It's easily the coolest thing that's ever happened to me at a con, getting to talk to a guy who really is one of the most interesting and visionary new cartoonists in comics.

Overall, C2E2 was a grand ol' time. The show was leagues better than any of the Wizard shows and has the potential to get even better in the years to come. With some luck I'll be there to experience some of them.

Fight Night Picks

2010-03-30T22:27:00.002-05:00

Nate Quarry vs Jorge Rivera - Two guys nearing the end of the career that have put together winning streaks, but I see Quarry as the favorite. I think his wrestling will be too much for Rivera and he should control the fight handily. Guessing a TKO by ground and pound.

Ross Pearson vs Dennis Siver - Here's a potential fight of the night. Pearson looked excellent in his proper UFC debut, putting on a striking clinic against Aaron Riley. Siver has won four in a row, two by highlight-reel spinning back kick knockout. Both these guys can go hard, but I'm feeling Pearson by TKO, but I could see this one going the distance and being close.

Roy Nelson vs Stefan Struve - Still gunning for that Burger King endorsement, Big Country tries to topple the Skyscraper. I should write for MMA websites. Anyway, I just don't see Struve being able to do anything against Nelson's weight advantage and substantial grappling ability. Nelson's striking has received attention after his knockout of Brendan Schaub, and Struve will have to use his reach to keep Nelson on the outside or he'll have that to worry about too. I would say Nelson will have to watch Struve's length on the ground, but I think Nelson is too sharp for that. Nelson by TKO.

Kenny Florian vs Takanori Gomi - Hmm, I'm still trying to figure out why the UFC signed Gomi. The guy is a legend, but he hasn't been relevant in what, three years? He was always so popular in Japan that the only way he would ever fight outside the country would have to be in some promotional swap (like Aoki is doing with Strikeforce) or if he had faded away. Does the UFC think Gomi has revitalized his career and can make a run at the lightweight belt and get a rematch with BJ Penn? (Incidentally, did you know Penn has not been taken down by a lightweight in six years? Cage Potato keeps bringing it up and it amazes me every time.) They must, because I think they're throwing him to the wolves by putting him in against Florian, arguably the second best lightweight in the world. I don't think Gomi's striking is as sharp as it used to be and I don't see any way Florian doesn't pick him apart on the feet. If Gomi tries to draw on his wrestling base he faces some serious jiu-jitsu. Florian by submission.

Mass Effect 2 Review

2010-03-14T19:02:00.006-05:00

Mass Effect 2 is a superior game to its predecessor and Bioware should be given credit for fixing the majority of the serious issues with the original. More importantly, they made some key overhauls that not only better the game, but make it different from the first Mass Effect, so you are not playing the same game with different characters or story. Due to me being uncreative, here are some bullet lists.

THE GOOD

Primary shooter/secondary RPG. This is the biggest change between the two Mass Effects. The first was an RPG first and a shooter second. This relegated the combat to underdevelopment. It looked great in previews and test runs, but seemed around halfway there when released. Fortunately Bioware looked at this and took the steps to fix it. Mass Effect 2 now plays fully like the 3rd-person cover shooter made popular by Gears of War. The cover system has been improved from its near-unusable state in Mass Effect to the key component of combat. Unlike the first game, you cannot just run straight into enemies and mow them down. Careful management of cover is required to survive and the controls to use it work well. The way ammunition works is different too. Formerly, weapons had unlimited ammo but had an overheat gauge. This was a decent idea but fell apart when you realized ammo management was unnecessary. Now weapons do use ammo, but they all use a single type that enemies will drop. While this seems like the new false front, it makes sense because of the six possible class types for your character and their limitations on what weapons they can use. Specific ammo types would create the details that Mass Effect 2 sheds. Building on this, the micromanagement of equipment has been removed. You will only upgrade to different weapons in the same class (like getting a different assault rifle or shotgun from the one you currently have) a few times, and the new one is always better. Instead, weapons as a type can be upgraded for your whole squad and you can change up your armor but not the armor of your squad. I'll discuss why I think this might be a little too much later, but overall I feel like the emphasis on squad combat while still keeping the RPG elements that worked best (the dialogue wheel, exploration, and tech/biotic abilities) makes Mass Effect a well-balanced and stronger product.
The AI of your companions seems improved in combat. I only have one trip through the game under my belt, but the improvement is so exceptional I am assuming it is constant. Your teammates will usually move to cover if they are being attacked and often move up and use different angles intelligently. This is opposed to Mass Effect, where the common strategy was to run into the middle of the area and take fire from every enemy until death. The friendly AI actually is friendly now, instead of a nuisance you have to manage so they cannot screw you over.
The environmental design has expanded. The game areas are now varied graphically and the level design is different in every area. Mass Effect suffered from two or three standard level layouts and designs that were monotonous mere hours into the game.
The graphics look excellent and avoid the old technical hiccups. This point is a good compliment to the new level sections. Really the graphics follow more from the original, which looked nice at the time. Faces in particular are vastly more detailed and well-animated. The framerate holds steady and most importantly the ridiculous texture pop-in from the first game is gone. To be fair, it is present in some instances, but it is hardly noticeable and resolves in a second or less, opposed to the beginning of conversations being marred by it in the original.
The side quests have been fleshed out more. Specifically, each of your squad's "spotlight" missions have received a big upgrade and carry significant consequences depending on how they play out. Various interactive scenes replace the skeleton combat scenario with maybe a choice at the end. Particular highlights include an interrogation, working from within an assassination, and trying to tempt someone from out of hiding and trap them in a nightclub.
It is plain cool to play a game where choices you made in a previous game directly affect everything. Relationship choices, life/death choices, and how you treated the world in general can show up. Fortunately this is somewhat restrained, as you are not given constant updates or appearances from every character or old quest you did, which would feel over-the-top and not befitting the huge universe.
They took out the MAKO. If you've never played Mass Effect, count yourself lucky you missed this. The MAKO was a six-wheeled vehicle that you drove around in during several story missions and in general anytime you dropped from space onto a planet. It had some weapons and often you were tasked with killing enemies while in it. Unfortunately it was badly developed, out of place within the traditional framework, and frustrating as hell to control. Oh, and if you flipped it, your whole party died. It does not matter that this rarely happened, because it happened to everyone at least once, which is ridiculous. It might be hard to understand how annoying it was unless you played the game, but trust me: it being gone is a Martha Stewart-esque good thing.

THE MIDDLE

The story. I never thought Mass Effect's story was anything great, but it got the job done and Mass Effect 2 is the same. There are some serious curves thrown in throughout the opening, but they mostly fade away quickly without discussion. It also suffers from being the middle piece of a trilogy, as you cannot shake the feeling that everything you do is just setup for Mass Effect 3. Still, story has never been the chief goal of these games. Instead, prominence is given to extensive world-building with your ability to shape its outcome through your choices that exist in a now-perpetual world. While saying everything else is window dressing is an overstatement, it still is partially true.
Voice-acting. Some of it is great and some not so much. The male voice for Shepard is still...off. Sometimes the lines come across as terribly overplayed and laugh-eliciting at the wrong moments. Some of that is due to the dialogue, which is overall solid but can still produce some real clunkers. Whoever voiced Zaeed and Mordin are the standouts. The former is basically Boba Fett with lines and the latter is an alien genius geneticist that speaks in rapid-fire minuscule sentences and fragments as he outlines seemingly everything running through his mind at every second.

THE BAD

Resource gathering. Even though they canned the MAKO, this seems like its equally annoying replacement and not in the spirit of the new direction at all. In Mass Effect 2, you purchase upgrades for your ship, your squad, and your weapons by using quantities of four minerals. While you can find varying small amounts of them on missions, the main way to get them is by scanning planets and launching resource nodes. The problem is you need a considerable amount of all four to maximize your upgrades, and this takes hours of time. Basically, you go into a planet's orbit and start scanning by holding the left trigger and moving it around the surface. You have a gauge that will react whenever minerals are detected and then you can send out a probe that collects it. The whole process is time-consuming and boring as hell. Later you can acquire an upgrade that allows you to scan faster, but it is still a pain. It takes you out of the action and the story, but you have to do it to progress in the game. Certainly this is not something that should prevent you from playing the game, but it still grates, and seems like something that would have been in Mass Effect, with its much more varied options for equipment.
Fuel. This sort of relates to resource gathering. Now, in certain parts of star systems, you must purchase fuel in able to move between points. What I fail to get is why only in certain parts and not everywhere. When you jump into new systems you do not need it, nor when you move around in interior clusters or nebula's. You only use it when you move between the clusters, nebula's, or other interior areas of systems. Fuel is thankfully not expensive and can be purchased in most systems at fuel depots, but I cannot understand why you only use it intermittently. In the big picture, this hardly detracts from the game, but it seems misplaced in the stripped down setup.
Cinematic conversations. Now here is a good idea that went awry. The dialogue wheel was such a revelation in Mass Effect that Bioware could be forgiven for making the conversations always between two people that never moved and always stood a foot apart. So now they tried to step up their game and make everything the word I hate to use but which seems most appropriate: "cinematic." The characters will now move around during dialogue and sometimes interact with the environment. This works well for a little while, until you realize there are around four stock expressions and movements anyone will do. You can only watch Shepard crack his knuckles, clench his fist, and my personal favorite, cross his arms across his chest and assume the ultimate suspicious power stance, so many times before it gets irritating. Also stuck on repeat are instances in conversation where a character will get up and move around or examine something during a certain line and then will do the exact same movement with the same angle after they return to their previous position again and again. It gets unintentionally hilarious fast. Good try, and if Mass Effect 2 is any indication at fixing things that need to be, Bioware should get this under control next time.
No customization is no fun. So earlier I said the less customization was an improvement, but on a smaller scale I think they might have taken too much out. While there was an overabundance of equipment in the first game, that mostly stemmed from the game giving you access to it too much, making ninety percent of it pointless. It was still interesting looking through the different manufacturers and mixing equipment with strengths for different characters that had vastly different abilities. That's totally gone in Mass Effect 2. The image of your characters never changes outside of few and far between weapon switches. The characters themselves have had their number of individual powers you can level reduced and the powers are more common among each member. It is certainly not bad enough that every character plays the same, but there has been a significant melding of the vastly different character classes from Mass Effect into two or three simple archetypes. This is certainly a subjective point, as the game is more streamlined for these changes, but I think it removes too much variety as a cost.

