Hellboy: Wake the Devil

This is the second collected volume in the Hellboy series, even though a footnote tells me chronologically it falls after another story that is in the third book that contains shorter tales. Nevertheless, it's still early on in the shown career of "The World's Greatest Paranormal Investigator" and some of those crazy Russians and Germans show up for another go round. John Byrne, who scripted the first volume, Seed of Destruction, is absent this time, setting up Mignola on words and pictures. And he does a fine job. His dialogue is better than Byrne's, but his sequencing of events is a little shaky. There's quite a lot going on in Wake the Devil, and some of it has a lot less impact than maybe was intended. In particular, Mignola seems to have trouble doing anything with the supporting cast of the BPRD. Abe Sapien and Liz Sherman are joined by a couple of dead men walking. One of them sports and eye patch, and he blemishes the mystique of said accessory by dying. It's a sure thing that Nick Fury, Snake Plissken and Molotov Cocktease are disgusted beyond belief. But anyway, they basically get into trouble that doesn't concern anything in the greater story nor do those events get developed. It's a weak spot that fortunately doesn't blemish a strong overall work. The back story of Rasputin and some of the Nazis he worked with is expanded and tied into Mignola's version of folklore like Dracula and the Baba Yaga. It all comes together in an explosive finale that sees Hellboy more informed of his true purpose. And let's not forget the artwork. At this point Mignola had refined his style enough to where he was completely unique. While his stories do have some Jack Kirby in them, it's in his drawings that you can clearly see the King's influence. The blocky figures and black dots are joined by his excellent use of black space and shadow, able to create suspense and set an eerie mood. It's perfect for the stories he's telling of Victorian castles, monsters in dark depths and pulp heroes and villains. Overall, Wake the Devil is another impressive foray into the Hellboy universe, and I can't wait to dive in further.

Reflecting on UFC 86...

...where I tell you things you already know. Warning: my recollections are a bit hazy on some of this, memory is not my greatest asset.

Tyson Griffin vs Marcus Aurelio: Griffin delivered his signature performance, a solid showing without being able to finish the the durable Aurelio. He shouldn't worry about not getting a knockout or submission, he's exciting enough. Aurelio looked pretty rough, and might be in the twilight of his career at 34. That win over Gomi is fading out faster than ever.

Chris Lytle vs Josh Koscheck: Mr. Kos, the guy everyone loves to hate, went back to the wrestling well and prevented Lytle from doing anything in addition to opening a huge cut that had both fighters and the octagon covered in blood. Despite a recent KO of Dustin Hazelett, Koscheck probably stood little chance of stopping Lytle, so smart plan equals boring fight.

Joe Stevenson vs Gleison Tibau: Nice guillotine in the second is all I remember. Stevenson is the choke king of the UFC.

Patrick Cote vs Ricardo Almeida: This turned monotonous after the first round, which had Almeida looking dominant on the ground as expected. After that he couldn't get a takedown, and Cote kept him at bay with just enough aggression to get the split decision. Neither of these guys looked like anything more than cannon fodder for Anderson Silva, should he stay and defend at middleweight. Let's hope Yushin Okami gets in there first.

Forrest Griffin vs Quinton Jackson: Nothing like a good fight ending with some controversy.

Lambo's Armchair Scorecard

Round 1: Jackson 10-9. The uppercut that almost finished it give this one to Rampage.

Round 2: Griffin 10-8. Here's a good example of why the judging system needs clarification. The leg kick seriously hurt Jackson, enough to where he basically got laid on the entire round and did nothing but somewhat defend himself. Griffin certainly was in complete control the whole time but did very little damage. Since it was effectively domination for close to five minutes, I think 10-8 is appropriate. I'm sure many other people disagree, and I wish there was more of a consensus on these things, even though I'm no judge. I will say, out of the all the fights I've seen, this was the only one where I instantly thought it would be 10-8.

Round 3: Jackson 10-9. Now here's where a personal belief comes in. Maybe this comes from me previously being a boxing fan, but I think that if there is a real close round the champ gets it. The challenger has got to get in there and show he is definitively better. I don't think Griffin showed that, so I score it for Jackson. Griffin was landing more, but Jackson was landing harder. Tough to call.

Round 4: Jackson 10-9. Another close round. Griffin certainly scores for a good triangle attempt, but Jackson had him defending the rest of the time, even though he didn't do that much damage. While not as close as the third round, I return to my champ philosophy again and go with Jackson.

Round 5: Griffin 10-9. I think this was clearly Forrest's round. He finished strong and threw aggressively as he had been while Jackson didn't do enough to really make up for it.

My final score is 47-47, the good ol' draw.

Alas, that's not how it turned out. Griffin got the unanimous decision and the light heavyweight belt, along with a chorus of boos from the crowd, which took me by surprise. I figured he would be who the majority were rooting for? I also don't get the hate for Griffin, who I see as a fighter who uses his drive and tenacity to make up for the skills and experience he may lack. I was pulling for Rampage, but the fight was close and decisions can go every which way, so I don't think he was robbed. Interesting to see if there will be an immediate rematch. I kind of doubt it, as there are so many interesting matchups at 205 that possibly putting Rampage in an eliminator against someone else while having Griffin defend once might set up the rematch (if things worked out) more effectively. But that's just my opinion, and I'm as much of a match maker as I am a judge.