The helmet glitch. Okay, here is something incredibly minor to finish up and affects nothing. The game does not recognize when your character is wearing a helmet. Since you keep your armor on constantly unless on your ship, this can create some hilarious moments. Watch in amazement as you take a drink straight through a visor and try not to fall out of your chair when your emotional embrace with your previous love leads her to assault your helmet with her tongue.

So there you go. I'm surprised I actually finished this. I probably left out half of the important things and am wrong about what I did talk about, but what are you going to do?

Liquidity Trap

2010-03-13T02:01:00.003-06:00

I beat Mass Effect 2. Review forthcoming (fingers crossed).

HIS 403: We moved out of the immediate post-war years and into the '50s and '60s. Specific focus on the economic explosion that was supposed to appear and fade quickly but ended up sticking for years, in the West at least. We're going to discuss the importation of foreign workers to fill labor shortages next week, which has much to do with current Europe and its identity crisis problem. The powers also start to lose much of their imperial territory, with decolonization rapidly starting. Looked at the new youth culture and its universal impact not just in Europe but in many parts of the world, coming mostly from the dreaded scourge of America. Relating to that, the "Americanization" of Europe was discussed. On the Eastern side, we focused on how things changed in the Eastern block after Stalin's death. Particular focus on the 1953 uprising in East Germany, the 1956 one in Hungary, and the Prague of Spring of 1968. These were all stopped by direct Soviet intervention. Khrushchev may have wanted to GTFA from Stalin, but he could still get clamp down with the best of them. And in '68 under Brezhnev...well Czechoslovakia probably got off easy, since 'ol Leonid was Uncle Joe Jr. Oh yeah, and Walter Ulbricht, leader of the SED and basically the authoritarian ruler of East Germany, got Nikki's permission to build a big wall in 1961.

And in other HIS 403 news, I've started seriously working on my research paper, focusing broadly on Chechnya. I'm still working out my thesis statement, but I've been lucky to find some good books and especially an excellent journal article that looks at the Chechen Wars from a military/operational standpoint. I want to talk about counterinsurgency some in the paper, so this was a great find. Reading the information and seeing the horrors committed by both sides, you have to feel for the civilians caught in the middle. Just some tidbits: Kidnapping makes up the largest portion of Chechen GDP. The corruption in the Russian military is so high that the number one source of arms and supplies to the Chechen guerrillas is the Russian military. The author of one of the books I'm using, Anna Politkovskaya, was assassinated two years after its publication, as were several of her comrades that worked for or contributed to the activist newspaper she was associated with. Everyone alleged to be connected to the killing was acquitted. And last but not least, the Chechens infamously held an entire theater in Moscow hostage over the occupation in 2002. The Russian government's response? They gassed the building, killing all the terrorists and 130 of their own civilians...

In MMA land, we found out that James Toney will not get to KO Kimbo for his first fight, at least probably not soon. Slice is still set to fight Matt Mitrione, while Toney does not yet have an opponent. Not much of significance from Sengoku 12. Akihiro Gono picked up a decision win over a weak opponent. Maximo Blanco delivered a brutal head-kick knockout. And Jorge Santiago won his rematch against Mamed Khalidov. While not MMA, Manny Pacquiao returns to the boxing ring today against Joshua Clottey. It's not the Mayweather super-fight, but Pac-Man has already achieved legendary status and is must-watch.

Not Some Kind of Sage

2010-03-07T18:29:00.003-06:00

The stars have exploded and I have more material.

At the end of Mass Effect 2, so maybe I can crank that review out next week.

Bought a significant amount of comics for the first time in several years. Hey, how often do you find a booth with everything 50% off AND a good selection? Rarely, and the last place I expected was in the swamp of Metropolis, Illinois. I got every Hellboy trade I didn't have except for one and a BPRD trade. Mondo Mignola.

The only thing I watched this week was Ichi the Killer. Well, I thought for a majority of the film that it was satire and absolutely brilliant, but then towards the end that wavered. There's some duality going on that reshaped what I was thinking. Enjoyable nevertheless. For sure: no one can do pain mixed with...sexual grime or something, quite like Asians.

In HIS 403 we looked at the aftermath of World War II.. Plenty of stuff in there about the Cold War not being a certainty until around 1948 and how Stalin and the other Allies went from a relative consensus to complete opposition. We also talked about De-Nazification and overall punishment towards collaborators, which was basically the Nuremberg Trials...and we're done, Hitler is still a BAMF. The political makeup mirrors the overall relations between the powers. Stalin is all about this Popular Front strategy...until the countries in the east are still so scared of Germany they're like, "Yes, please protect us Russia, communism is gold" and the countries in the west think Stalin sucks. Then it's Blockade time, but America shuts that down in a Berlin minute or a year, take your pick. Stalin wants time to recover, some cooperation, and a ton of territory everywhere. The West has some problems there and so it's time to party like it's 1949 in West Germany. Unlike consumer goods, Stalin wants his own Germany, so it's East Germany to the rescue soon enough. The people in the east get to watch the Social Democratic Party and German Communist party do the authoritarian fusion dance into the SED and we're set for approximately forty years of fun.

Upset central at WEC 47 this past Saturday. I thought people were underestimating Joseph Benavidez, especially with Torres coming off a brutal loss, but even I would've picked the mulleted Mexicano. Torres seemed docile on the feet and while he didn't take much damage on the mat he still got dominated. Jens Pulver may have had a badass walkout shirt, but that couldn't save him from the submission firestorm of Javier Vazquez. Pulver is a legend no matter how many fights he keeps losing but time passed him by long ago. It would've been great to see him get a win and just disappear, but that seems ever more unlikely. In the main event, Brian Bowles never really got anything going against Dominick Cruz, who has some of the most unorthodox striking I've seen. Bowles broke his hand with the first punch he threw, which certainly affected him. I'm assuming Benavidez will get the next shot at Cruz and the 135 belt, in what from here looks like a very interesting matchup between two young guys now at the top of the division.

Dropped

2010-02-28T22:00:00.004-06:00

This week was pretty lackluster in giving me stuff to blog about, but I'm trying to build a routine, so off we go.

Went to a talk by Desmond Tutu, one of the main people responsible for ending apartheid in South Africa. Pretty big name for Murray, Kentucky. I was glad to see so many people there. They had to move it from a mid-size auditorium on campus to the basketball stadium. His theme seemed to be humanity, and how, as Spiked online will tell you, it is underrated. He went after not only the Iraq War but also the one in Afghanistan. You rarely hear someone bring the latter up in the negative. I'm not sure I even agree with him, but it's sort of refreshing. Sadly I had forgotten all the high points by the time I got to my car, after hearing every other person say they couldn't understand him. Wow, you have to LISTEN at a lecture. I guess that message got blocked somehow.

Still playing Mass Effect 2. It's still fun...hey, I warned you.

Attended a research presentation by a graduate student on the role of Stasi informants in East Germany. I have a boner for European affairs anyway, and Germany specifically guarantees a new set of pants. The research was interesting, showing how the methods of the Stasi changed over time and how effective they could be. He also addressed the question of why people, outside of the ones who were compromised in some way, would want to voluntarily work for the Stasi. The answer was many of them simply enjoyed doing intelligence work, which is something I never would have thought of but makes total sense. But of course, nothing can go totally well. Background: Yes, I know the guy who gave the presentation is a graduate student, so he is held to a higher standard, and especially with entering a world so congested as the one of history invites scrutiny. But man, oh man did the professors go after this guy while simultaneously trying to show off how who had read more books. A caveat: The presenter is studying German history, which in the world of historical research, means you damn well better know German or you are an insult to existence. So he has studied the language to the extent that he can interpret official records and oral interviews in German, not to mention he was in Austria for a full semester where he was able, I'm assuming, to accumulate his information across the border. I'm not saying the guy has earned a free pass, but clearly he has put some serious work in. I doubt he did all this so he can fabricate numbers to put into his master's thesis and then go on to change the way we forever look at German history on a complete lie. But sure enough, I'm setting there and a professor asks, "How accurate are your sources?" I might have fainted, I can't remember.

We had a test in HIS 403, so nothing new.

No major MMA action either. The Strikeforce Challengers card told us that Luke Rockhold is probably ready for a step up, maybe onto one of the regular shows, and that Sarah Kaufman can run through someone as over matched as Takayo Hashi any day. Was there anything else interesting? Well, perplexing stuff about Tim Sylvia, who I would think should be glad to still have a career. He apparently turned down a fight with Josh Barnett in Japan. Now obviously Barnett has lost some luster after his 'roid shenanigans effectively killed an entire promotion, but declining that fight, in Japan, where there is no drug testing, against a very region-popular fighter like Barnett seems dumb. Hell, Sylvia is a big guy. Let me put on my stereotype goggles and tell you something: the Japanese love big guys. Sylvia could be the next big thing over there and fight Jose Canseco. Instead, the "Maine-iac" (how could you ever root for someone with that nickname?) is looking at a rematch with Wes Sims. Wes Sims! The guy that just got plowed under by Bobby Lashley while looking like he should be on life support. For God's sake, the fight was already scrapped in Ohio because the athletic commission ruled it uncompetitive. How often do you hear that!? Thankfully there is a megaton of MMA coming up in March, so we can put goofus on the backburner.

Hopefully I can do better next week.

Paperwork

2010-02-22T23:02:00.003-06:00

It's been several months since I did this. I am going to try and do posts with a lot of short items so that it will be easier to try and get momentum. I never posted anything I put much significant effort into, even though not from lack of trying. I was just never happy with any of the longer ideas I had.

I'm a couple hours into Mass Effect 2 and enjoying it. I bought Modern Warfare 2 at the end of last semester, which covered my video game base for around three months. The multiplayer is addicting, but after enough time I just needed a change. I played through a friend's copy of the first Mass Effect and liked it well enough, but it had some substantial flaws. Still, I'm a sucker for Bioware games, specifically their RPG's. Plus, I had a $40 gift card, so I went ahead and bought Mass Effect 2. Speaking of my attempted longer posts, I had a draft of a review of Mass Effect months back, after I played it. Maybe I'll try and do one for ME2 if I get time.

Complaint Department: So I got an all-essay test in my History of Modern East Asia back today and I have some qualms with my grade of an 83. I've never taken one of this teacher's tests before and we weren't provided with a study guide, so I was a little unsure of what to expect. I thought everything went pretty well. I knew the ID terms well enough and I thought I wrote a solid essay for the second part. I lost the most points on my essay, for what I see as mainly superfluous reasons. An example: in my closing paragraph about the Opium Wars and the aftermath, I wrote that Britain now controlled trade in the entire region. My teacher wrote a comment that said, "What region?" Now, clearly I meant East Asia, or what of it was available at the time, since Japan, the other main focus of the class, was still officially closed but starting negotiations with the Americans. I'm going to cut this one short because I just want to keep going and I feel like I'm being...oversensitive, maybe? An 83 is still a B, but China is in a region self evident from the damn title of the class.

Of and on, lately I've been trying to read some comic scans regularly. Previously I had only checked out notable stuff I found on Journalista, most of which was old EC/pulp stuff that is only in print in ridiculously priced hardcovers. The stuff most available is manga, so I'm going to get back into Pluto and 20th Century Boys. I started a little of Vagabond and Blade of the Immortal. The caveat is I still cannot get used to reading comics on a digital screen. I figured the uncomfortableness would fade, but it hasn't. In my last post I was a complaining 15 year old, and in this one I feel like I'm 70.

What did I interpet from UFC 110? Chris Lytle has a ground game, Cro-Cop can't run through over matched opponents anymore, George Sotiropolous is a contender at lightweight, Keith Jardine cannot get anything going, Wanderlei has actually changed his fighting style, and Big Nog could be on the downward slope. Oh, and Cain Velasquez just keeps dominating.

What did I learn in History of Europe Since 1914 last week? We ran through World War II for the whole three hours. Pretty quick treatment, but I know Dr. Pizzo wants to get past the information the majority of the class knows the most amount about. From Mark Mazower's excellent book Dark Continent, we had a chapter discussing the Nazis from 1938-1945. Some good stuff in there about Albert Speer, the later German Minister of Armaments and War Production. He was incredibly smart, didn't blindly listen to Hitler, and managed to bring their war production up to levels where they were actually competitive. The Allies were lucky he wasn't in charge from the beginning. From Benjamin Liberman's Terrible Fate, we looked at the Nazis overall plan for Eastern Europe, focusing mostly on occupied Poland. Smaller sections were devoted to the ethnic cleansing in Hungary, Bulgaria, Romania, the former Yugoslavia, Ukraine and the mass deportations and internments of the USSR. At any spot in Europe, there's probably a decent chance some group was ethnically cleansed during the 20th century, especially in the East. From our regular textbook, we looked at the broad particulars of the conflict, most of which was review for me.

I also attended a lecture from a visiting professor on honor in British India. It was a fairly standard talk, but he did have some interesting photographs from the era. I also got another reminder how brutal the Age of Empire was. After the Sepoy Rebellion of 1857, the British responded in their typical brutal fashion. Hindus traditionally cremate their dead to allow for reincarnation, but a full body is required. Seizing on this, the British took many Hindus and strapped them to the front of cannons and fired them. Christ.

Watched The Hurt Locker. Some excellent, tense action sequences throughout, and not in the traditional way you might be thinking. And yes, the film is apolitical, but it does show the ridiculous facet of fighting a 21st century counterinsurgency and how difficult it is. Very effective character development arc for Jeremy Renner's lead that reveals just enough along the way to keep you wondering until it slams you in the face during the last five minutes.

UFC 105: Lightning Round

2009-11-14T03:31:00.002-06:00

Been a while since I've thrown around predictions, but I'm only going with three most prominent main card fights. I didn't watch Ultimate Fighter Season 9, nor have I ever seen Pearson or Wilks in action, so I'm passing.

Bisping vs Kang - Bisping is looking for a win after being on the receiving end of a likely candidate for knockout of the year, courtesy of Dan Henderson, at UFC 100. Kang is trying to do something he's had trouble with his whole career, string together a series of wins. Bisping is still not in the top mix at 185 lbs, but I still him as the favorite here. I see this being a standup battle that Bisping will control all the way to a unanimous decision win. Kang could make things interesting by trying to put Bisping on his back, where he seemingly never ends up. As long as Bisping avoids dangerous spots on the ground he should be alright.

Swick vs Hardy - Dan Hardy is a guy who has impressed me in both his Octagon fights. He seems to place himself as brawler, but he seems more like a slick counter-striker to me. And I honestly think people are sleeping on him in this fight. Swick has earned the right to be the favorite here, but who of signifigance has he ever beaten? This is his first real test at welterweight and he shouldn't make the mistakes Marcus Davis did if he wants to win. I'm picking Hardy in this one by split decision. Whoever wins should enjoy the moment while they can, before the realization that they have to train to be taken down and worked over for twenty five minutes by GSP in several months.

Vera vs Couture - Eventually Couture is going to lose his tenacious fighting spirit, but he's got a good chance of keeping it going in the main event. Vera dominated in his last fight, albeit in a methodical and lackluster way that won him no fans. He also has a history of cracking under pressure against tougher fighters. Both guys have very good clinches, so look for those exchanges. I would say Couture definitely has the wrestling edge, and even though Vera isn't helpless on the ground, he should have problems with Couture being able to control him. The striking favors Vera, but he might need to be a little looser with his hands than in his last fight to score points and damage, though once again he might worry about getting taken down. While Vera is a young, solid test at his new weight of 205, I still think Randy takes it, by unanimous decision.

Movies

2009-10-01T12:04:00.004-05:00

I reactived my Netflix account, so here's some capsule reviews.

Charley Varrick - 1970s crime picture that was hyped up in the excellent backmatter of Criminal, the Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips comic series everyone should be buying. Great performances by Walter Matthau as the lead bank robber and Joe Don Baker as the hitman put onto him after Varrick ends up with mob money on accident. Story is very well plotted out, with no ridiculous intrusions or characters showing up out of nowhere to solve the problem. If you like crime drama, it's well worth your time.

Blue Velvet - The first David Lynch film I've ever watched. The famous symbolism is actually more blatant than I was expecting and to some might seem ridiculously apparent and lacking in effect. I didn't really have a problem with it and at the time I can see it being totally fresh. Also now potentially stale is the focus on stripping back the idyllic framing of small-town America, but Lynch is smart enough to not go totally overboard into some hard-boiled, over-the-top thriller and instead keeps everything grounded enough to where the unease slowly creeps up on you rather than it being loud and constantly in your face. Oh, and Dennis Hopper's character is really menacing in the best, unpredictable way.

Dr. Strangelove - Peter Sellers is tremendous and the film does a great job of laughing at the complete insanity of the Cold War period and how it could affect the people in positions of power. A great black comedy.

Gattaca - I think this is considered by some to be one of the better, newer sci-fi movies but I just could not get into it. The story breaks down into a really pretentious self-empowerment tale of overcoming, no matter what the odds, don't give up hope, you can't quit! The genetics focus is kind of interesting, but as a consequence of the ever advancing nature of sci-fi (for better or worse), it all seems tame and rehashed. The art style also really bugged me, with this potential near-future technology merged with a retro American vibe that never gets an explanation. The performances seemed flat and didn't do enough to make up for the lackluster other parts.

The Constant Gardener - One of the recent tales that exposes those nasty corporations for their nefarious deeds that shit all over the world and turn us all into mindless trademark machines. Fortunately that predictable and pointless premise is overshadowed by the nuances and reality of the relationship of main players Ralph Fiennes and Rachel Weisz. The film also has a very rough, under-produced feel that helps to reinforce how the film plays out. This might be a thriller, but none of these characters suddenly morph into Jason Bourne so we can see a half-baked shootout. I mean, I like The Fugitive plenty, but enough already. The ending sadly returns to Importantville again so we can show how once we bust one corrupt person, everything will change. Don't pay attention to the legions waiting in line behind him. On actually promoting a message well, the film does prominently showcase the horrors and problems facing Africa without actually screaming it to the rafters.

Blood Simple - The Coen Bros. first movie didn't grab me as all their others I've seen have. It certainly has potential and the story contains their often requisite crazy angles that breaks down into a somewhat standard drama with crime elements. The idiosyncratic characters are toned down quite a bit or completely absent and the humor is relegated to a few sparing moments, though still embedded with the ridiculousness of everyday life that packs their later films. More so than all that is the film seems bogged down, lacking their usual verve and snap. It's by no means bad, but just sort of there. Overall, it failed to really grab me and make me take notice. Would I feel different if it wasn't a production of the two brothers I've come to heartily admire? Probably. As it is, good but they've done better.

Barton Fink - Watching this afterwards, however, was like good ol' Joel and Ethan flicking the lights straight back to bright. While definitive statements from me should be viewed with a skeptical eye and carry little meaning, this is the most postmodern film I've ever seen. So if you were agitated by No Country for Old Men, do not get near this beast. Anger will flourish and rampages will bloom. The plot is set up quickly and never really develops past an initial stage of John Turturro as a playwright reaching out to the common man, lured away by Hollywood. He's excellent as always, as is fellow Coen staple Jon Goodman. If you like heaps of metaphors, allusions, comparisons and reflections on topics ranging from intellectualism, famous writers and fascism, find this thing. I'm sure as hell glad I did.

Planet Terror - I don't see how people can condemn Death Proof while anointing this as hugely superior. Well, I guess I can, and what I'm really saying is I disagree. The big flaw I see is that Rodriguez cared more about making a tribute to the Grindhouse ideal than actually creating a strong overall work, which in a way is the opposite of what Tarantino did. In the face of the praise I just couldn't get past being underwhelmed. There are some good performances and running ideas throughout, like the restaraunt owner who never gets a customer yet still searches for the perfect BBQ sauce and Bruce Willis. Everything else was taken to the extreme, seemingly just to show that they could.

Tell No One - French thriller that resembles a dish of The Fugitive with a small helping of Gone, Baby Gone. While I don't want to sound stupid, this thing is pretty complex, maybe even a bit too much so. A few of the angles are there, but they're straining. It might be a little easier to follow if I could understand the original dialogue, or maybe I'm just a horrible subtitle reader. Either way, this is a quick mover that boasts a great turn from Francois Cluzet in the lead.