Other notes: If not for the great main event, Jorge Gurgel vs Cole Miller would've been fight of the night. While neither are looking like title contenders at this point, they matched up well, putting on a standup show, with Gurgel getting the better of the exchanges, until he got sloppy late and got caught in a triangle. He held on for quite some time, but tapped with only eighteen seconds left in the third round. Good fight and great finish by Miller. Also, Gabriel Gonzaga got back on track with a first round submission over the outclassed Justin McCully. Gonzaga is one of the few legitimate contenders in the UFC's heavyweight crop, but they're running out of guys to match him against. Possibly Cheick Kongo if he wins next month?

Dapple

That post about Ron Paul sucked so I deleted it, and the Iron Fist review I wrote below is bad, but I left it up because some of the other things are okay. Also deleted a six paragraph draft I had brewing about cross promotion in MMA. I sure do have high standards for my one reader (hey Chris!). And the second part of this post is going to be close to unreadable, so read at your own peril.

But up first, I'm going to complain about stuff that doesn't make sense, at least to me. Several years ago I saw two articles in the local paper that completely contradicted each other and left me wondering what the hell is happening. First article says the overwhelming majority of people they surveyed don't support gay marriage. Then, right next to that, there's an article that says the overwhelming majority of people they surveyed dont' want to put a ban on gay marriage. Now I'm sure different groups of people were surveyed and maybe even in different areas but what a great choice of articles to place together. WE DON'T LIKE THAT CRAP BUT WE DON'T HATE IT ENOUGH TO STOP IT FOR GOOD...sorry gay people, have fun in eternal limbo or move to Canada, cause nothing changed. Or get to California. Isn't it great when the states get a hair up their ass and do whatever they want sometimes? And then it all gets overturned a month later, but still, fun while it lasted. Always seems to happen in the golden state, which makes it great when you're at the supermarket looking for the right brand of frozen orange juice and you hear discussion like, "CALIFORNYA has done nothing but destroy AMERICAN values and provide a breeding ground for sinners. Did you see where Jesus killed more Chinese cause they don't like him?" I bring up gay marriage cause there's this parallel that only I can see with how people view "da govament". When things are going great everybody wants the government to eat shit and not exist. But then when something goes wrong we come running! "Gas is $87 dollars a gallon, why doesn't the government do something for once and lower the gas price and help everybody by reaming the oil companies." Hey kids, good news, gas is down to $2 a gallon, but we think we're gonna look into some environmental regulations the oil companies might've broken that could result in fines. "NOW WAIT A MINUTE, YOU AIN'T GOT NO RIGHT TO TELL THEM HONEST, HARD WORKING ENTREPENEWERS WHAT THEY CAN'T DO. ANY MONEY THEY MAKE SHOULD BE THEIRS, AND NOT GO TO SOME WELFARE CHECK TO BUY DOPE WITH!" Wow, this got unreadable fast, but it was fun.

Now here's a comic series that I don't like for reasons I probably can't explain well and may not prove to be valid. And by series I mean issues one and two of Ultimates 2, because I couldn't force myself through any more. It's superheroes, but they're in the real world!

HOLY SHIT, THE REAL WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111112222222233333444445555555666666666777777

But wait mom, that doesn't really make sense does it? I mean, there aren't super soldiers or Norse gods running around outside. And guess what, ol' Johnny's right, there aren't! Don't tell Mark Millar though, because his whole foundation of life will crumble. In this real world, all the main characters are arrogant douchebags who talk a bunch, which makes drying paint look fascinating. Chief among them is Stalwart Steve Rogers, who is such a dumb prick in here it makes me want to run anywhere that has the Brubaker series and just masturbate fervently to its' contents. "People swearing is bad, all girls dress like whores, oh look, stereotypical thug black whippersnappers made a comment at me so this effectively placed cutaway shot will imply that I gave em' a whoopin cause I is awesome and they is dumz, lawlz." They've should've kept this asshole on ice. "Hey Thor, you have different opinion like Nazis and hang out in your opium rave den, so I will respond with punch." Oh but he's stopped by some obvious hipster protester Green Peace asshat who starts a beer assault on him...well sure. And I thought we couldn't get much lower than this A doesn't stand for suck. Here comes Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, on vacation floating through Italy. Then they get a phone call so they can show off their super snobbery, and imply that they like Europe, where everyone is a liberal cancer and should be thankful they exist because of Uncle Sam, but the guy that writes this is Scottish. Oh and Oprah is mentioned, and Tony Stark is on Larry King, because they're REAL PEOPLE IN THE REAL WORLD THAT THIS TAKES PLACE IN STARBUCKS. So to recap: superheroes are real, Captain America is written as a symbol of American elitism and arrogance and Pietro and Wanda are even bigger dipshits than the other people, cause they are all arty and hang out in Venice or something. So see, you can't single anyone out because they're all unrelatable AND unlikeable. Oh and Cap is teh narrowminded cause he thinks gods are dumb and he is a sucker cause he goes to church WHAT THE FUCK MARK MILLAR?

Good thing I only paid ten dollars for all thirteen issues, here I come ebay!