Let the Right One In - Believe the hype. I still don't know if I saw the version with the first translation subtitles or the later one, with the "dumbed-down" edits. If this was the latter, even though the former should always be preferred, it doesn't hurt the film enough to matter. While I guess this could be considered a genre film, it has little in the way of bombarding action or mystery. Instead, any sort of set piece comes quick and end quick, leaving you little time to ponder an interpretation of the actions as good or bad until they start piling up and relationships end and begin. In fact, the movie can trick you into thinking things when you're not considering what might really be occurring. Maybe a better word than thinking is believing, or wanting to believe. Even the title gets in on the act. The great thing is, you don't even need to look at the section underneath, and can instead just see a vampire story with enough character and slight twists to make it stand out. In fact, when you do take a look below, what's on the surface might turn irrevocably tragic.

Random

2009-09-26T21:13:00.005-05:00

1. Starting Darren Sproles in place of Thomas Jones in fantasy football this week. With LT out, Sproles is going to have an even bigger workload than last week when he put up over 20 points against the Ravens defense. Jones's weakness is his incosistency, highlighted by a big week one and abysmal week two. Also hurting his value is Leon Washington getting the majority of the work near the goal line. This week the Jets play Tennessee, who have shut down the run so far but been weak against the pass. That could increase his value some, as he traditionally gets close to half or more of his points receiving out of the backfield. Sproles, meanwhile, is facing an improving Miami defense that nontheless likely won't be able to shut down the run as well as the Ravens did. That's why I'm going with Sproles, in my first big decision of the season.

2. I still can't tell if Quinton Jackson is seriously going to retire. Rampage certainly has been prone to rash statements and actions in the past, and this could be just the latest. On the other hand, Jackson has enough of a name and personality to sustain himself without ever stepping back into a cage or ring. From my angle, some of his gripes seem ill-founded and preposterous. Refusing to drop the fans booing him when he beat Liddell got old a long time ago. Rampage has to be one of the popular fighters in the organization now, but he seems to think everyone's against him. Equally hollow is his assertion that his fans saw him as being afraid of Machida. You don't have to be an MMA expert to know Rampage is not going to back down from anyone because he is afraid. For other reasons, like he talks about, sure, but not that. Him bringing up Dana White in particular as a reason is interesting, even though I think White had some ground to voice the opinions he did, even if he did so in his usual irritating, childish way. I'm assuming we won't know anything at least until the A-Team movie is done filming.

3. I love cooperative multiplayer video games. I think it's one of the best new trends emerging in development today. However, not having people you know and are halfway reliable is a huge crutch that needs to be overcome, even though don't ask me to figure it out. Constantly being at the mercy of the host in games where you progress through levels or waves, like in Gears of War 2's Horde Mode or presumably Halo: ODST's Firefight Mode, can get really frustrating when the game suddenly ends and you're back at square one. Like I said, a solution isn't something I can think of. Potentially the players who drop out could receive a penalty of some sorts in-game, but I don't know if that's really the answer because of all that it implies. So somebody else get on it, because I want to play Horde Mode.

UFC 103 Preview

2009-09-10T16:05:00.004-05:00

Later this month UFC 103 will go down in Dallas, featuring the return of a legendary heavyweight trying to resurrect his career and the second catchweight main event in the last five main shows the UFC has held. A few thoughts before the fight breakdowns.

- This is the first time I can remember since following MMA that a promotion is going up against a noteworthy boxing PPV. That is especially significant because Floyd Mayweather Jr., one of the biggest money draws in the sport, is in the main event against Juan Manuel Marquez. The UFC card contains some solid names, but nothing that can compete with Mayweather. So to the surprise of no one, Dana White emerges to blow smoke up the ass of everyone who will listen, claiming that this is not the fight the fans want, citing Pacquiao vs Mayweather as the real fight. I don't follow boxing enough, but that is logically the best possible fight between guys who can hit a common weight. White failed to even remember Marquez's name, despite referencing his background as "a huge boxing guy." Keep in mind Marquez is ranked #2 on Ring's pound-for-pound list, right behind Pacman, who he's given two good showing efforts against despite losing both times. So while Marquez doesn't have mainstream recognition, he is a very legitimate threat to Mayweather and the next best opponent after Pacquiao. White is insinuating that the UFC always gives the fans the big fights they want. Sadly, you have to look no further than Anderson Silva, the UFC's big gun, to find lackluster matchups. Patrick Cote and Thales Leites are both names that would not set the fires alight in the eye of the casual fan if they had them at point blank range with a flamethrower. His most recent fight against Forrest Griffin provided a bigger name, albeit one that was hopelessly overmatched. White later goes on to dismiss Mayweather basically as a defensive fighter who spends his time running and not engaging. Don't let those similar phrases being applied to Anderson Silva up until the Griffin fight distract you from the gospel according to DW. White does come up with one good point by the end, that being how most boxing PPV's can be hollow purchases, offering up only a few decent fights. However, the UFC is always only putting on quality fights, says White. To an extent this is true, but I think it owes more to the unpredictability and multiple outcomes inherent in the sport than some intrinsic quality that comes with the letters UFC. Boxing is a business and so is MMA. White knows this, and if he could tone down his Herculean-hype sometimes he'd probably reduce some of his detractors.

- Rich Franklin fighting again at the 195 catchweight after his win over Wanderlei Silva at UFC 99 comes across as a mixed signal. The UFC has been quick to denounce talk over there being an actual division created at 195, but here it pops up again. Franklin has said if it did exist it would be his new home but whether or not any other fighters feel the same in unknown. The conflicting actions by the UFC probably contribute to this, because until they come up with something concrete, everything is speculation. I'm also not sure if Franklin would be enough to carry the division if it did come to fruition. I personally think less divisions mean higher competition and more meaningful fights within them, but I also am not against additions or catchweight fights. The problem with catchweights is it can undermine the divisional structure in some instances. If Franklin does eventually move up to 205, it would be interesting to see how he fit into the mix in the wake of his results at 195. Would he get a title shot sooner assuming he secured wins or would he have to wait longer? With the UFC eventually adding the bantamweight and featherweight classes, it will be interesting to see where they go with 195.

Now that those diatribes are done, we can move onto the predictions. Nothing on the undercard really stood out to me, so I just did the five main card bouts.

Tyson Griffin vs Hermes Franca - With Kenny Florian coming up short in his bid for the lightweight belt against BJ Penn and Diego Sanchez next in line, the division really has no one that stands out from the large mix of competitors, with the possible exception of Gray Maynard. Griffin and Franca both hope to take the first step towards gaining that vacant status. Griffin had reeled off four straight wins until he ran into Sean Sherk at UFC 90 before bouncing back with a win over Rafeal dos Anjos at Fight Night 18. Franca has been on the shelf since October of 2008, nursing a torn ligament in his knee. I'm expecting Griffin to dominate the fight from every position. Franca is a decent opponent but he has historically had trouble with strong wrestlers like Sean Sherk and Frankie Edgar. I'm predicting Griffin keeps that tradition going.

Prediction - Griffin by Unanimous Decision

Josh Koscheck vs Frank Trigg - Trigg makes his return to the UFC after a four year absence against top welterweight Koscheck, himself trying to get back into the title mix after an equally devastating and surprising knockout loss to Paulo Thiago back in February. Trigg has won four straight, but against very light competition and all by lackluster decision. He's one of several older fighters past their prime but still active the UFC has recently picked up. Like fellow return signee Mark Coleman, the UFC has thrown Trigg to the wolves in his first fight back. Koscheck is superior in every aspect and should rout Trigg early and claim a stoppage victory.

Prediction - Koscheck by TKO

Martin Kampmann vs Paul Daley - Originally slated to be Kampmann vs Mike Swick to determine the next opponent for Georges St. Pierre's welterweight title, Daley was moved up from the preliminaries after Swick was injured. Daley had been scheduled to fight on the Affliction: Trilogy card and signed with the UFC afterwards, adding another popular British fighter to their ranks. Kampmann has won two straight since he dropped to 170 and looks to be on the fast track to a title shot. He needs to be cautious of Daley's striking, which has netted him every stoppage win on his record. Kampmann might look to put Daley onto the ground where he was quickly overwhelmed in his fight with Jake Shields after looking good on the feet. Even with the better standup, I don't see him overwhelming the very well-rounded Kampmann.

Prediction - Kampmann by Submission

Mirko "Cro-Cop" Filipovic vs Junior dos Santos - With all the drama behind Cro-Cop's contract negotiations over, he now looks to resurrect his career and reclaim the magic of the PRIDE days against dangerous fellow striker dos Santos. To put it bluntly, Cro-Cop has not looked good despite winning three of his last four against the dregs of the worldwide heavyweight crop. dos Santos will be a stern test and should show if Cro-Cop's UFC return has any legitimate weight. He's dispatched his last two opponents in just over two minutes and I'm expecting Cro-Cop to sadly suffer a similar, if slightly elongated, fate.

Prediction - dos Santos by TKO

Rich Franklin vs Vitor Belfort - Of all the returning fighters the UFC has plucked, Belfort looks to have the biggest upside. His hand speed has reemerged with his power to potentially allow him to win a fight with one punch. Like Trigg, however, Belfort is matched straight up with a top level fighter in Franklin. I can see Franklin respecting Belfort's stand-up and staying on the outside and scoring with methodical, pinpoint striking of his own on the way to a decision victory. Belfort has room to challenge him though, especially if Franklin slows down like he did in his last fight with Wanderlei Silva. Whatever the result, I hope Belfort stays prominent and can eliminate the consistency issues that have plagued him in the past. His explosiveness could turn him into one of the most dangerous fighters in the UFC.

Prediction - Franklin by Unanimous Decision

Recapping UFC 102

2009-09-02T01:21:00.003-05:00

I'm going to skip most of the undercard because the majority of the bouts didn't contain noteworthy fighters or spotlight guys to keep watch on.

Gabriel Gonzaga vs Chris Tuchscherer - Gonzaga once again proved he's the guy you send in to destroy overmatched opponents. He'll now likely step up in competition once again and hope to get his first meaningful win since he knocked out Mirko "Cro-Cop" Filipovic over two years ago. He always seems one win away from really being a contender in the UFC's weak heavyweight division.

Aaron Simpson vs Ed Herman - These two went at it close to nonstop until Ed Herman's knee injury ended things early in the second round. The loss keeps Herman in the gatekeeper role, while Simpson's strong performance and remaining undefeated keep him as a solid prospect in the middleweight ranks.

Brandon Vera vs Krzysztof Soszynski - Vera was originally slated to face Matt Hamill, but an injury allowed Soszynski to step in late, making this his third fight in five months. There was little action and Vera comfortably cruised to a decision. The win does little for him though. Despite a dominating effort against a game, rising opponent, Vera still lacks quality wins at light heavyweight, even though his competition should now rise. Soszynski loses little, as he was a replacement that hasn't faced the level of fighters Vera has.

Chris Leben vs Jake Rosholt - Something of a minor upset? Leben hadn't fought in nine months due to a steroid suspension, so ring rust is going to be a factor. None of his haymakers connected and he had few answers for Rosholt's superior wrestling, eventually falling prey to an arm triangle. Leben's comeback fight being spoiled deters any advancement in the congested tier of decent middleweights. Rosholt, after losing to Dan Miller in his first UFC bout, secures his place in the organization.

Nate Marquardt vs Demian Maia - Maia's run as one of the hottest prospects got stamped out by Marquardt, who needed just 21 seconds and a single punch to put the first blemish on the jiu-jitsu ace's record. Maia has been working on his standup with Wanderlei Silva, but he looked strikingly similar to Shinya Aoki in his last fight, trying to downplay his obvious strength in favor of looking and/or actually being more well-rounded. Aoki got a win because he was more active against a fighter whose standup was equally as limited. Unfortunately for Maia, Marquardt is one of the handful of elites in the UFC's middleweight crop and dangerous from any position. Given the short time the match and its quick end, it's hard to tell if Maia was simply overwhelmed or whether his point of attack was wrong. Whatever the case, Marquardt solidified his position for a rematch with Anderson Silva. The Brazilian's camp oddly floated talk that suggested a title eliminator with Marquardt and Silva's once expected next challenger Dan Henderson. Whatever occurs, Marquardt stands a much better chance than "The Spider's" last two opponents.

Thiago Silva vs Keith Jardine - Going into this, I predicted that Silva would either dispatch Jardine quickly or the Team Jackson fighter would frustrate and execute a patented gameplan en route to a decision over the American Top Team fighter like he did over Chuck Liddell. Silva's power proved too much for Jardin'e suspect chin under two minutes into round one. With two losses in a row for the first time in his UFC career, Jardine is in danger of getting left behind in the stacked 205 lb. division. Silva, meanwhile, regains his footing after failing to solve the puzzle that is Lyoto Machida back in January. Expect nothing but quality opponents with title ramifications in the explosive Brazilian's future.

Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira vs Randy Couture - I was fairly skeptical of this matchup going in, but the results proved better than I ever would have expected. Both fighters showed that the recent talk of them being near the end of their careers was premature. Nogueira's superhuman-esque ability to absorb damage returned, while Couture himself survived several knockdowns and submission attempts en route to losing an entertaining unanimous decision. The performances bode well for a UFC heavyweight division that severely lacks depth. Nog is likely right back into the title picture, maybe next against the winner of the Cain Velasquez/Ben Rothwell fight. Whoever is next for Couture in the wake of his new contract will be a big fight based on "The Natural's" name alone, though I really have no idea who the UFC will line up.

Whatever Happened to the Fighters of Tommorow?

2009-08-25T22:17:00.002-05:00

Putting aside all Alan Moore-scripted Superman tales (for what it's worth, I enjoyed What Do You Get for the Man Who Has Everything much more), this is a list of fighters who have disappeared off the main stage of MMA. Some are set to make returns while others are still eluding the search parties.

1. Chris Leben - The bad boy turned "saint" has been absent from the octagon since his October 2008 loss to Michael Bisping. That fight was postponed three months after Leben got arrested stemming from a warrant out on him for a past DUI offense. He followed that up by testing positive for steroids after the Bisping fight, resulting in a nine month suspension. The guy just can't get ahead. Nevertheless, Leben is set to return the soonest of all our entrants, this weekend at UFC 102 against Jake Rosholt on the undercard. Fans of Bruce Buffer's pronunciation of Oahu, Hawaii take note.

2. Alistair Overeem - Possibly the fighter with the most rumored bouts in the past year, Overeem has yet to actually compete in MMA since a thrashing of the never ending tragedy that is Gary Goodridge on a smaller show in his home base of the Netherlands this past November. Following that, he briefly messed around in K-1, where he was undone by his immortal enemy, consistency, when he followed up an impressive win over then Heavyweight Champion Badr Hari on New Year's Eve with a loss to Remy Bonjasky in March. Over that period, everything under the sun has promised to include him with no result. Dana White talked of bringing him to the UFC. A rematch with Mirko "Cro-Cop" Filipovic seemingly loomed on the horizon after their no-contest previously in DREAM. The latest was when a hand injury forced him out of the biggest of them all, his first defense of the Strikeforce Heavyweight Title against solid contender Fabricio Werdum on Strikeforce's August 15th show. Then talk shifted of him fighting Fedor Emelianenko after his Strikeforce signing, assuming the Russian would get an immediate title shot. However, Strikeforce officials have been cautious about that occurring, wanting instead to try and hype that fight, a dangerous proposition in a sport as unpredictable as MMA. While he's had trouble stringing together victories, Overeem is one of the few very well rounded heavyweights and can make a compelling matchup against anyone.

3. Dustin Hazelett - Kid Jiu-Jitsu looked to be submitting towards the elite in the welterweight division when a devastating ACL tear put him on the shelf indefinitely prior to his UFC 96 contest with Ben Saunders. Expected to be out for more than a year, good news surfaced this week when he was announced as the opponent for the high caliber Karo Parisyan, himself coming back from a steroid suspension. Hopefully the injury has fully healed and Hazelett can bring his exciting ground game back to a stagnant crop of UFC welterweights.

4. Alexsander Emelianenko - While older brother Fedor has moved increasingly into the American market after the collapse of PRIDE, Alexsander has been stalled by various issues that have kept him fighting on minor shows mainly in Russia. He was expected to compete on the first Affliction show, but was denied a license by the California State Athletic Commission at the eleventh hour, attributed by him to a simple deadline mistake. In the aftermath, a prominent CSAC official stated that Emelianenko would not be allowed to fight anywhere in America, likely owing to something more than time conflicts. Affliction attempted to secure him for their second event, but once again he was denied a permit. Whether or not this is something that can be solved in the future is unknown, but Emelianenko hasn't made any move towards the Japanese promotions that would seem to be the next best place. Instead, he's slated to appear on another M-1 event in Korea this September against lackluster competition.

5. Goran Reljic - I haven't seen many more tantalizing debuts than Reljic's at UFC 84. He was the new and improved "Cro-Cop": a Croatian striker that had vicious kicks but with submission skills. His fight with Wilson Gouveia turned into one hell of an entertaining slugfest, with both fighters seemingly seconds from being finished before Reljic scored the TKO victory and picked up the "Fight of the Night" award. His second fight was scheduled for UFC 90 against Thales Leites, but a back injury in training forced him out. Little has surfaced about Reljic since then. A May report said he had undergone back surgery and had begun minor training, but nothing has come out since then, even though he is still apparently under contract with the UFC.

6. Roger Huerta - "El Matador" was riding a sixteen fight win streak heading into his August 2008 showdown with Kenny Florian. Coming off a resilient win over Clay Guida, this was Huerta's chance to prove he was a top contender. Unfortunately he was dominated by Florian and was expected to move back down into the sludge of the UFC's lightweight division. Instead, he's been inactive for almost exactly a year. Huerta caught Cung Le disease (who should be on this list now that I think about it) and said he wanted to move into acting, which has culminated in a role in the Tekken movie (oh yes). He was also critical of the policies of the UFC during media tours, which drew the predictable backlash from Dana White and led many to believe Huerta had been effectively blacklisted since he only had one fight left on his contract. However, in true Tito Ortiz style (I guess that doesn't really work now since he's returning), Huerta will at least fulfill his contract when he faces the surging Gray Maynard at Fight Night 19.

UFC 91

2008-11-17T23:14:00.002-06:00

Here's some odds and ends thought about this past weekend's UFC card.

Jorge Gurgel vs Aaron Riley: Gurgel is quickly becoming one of the funniest fighters to watch, if only to hear Joe Rogan constantly lament his refusal to use his black belt jiu-jitsu. His fights usually aren't' boring, but when you keep losing to guys like Aaron Riley progress becomes unattainable. Trust me, between booing within seconds of no engagement and the ridiculous "USA" chants, being a fan favorite is probably the last thing I would care about.

Gabriel Gonzaga vs Josh Hendricks: Can you say outclassed? Another quick win against low competition. Yay heavyweight division.

Demian Maia vs Nate Quarry: Outclassed strikes again. At this point Maia is the shining light in the middleweight division held hostage by Anderson Silva. He's beaten the gatekeepers, now let's see him against the elite.

Dustin Hazelett vs Tamdan McCrory: Hazelett made a believer out of me with his once again impressive ground work. I thought he might have been somewhat over-hyped, especially with the knockout loss to Koscheck, but he completely neutralized McCrory and got another submission victory. Interested to see who they match him against next.

Kenny Florian vs Joe Stevenson: So maybe outclassed was a theme. I had Florian winning this but I didn't expect such a dominant performance. He deserves the title shot.

Randy Couture vs Brock Lesnar: Going in, I had no idea what would happen in the supposed "Biggest Fight in UFC History." Couture worked his usual clinch-boxing style to decent results while it lasted, but Lesnar's incredible power ended it with one punch. I thought if Lesnar couldn't finish Herring he couldn't put Couture away. I'm interested to see if he'll be the first to KO Nogueira, assuming Nogueira wins against Mir, which I think he will. A Lesnar/Mir rematch might have a decent storyline, but you couldn't get me to care.

Hellboy: Wake the Devil

2008-07-14T23:31:00.003-05:00

This is the second collected volume in the Hellboy series, even though a footnote tells me chronologically it falls after another story that is in the third book that contains shorter tales. Nevertheless, it's still early on in the shown career of "The World's Greatest Paranormal Investigator" and some of those crazy Russians and Germans show up for another go round. John Byrne, who scripted the first volume, Seed of Destruction, is absent this time, setting up Mignola on words and pictures. And he does a fine job. His dialogue is better than Byrne's, but his sequencing of events is a little shaky. There's quite a lot going on in Wake the Devil, and some of it has a lot less impact than maybe was intended. In particular, Mignola seems to have trouble doing anything with the supporting cast of the BPRD. Abe Sapien and Liz Sherman are joined by a couple of dead men walking. One of them sports and eye patch, and he blemishes the mystique of said accessory by dying. It's a sure thing that Nick Fury, Snake Plissken and Molotov Cocktease are disgusted beyond belief. But anyway, they basically get into trouble that doesn't concern anything in the greater story nor do those events get developed. It's a weak spot that fortunately doesn't blemish a strong overall work. The back story of Rasputin and some of the Nazis he worked with is expanded and tied into Mignola's version of folklore like Dracula and the Baba Yaga. It all comes together in an explosive finale that sees Hellboy more informed of his true purpose. And let's not forget the artwork. At this point Mignola had refined his style enough to where he was completely unique. While his stories do have some Jack Kirby in them, it's in his drawings that you can clearly see the King's influence. The blocky figures and black dots are joined by his excellent use of black space and shadow, able to create suspense and set an eerie mood. It's perfect for the stories he's telling of Victorian castles, monsters in dark depths and pulp heroes and villains. Overall, Wake the Devil is another impressive foray into the Hellboy universe, and I can't wait to dive in further.

Reflecting on UFC 86...

2008-07-08T20:57:00.004-05:00

...where I tell you things you already know. Warning: my recollections are a bit hazy on some of this, memory is not my greatest asset.

Tyson Griffin vs Marcus Aurelio: Griffin delivered his signature performance, a solid showing without being able to finish the the durable Aurelio. He shouldn't worry about not getting a knockout or submission, he's exciting enough. Aurelio looked pretty rough, and might be in the twilight of his career at 34. That win over Gomi is fading out faster than ever.

Chris Lytle vs Josh Koscheck: Mr. Kos, the guy everyone loves to hate, went back to the wrestling well and prevented Lytle from doing anything in addition to opening a huge cut that had both fighters and the octagon covered in blood. Despite a recent KO of Dustin Hazelett, Koscheck probably stood little chance of stopping Lytle, so smart plan equals boring fight.

Joe Stevenson vs Gleison Tibau: Nice guillotine in the second is all I remember. Stevenson is the choke king of the UFC.

Patrick Cote vs Ricardo Almeida: This turned monotonous after the first round, which had Almeida looking dominant on the ground as expected. After that he couldn't get a takedown, and Cote kept him at bay with just enough aggression to get the split decision. Neither of these guys looked like anything more than cannon fodder for Anderson Silva, should he stay and defend at middleweight. Let's hope Yushin Okami gets in there first.

Forrest Griffin vs Quinton Jackson: Nothing like a good fight ending with some controversy.

Lambo's Armchair Scorecard

Round 1: Jackson 10-9. The uppercut that almost finished it give this one to Rampage.

Round 2: Griffin 10-8. Here's a good example of why the judging system needs clarification. The leg kick seriously hurt Jackson, enough to where he basically got laid on the entire round and did nothing but somewhat defend himself. Griffin certainly was in complete control the whole time but did very little damage. Since it was effectively domination for close to five minutes, I think 10-8 is appropriate. I'm sure many other people disagree, and I wish there was more of a consensus on these things, even though I'm no judge. I will say, out of the all the fights I've seen, this was the only one where I instantly thought it would be 10-8.

Round 3: Jackson 10-9. Now here's where a personal belief comes in. Maybe this comes from me previously being a boxing fan, but I think that if there is a real close round the champ gets it. The challenger has got to get in there and show he is definitively better. I don't think Griffin showed that, so I score it for Jackson. Griffin was landing more, but Jackson was landing harder. Tough to call.

Round 4: Jackson 10-9. Another close round. Griffin certainly scores for a good triangle attempt, but Jackson had him defending the rest of the time, even though he didn't do that much damage. While not as close as the third round, I return to my champ philosophy again and go with Jackson.

Round 5: Griffin 10-9. I think this was clearly Forrest's round. He finished strong and threw aggressively as he had been while Jackson didn't do enough to really make up for it.

My final score is 47-47, the good ol' draw.

Alas, that's not how it turned out. Griffin got the unanimous decision and the light heavyweight belt, along with a chorus of boos from the crowd, which took me by surprise. I figured he would be who the majority were rooting for? I also don't get the hate for Griffin, who I see as a fighter who uses his drive and tenacity to make up for the skills and experience he may lack. I was pulling for Rampage, but the fight was close and decisions can go every which way, so I don't think he was robbed. Interesting to see if there will be an immediate rematch. I kind of doubt it, as there are so many interesting matchups at 205 that possibly putting Rampage in an eliminator against someone else while having Griffin defend once might set up the rematch (if things worked out) more effectively. But that's just my opinion, and I'm as much of a match maker as I am a judge.

Other notes: If not for the great main event, Jorge Gurgel vs Cole Miller would've been fight of the night. While neither are looking like title contenders at this point, they matched up well, putting on a standup show, with Gurgel getting the better of the exchanges, until he got sloppy late and got caught in a triangle. He held on for quite some time, but tapped with only eighteen seconds left in the third round. Good fight and great finish by Miller. Also, Gabriel Gonzaga got back on track with a first round submission over the outclassed Justin McCully. Gonzaga is one of the few legitimate contenders in the UFC's heavyweight crop, but they're running out of guys to match him against. Possibly Cheick Kongo if he wins next month?

Dapple

2008-07-05T01:29:00.004-05:00

That post about Ron Paul sucked so I deleted it, and the Iron Fist review I wrote below is bad, but I left it up because some of the other things are okay. Also deleted a six paragraph draft I had brewing about cross promotion in MMA. I sure do have high standards for my one reader (hey Chris!). And the second part of this post is going to be close to unreadable, so read at your own peril.

But up first, I'm going to complain about stuff that doesn't make sense, at least to me. Several years ago I saw two articles in the local paper that completely contradicted each other and left me wondering what the hell is happening. First article says the overwhelming majority of people they surveyed don't support gay marriage. Then, right next to that, there's an article that says the overwhelming majority of people they surveyed dont' want to put a ban on gay marriage. Now I'm sure different groups of people were surveyed and maybe even in different areas but what a great choice of articles to place together. WE DON'T LIKE THAT CRAP BUT WE DON'T HATE IT ENOUGH TO STOP IT FOR GOOD...sorry gay people, have fun in eternal limbo or move to Canada, cause nothing changed. Or get to California. Isn't it great when the states get a hair up their ass and do whatever they want sometimes? And then it all gets overturned a month later, but still, fun while it lasted. Always seems to happen in the golden state, which makes it great when you're at the supermarket looking for the right brand of frozen orange juice and you hear discussion like, "CALIFORNYA has done nothing but destroy AMERICAN values and provide a breeding ground for sinners. Did you see where Jesus killed more Chinese cause they don't like him?" I bring up gay marriage cause there's this parallel that only I can see with how people view "da govament". When things are going great everybody wants the government to eat shit and not exist. But then when something goes wrong we come running! "Gas is $87 dollars a gallon, why doesn't the government do something for once and lower the gas price and help everybody by reaming the oil companies." Hey kids, good news, gas is down to $2 a gallon, but we think we're gonna look into some environmental regulations the oil companies might've broken that could result in fines. "NOW WAIT A MINUTE, YOU AIN'T GOT NO RIGHT TO TELL THEM HONEST, HARD WORKING ENTREPENEWERS WHAT THEY CAN'T DO. ANY MONEY THEY MAKE SHOULD BE THEIRS, AND NOT GO TO SOME WELFARE CHECK TO BUY DOPE WITH!" Wow, this got unreadable fast, but it was fun.

Now here's a comic series that I don't like for reasons I probably can't explain well and may not prove to be valid. And by series I mean issues one and two of Ultimates 2, because I couldn't force myself through any more. It's superheroes, but they're in the real world!

HOLY SHIT, THE REAL WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111112222222233333444445555555666666666777777

But wait mom, that doesn't really make sense does it? I mean, there aren't super soldiers or Norse gods running around outside. And guess what, ol' Johnny's right, there aren't! Don't tell Mark Millar though, because his whole foundation of life will crumble. In this real world, all the main characters are arrogant douchebags who talk a bunch, which makes drying paint look fascinating. Chief among them is Stalwart Steve Rogers, who is such a dumb prick in here it makes me want to run anywhere that has the Brubaker series and just masturbate fervently to its' contents. "People swearing is bad, all girls dress like whores, oh look, stereotypical thug black whippersnappers made a comment at me so this effectively placed cutaway shot will imply that I gave em' a whoopin cause I is awesome and they is dumz, lawlz." They've should've kept this asshole on ice. "Hey Thor, you have different opinion like Nazis and hang out in your opium rave den, so I will respond with punch." Oh but he's stopped by some obvious hipster protester Green Peace asshat who starts a beer assault on him...well sure. And I thought we couldn't get much lower than this A doesn't stand for suck. Here comes Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, on vacation floating through Italy. Then they get a phone call so they can show off their super snobbery, and imply that they like Europe, where everyone is a liberal cancer and should be thankful they exist because of Uncle Sam, but the guy that writes this is Scottish. Oh and Oprah is mentioned, and Tony Stark is on Larry King, because they're REAL PEOPLE IN THE REAL WORLD THAT THIS TAKES PLACE IN STARBUCKS. So to recap: superheroes are real, Captain America is written as a symbol of American elitism and arrogance and Pietro and Wanda are even bigger dipshits than the other people, cause they are all arty and hang out in Venice or something. So see, you can't single anyone out because they're all unrelatable AND unlikeable. Oh and Cap is teh narrowminded cause he thinks gods are dumb and he is a sucker cause he goes to church WHAT THE FUCK MARK MILLAR?

Good thing I only paid ten dollars for all thirteen issues, here I come ebay!

Comics Come Forward

2008-05-09T01:24:00.003-05:00

DC Universe #0 (or whatever the official title is): Prior to this I had practically given up on DC, but Final Crisis has me excited because I long ago drank the Morrison kool-aid and now hang on the man's every word (plus JG Jones on art and not someone like Howard Porter is cause for celebration). So in turn, I was ready for this to set the stage and hopefully fill me in on anything I needed to know. Instead I see snapshots of future books, some of which are related to Final Crisis and some that aren't. We get a little recap of past Crisis action and then it's on to the first preview, a Superman book. Big splash page and then stuff I don't understand. I don't have the comic here to give it a second look, so I'm assuming this ties into current Superman stories or DC universe continuity? Well, Geoff Johns and George Perez can do this one without me. Not a great start. Next up it's Batman, a book I'm still behind on. Batman and the Joker talk...and that's it. Morrison throws in plenty of symbolism, but as the tease for the actual story it doesn't work. Someone is after Batman...WOWZA KIDS! After this I just flipped through Frank Miller's Wonder Woman, a Green Lantern piece I didn't even want to attempt, something with the Spectre and then we get to the last story, the actual Final Crisis to-do. And it's easily the best thing in here because stuff is shown happening. We get Libra grouping villains up to worship what looks like Darkseid, and then a little Barry Allen bit at the end, all positioned around the scene of a figure falling through realities. It gets the job done. But overall, this wasn't the greatest idea of all time from DC, or maybe it would be better to say what the material they included wasn't the greatest. Also, what is up with the art? No one is credited in their story, which makes sense given that they're only three pages, but I have no idea who drew some of this. JG Jones is listed but it's not him on the last story or, to my eyes, anywhere else. I have no idea what Carlos Pacheco did either. In the end, this is the kind of thing DC seems to always be able to produce: something that irritates me. I'm still looking forward to Final Crisis, no thanks to this garbage.

Immortal Iron Fist #14: Kind of a disappointment. After the previous issue that contained people talking and not punching each other, we get the big explosive finale where the creators make you reflect that this book's run almost got you pregnant, sex be damned! Alas, it goes out not with a supernova, but with a firecracker. First off, David Aja is nowhere to be found. It seems like after about the tenth issue he just disappeared. Not that the art in his stead is terrible, but Aja had been doing some really nice work. Well anyway, all the subplots have to be resolved, and since way too many had been put in motion, we have to spend quite some time dealing with them. Which wouldn't be a problem, except most of these don't resolve around people getting kicked in the face, which was something I could usually count on from this book (issue #13 must have started a bad trend). It just takes all the things that should be awesome, like Danny Rand going DBZ on a bullet train and the Heroes for Hire destroying people, and takes all the energy out of them. And then it's over, with a small tidbit about what could be ahead in future stories, sans Fraction and Brubaker. But maybe it's a more fitting ending than I think. The book was always somewhat inconsistent, a little more as it went on. But it always had crazy parts that made me smile. And while this has been a fairly negative review, I'd by lying if the Immortal Weapons each getting their one panel with their ridiculously named attacks didn't have me grinning. Go Bride of Nine Spiders, go.

All-Star Superman #10: Here we go. I'll be honest, issue #9 had me nervous. It didn't really do much for the overall story, even though it kept to the overall established themes (plus the Steve Lombard sequence made my life). But Morrison pulls out all the stops here and presents what I'd argue is the best issue of the series yet. Superman goes about getting everything in order as he gets closer to death, which just leads to so many great moments, like applying the cure for cancer, cloning his DNA and finally finding a place for Kandor. Then there's the panel where he saves the goth girl, which would probably be ridiculed to the rafters if it had happened anywhere else, but in this book, it's just pure gold, no cheese at all. And then we get the universe creation and it's just ALL SO AWESOME! Whoo, I got worked up there. Oh and it's drawn by Frank Quitely, who's...well...the greatest superhero artist of his generation (if not all time). There, I said it!

UFC 83

2008-04-23T00:14:00.003-05:00

Mark Bocek vs Mac Danzig: Nothing wrong with this one, as Bocek showed off his wrestling but couldn't produce much offense and eventually just took too much punishment. Danzig sure did take his time finishing it, but I suppose there's nothing wrong with being careful. He's a personal favorite of mine, stemming from his time on Ultimate Fighter where he stood out from the usual bushido lunatics.

Michael Bisping vs Charles McCarthy: All I remember about this is that McCarthy didn't do much and then decided to stand and take rapid fire punishment until he couldn't come out for the second round. I still don't think Bisping is up there with the elite, but dropping down to middleweight could change that. This was certainly a better performance than his last two fights, albeit against lesser competition.

Nate Quarry vs Kalib Starnes: Well what can I say that hasn't been said already? Starnes claims he broke his foot, which I find hard to believe because he moved on it for close to fifteen minutes after the supposed break. While I usually don't care for the actions Quarry performed near the end, I can't bring myself to really exclaim any disgust. What a horrible fight, and now Starnes is gone from the UFC.

Rich Franklin vs Travis Lutter: I can't really be objective here, because I dislike Lutter, and him coming out to Nickleback only solidified my feelings. When people say things like, "I was winning that fight the whole way until I lost", I really don't know what to say. Fortunately, Franklin pulled an awesome escape from an armbar and then just pummeled Lutter, who looked like he seriously gassed. Franklin is in a bad spot in the division, because he can't fight Silva again but he's clearly the most deserving of a title shot.

Georges St. Pierre vs Matt Serra: Total domination is pretty close. Serra had nothing in this fight. He got taken down at will and couldn't work anything on the ground, and his stand-up which won him the first fight was nowhere to be found. GSP is obviously now the best in the world at 170 and top five pound for pound. I could see an Anderson Silva-like period coming up, where he completely reigns over the division.

In other MMA news, Chuck Liddell is off UFC 85, which must contain the most cursed main event ever. With Mauricio Rua and Liddell now injured, Rashad Evans will get a new opponent. Too bad every other top light heavyweight is slated to fight in the coming months. The card didn't look too good to begin with and this only worsened matters.

So...Much...Happening!

2008-04-15T20:44:00.003-05:00

Information overkill is here. Communication and technology advances have made it so that anyone, anywhere, can know precisely what is going on with regards to practically any subject. Is this good or bad? Certainly the existence of so many possible opinions can open up many more avenues of discussion. Any online news gatherer will have countless reports on any one story. Not to mention all the new voices brought about by online forums, blogs etc. All these different sources can contain radically different opinions. But then comes the issue of where you pay attention. Do you try and find a single service that you feel is reliable, informative and unbiased? Or do you scan from site to site, thinking more about the general picture than any one specific author? Not to mention, in the era of everyone being able to say their piece, whose is really worth it? Let's face it, not everyone is an expert on the global food crisis or the recent Italian elections, myself included. However, it's funny how people who don't really understand the basics of an issue can help you perceive the particulars. So even in ignorance you find value. Other aspects include the lessening of local information mattering as much when we operate on such a global scale now and the saddening reality that even though more information is easily available, plenty of people are still greatly uninformed by choice or by extraneous circumstances. The amount of knowledge being released every day is completely exponential. This is one of a number of interesting 'problems' that have cropped up as we've hit stride in the twenty-first century. Right now we're in more of a transitional phase and it's likely by the time it's finished, I'll be dead. Maybe from info overload.

Sequential Shenanigans

2008-04-09T23:06:00.004-05:00

Over the past three months I lost track of any concept of new comics releases and unfortunately I'm still not caught up. I'm an issue behind on Iron Fist and Punisher and two or more back with Captain America, Daredevil, Batman and Brave and the Bold. The ones I've missed several issues of are ones I generally enjoy, but they don't have me running to the store. Let's take a look.

Captain America - Whenever I think of this title under Brubaker, I think of one word: solid. The writing is always good and you can tell these stories are planned out because the execution is always spot-on. That said, the consistency can lower my excitement because I already know what I'm going to get. On the other side is a book like Iron Fist, which probably isn't as dependable from a craft standpoint but always bursts with the mad ideas that make it work. Another problem I have is the coloring. Everything I've seen from Frank D'Armata has been the same blurry mess that obscures just enough to piss me off. The pencils from Epting and Perkins are once again "solid". But, the fact that they have such a similar style adds to my feelings of
seeing the book before I ever read it. I know a large part of this comes from the book being close to three years old. Still, this is a very solid book that Brubaker has made completely into an espionage/action mold. I just need to complain about something.

Daredevil - I can't even remember the last thing that happened when I read this. Mr. Fear was still around, which was issue 100 at the earliest. Like Captain America this book is always a decent read, but I always go for the Super Soldier first. I think a lot of that has to do with Cap being a book that Brubaker has been in total control of from the start. With Daredevil he had to deal with material that was there before he started, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but from his planning on Cap I'd like to have seen what he could do if he'd started from scratch. Plus, maybe it's just having read more stories of the character, but most of what he's doing seems like old-hat. Now that doesn't mean it's badly done, just that, once again, over in Cap he's set up things that seem new, to me at least.

Batman - Seeing Grant Morrison's name on a book will make me try it no matter what. Unfortunately, so far this has been about as uneven as they come. Plus, besides a three-issue stint by JH Williams III, the art has been uniformly bad. I thought Andy Kubert did some okay work on his first few issues but it was all downhill from there. Sadly, Tony Daniel has me praying for a Kubert return. The story has been completely up and down, with a decent if somewhat low impact opening arc, followed by a text story I didn't care for and two more issues that were just there. But then we got the excellent #666 and the Club of Heroes arc with Williams. Since then there's been two issues that were part of a crossover and now I'm hoping that some sort of regularity has returned, as that's where I left off. And more than anything, I'd like to know what the hell is going on with the larger picture, because while it's obvious we're being shown the different incarnations of Batman, just like with Superman, so far I don't have any idea where we're headed. But with Morrison that's really half the fun.

The Brave and the Bold - No idea where I'm at here either. The last two I read featured Wonder Woman and Power Girl and then Flash with the Doom Patrol. And both were very good, certainly the best of the series so far for me. Both displayed why Mark Waid can be an excellent superhero writer when he's on. He clearly has these characters down and has set up just enough of a continuing story to tie things together, while keeping things easy enough to follow and not bogging down the individual stories with an overcomplicated plot. The art kind of leaves me cold, but let me explain. George Perez is certainly a good artist. More than anything he always tell the story clearly, which is certainly important. But nothing really stands out for me personally. I've never seen Perez in the same light as a Gil Kane or a John Buscema. And maybe I just don't respect my elders enough, but I'd rather see the widescreen antics of a Cassaday or a Quitely over him any day. Still, this is superheroics at their old-school best. Fun stories with no mass murdering rapists or continuity that you need wikipedia for. Does DC actually know they're publishing this?

Later with thoughts on the books that put in me a full sprint.

Alright Folks, We're Back!

2008-04-07T14:28:00.003-05:00

New musical opinions follow.

Dream Theater: Still can't do it. I took a fresh listen to some songs from the new album and nothing has changed. Still the same emotionless drivel. James LaBrie's voice contains no power. John Petrucci, while technically flawless, still cannot create a melodic hook or play a lead passage that is memorable. Mike Portnoy, while also technically flawless, cannot resist changing time signatures every ten seconds for no reason. Some of the riffs aren't bad, but that's all they get from me.

Slough Feg: Big Thin Lizzy influence here. Unfortunately the songs all sound the same and the lead playing is fairly homogeneous too. Too many extended solo sections where they just pour on the legato. I almost wish for a more standard song structure, because their singer, Michael Scalzi, has an excellent voice. Still, the music isn't too bad, but I only care about half of the latest album.

Firebird: Bill Steer's rock band with a heavy influence from the late sixties and early seventies. Pleasant surprise, to say the least, and shows that Steer can do other things besides melodic death/grindcore. The latest, Hot Wings, has a good mix of tempo that helps it as an album greatly. Good playing by Steer in general. His progressions and riffs are very dynamic and while he's no shredder, his lead playing is perfect for the music. Nice drumming by Ludwig Witt as well.

Planet X: Derek Sherinian's "metal fusion" band. His solo stuff found a place with me because it's heavily guitar driven, with players like Zakk Wylde, Yngwie Malmsteen and Steve Lukather. The focus here is less heavy and Sherinian is at the forefront with his keys driving the music instead of the guitars. He also has the usual slew of top talent, with Virgil Donati on drums and Allan Holdsworth dropping in on two tracks. Donati is the good version of Mike Portnoy, a drummer with ridiculous chops but the restraint to know when and how to use them. The songs have a jazz/jam vibe, with lots of trading off between the instruments. While it doesn't appeal to me as much as when he has the axe-slingers, this is still top-notch material if you're into fusion.

What I Learned in Murray

2008-04-02T02:39:00.005-05:00

1. Being friends with someone and then living with them doesn't always turn out like you would expect.

2. Being denied privacy can piss me off. A lot.

3. Constant sound bombardment of any kind at volume levels that can be heard in the Andromeda galaxy does not cheer me up. Connection to be had with point number two.

4. World of Warcraft is God's gift to a jobless idiot.

5. My financial management, which I thought to be only average, reached lofty heights when compared to the people I was surrounded by.

6. If I have a serious dislike of someone, I cannot hide it very well.

7. Listening to the same song constantly does not ruin its appeal for some people, even if it was minimal to begin with.

8. Hardcore, metalcore and screamo can quit.

9. The word 'epic' is criminally overused.

10. Religion can take people and turn them into complete fools.

11. You shouldn't try to mod the inside of a Rock Band guitar.

12. Some people can't tell what's what on a motherboard.

13. Matt B. can make some excellent pizza.

14. The Wire is still the greatest television show ever, even on my third time watching it through.

15. Getting a job at USEC is about as plausible as winning the lottery.

16. World of Warcraft, while God's gift to a jobless idiot, turns out to be the same boring, endless grind two months later.

17. Someone exists who would rather listen to Nickleback than Opeth.

18. I miss going to Crash on Sunday.

19. Not having a job, even a crappy one, really weighs on me.

20. I love Paducah.

The Usual

2008-01-05T01:04:00.001-06:00

I still haven't relocated to Murray yet because I had my plans disrupted by a possible job opening at USEC (United States Enrichment Corporation). It's high on the list of places I never pictured myself working at but also high on the list of places I'd want to work at. My cousin has worked there for several years and let me know they're hiring entry level positions and he could get my application pulled. Totally unfair but definitely worth going for. The only problem is the job currently isn't open and there's no time frame for when it will be. So I'm hesitant to move out and pick up some crap jobs and then have to drop everything to enter the hiring process. Tomorrow is my last foreseeable day at my current job, so I'm going to be needing to get some income going fairly soon. Unless the opening is sometime in the next week, I'll probably just move and see what happens.

I bought Rock Band a week ago and have spent a copious amount of time with it, the worst being 18 hours in one day. I've mainly been on the drums, which was what really attracted me to it in the first place and there's been no disappointment. The guitar is almost the same as Guitar Hero, but I can't do much on hard and I can't sing at all, so the drums are a good fit. Playing with a group is awesome, but solo play is pretty lame after you've gotten a band going with friends. Fortunately I've found plenty of willing participants. Everyone was ready for a break after the initial firestorm, so the Lords of Thunder and 88 Miles Per Hour are on sabbatical to explore India or something.

On the reading front, I haven't gotten into anything new. I checked out Brasyl from the library, a book that sounded pretty interesting, covering three different people in separate time periods, all in Brazil. Unfortunately, after the twentieth modern pop culture reference in the first thirty pages it went back to the drop box. I'm glad I didn't pay for it. Comics-wise, I still haven't bought anything in months besides Criminal, which has literally become the 'if I could only buy one comic' scenario. It's my wonder drug. I've been re-reading stuff from the shelf I haven't been through in a while, including Hellboy Volume 1, both Whiteout stories, Seaguy and the first War Stories collection. All pretty good stuff that held up. I got more out of Seaguy the second time around and Hellboy was even better than I remembered it being. Makes me want more and to finally get caught up on all the BPRD books. I wish Mike Mignola was still drawing interiors. With the pamphlets I'm slogging through stuff while at work so I don't have to pay for it. Favorites at this point are Captain America, The Order, The Immortal Iron Fist, All-Star Superman, The Punisher, Lone Ranger and Umbrella Academy. Morrison's Batman continues to be deflated by horrible artwork and Daredevil is good but I can't really get excited about it.

I bought Band of Brothers for hardly nothing on Cyber Monday and finished it this week. I had previously seen it sporadically on the History Channel, and I'm not sure if I ever saw all the episodes or if they were even in the right order. It was thankfully easier to keep up with the fairly large cast watching it in chunks. Overall, it's a very good account of WWII from a unit that participated in many famous events across several countries. The Battle of the Bulge in particular is very well represented, as Easy Company held position in the freezing cold of Bastogne, Belgium while under constant shelling by German artillery, unable to do anything but constantly take cover. Most of the experiences are historically accurate, even though if you want to get into the details, there's plenty to nitpick about. The show was based on a book that chronicled events from WWII veterans of E Company. The show focuses on Richard Winters, who started out as a lieutenant in Easy and ended up a major by the end of the war. He's portrayed by all accounts very true to life, a caring and quiet leader who also was tactically very sound. I enjoyed the whole thing.

Forward Thinking

2007-12-24T00:54:00.001-06:00

Here are some of the things on pace for 2008 that have piqued my interest. Maybe I'll reverse this later and look back at 2007.

The Wire Season 5: My favorite television show comes to a close with ten installments in January. I fully believe this will be as engaging and insightful as the previous four seasons have been. David Simon has established at this point his ability to put his characters through a very realistic version of hell and I don't see him going soft now. I'm expecting major falls all around, with the usual mix of politics, economics and sociology that you never thought could be this entertaining. And maybe, just maybe, a sprinkle of hope or potential progress somehow surviving. I can't wait to watch this but I'll also be sad to see it go.

Fable 2: This doesn't have a complete release date but it is listed for '08. It's the anticipated sequel to the Xbox RPG made by famed designer Peter Molyneux. The original had plenty of character customization and a largely interactive world, but was seen as a disappointment by some because the possibilities weren't quite as endless as Molyneux had promised throughout development. It's no surprise things have been so quiet thus far with Fable 2, leading to very little gameplay information and no more guarantees. I spent a lot of time with the original and never understood most of the detractors. I really liked the design style of the graphics, the simple combat and tinkering with all the abilities, character images and alignment choices. I'm hoping they take the foundation and build it up to be even better.

Final Crisis: Grant Morrison is easily my favorite writer when it comes to superhero comics. The big event series is usually something I take cover from, but with his guiding hand, this has the potential to be another joyous explosion of mad ideas. Fortunately he's paired with a solid artist in JG Jones, who can hopefully interpret the script well enough to provide a good compliment to the writing. It can and has gone either way: will we get something on the level of Frank Quitely and JH Williams or Howard Porter and Tony Daniel? I haven't read Marvel Boy, the only previous Morrison/Jones collaboration I know of, so I can't say. And I'm praying that this doesn't require any knowledge of the flood of DC material that is leading into it. If so I might as well not even pull it off the shelf.

There Will Be Blood: The first trailer I saw for this had me really confused and weirded out in a bad way. The second trailer, seen last week, got the same reactions but this time in a good way. So I really need to see this to determine the final verdict. The critics have practically already given Daniel Day-Lewis the Oscar for his leading role, and I'll be the first to say in the trailers it came across as a great performance. The limited release could prove to be a problem in my one theater town, so I may be waiting a while.

A Dance With Dragons: The fifth novel in George RR Martin's fantasy series has seen countless delays and still has no release date. More than likely it should be done soon though, so I'm putting it on here. The Song of Ice and Fire series is really excellent because while it contains many tried and true fantasy elements it thankfully is absent of many others. The ridiculous good and evil, black and white morality is the chief hallmark that is nowhere to be found. Each of the chapters is written from a different character's point of view, so many opinions and explanations offer varying takes on events. Martin has also built a rich world with extremely detailed past occurrences that reflect and influence the myriad plot lines that run throughout. Martin was the final nail in the coffin for boring machines like R.A. Salvatore.

Frank Mir vs Brock Lesnar: An intriguing mixed martial arts matchup, pitting a former champion on the long climb back from injury in Mir against a former pro-wrestler stepping into a whole new world in Lesnar. While Mir may not be as good as he was after suffering heavy damage in a motorcycle accident, he is quite a challenge for Lesnar, who only has one pro fight to his name. Theoretically most newcomers from outside fighting sports are vulnerable on the ground and with Mir being a BJJ black belt, Lesnar could be in serious trouble if he gets taken down. But Lesnar is a former collegiate national wrestling champion, so he's not going to be helpless in there. He's also built like a walking tank and might not pass a steroid test. I think this is a great pairing of two fighters who have a lot to prove that could result in a good scrap or quick clunker.

So there you go: a television series, a video game, a comic book, a movie, a novel and an MMA fight. These are just all predictions; if everything on here ends up a letdown, don't gloat and tell me how wrong I was. My prophetic voice has always been pretty shaky.