M11 Draft #2

I had to wait a week but draft #2 has come and gone. Read on to see if I return to the previous glories of the first draft or if I replay 2003.

Sadly there were no tales from before the draft, as we had the cards this time and were able to start much earlier. We have nine people again, so someone gets a bye. Some new faces, notably a guy whose name I forget but is called Johnny Redbeard by my friend Chris, who has a hatred so thick for him you can drizzle it over pancakes (I stole that line from Patton Oswalt). Mainly because JB comes down to the store, plants his ass in the floor and reads comics without paying for them and then will drop a fart every now and then. Just in case you were on the fence about this guy being a winner, here was his plan of action. He had to work at 8 pm. The draft started at 6 pm. Trouble in paradise? Yep, he willingly dropped $20 so he could get roughly $12 worth of cards and only be able to play one round, with no way to win any product and make his entry back. The only way that works is if you just rare draft, but M11 is a fairly weak set for that and it's a moot point because he didn't anyway.

My recollections are a little lax this week, sorry. I also have already donated my draft deck to the Smith cause so I don't have my decklist. The draft starts and I first pick Doom Blade. At the end of Pack 1 I'm clearly in blue black, with an Assassinate, Cloud Elemental, Air Servant, and a Scroll Thief. Pack 2 I pick up a Howling Banshee, Clone, Mana Leak and a Forsee, and notably a late (8th or 9th) Pyroclasm. Pack 3 I get some more decent stuff like an Ice Cage, Azure Drake, Augury Owl, Corrupt, and some filler. The highlight is a fourth pick Fireball...yeah, that shouldn't be in there. To compliment that, I find a Prodigal Pyromancer that tables and it looks like I have a red splash. I also had a Warlord's Axe and a Whispersilk Cloak. In retrospect I don't think I should have played the Cloak, as my deck was almost exclusively evasion creatures and creature-light already. The only thing it worked well with was Scroll Thief. Nether Horror or even Maritime Guard seems like the better choice. The Axe is a large mana investment, but since I only had one 5-drop and nothing higher, I thought it might be able to send my fliers over the top when I needed the last few points of damage. My mana base was 9 Island, 6 Swamp, and 2 Mountain. Once again I had nothing valuable outside of the draft, as I was on the other side of the table from the girl who opened a pack with double Primeval Titan and got a nice shiny $50-60 piece of cardboard.

Round 1: The Constructed Hype-Man Strikes Back

Again this guy drafted mono-black, but this time he didn't have Grave Titan. He did have two Captivating Vampire, which he had tried to base his entire deck around to horrific results. Game 1 is over pretty quick, his deck just can't compete with my pile of jank. Game 2 is not over pretty quick. I have the life totals, and at one point he was at 27 from Demon's Horn. However, as you know (or if you don't you do now) that card it terrible in Limited. I draw so much removal and he just keeps playing Disentomb. Finally I get a board presence and wipe his whole side of the field with Pyroclasm and estamos terminado. Addendum 1: David (or CHM, which is what I think I'm going to refer to him as in the future), says "pull" whenever he draws. I'm a little torn on this. I like the word pull, but only in the context of referring to a relatively obscure pop culture reference. For example, you and some friends are walking through an intersection, the light changes, the driver in the closest car blares his horn, and someone in the group then says, "Man, who does this guy think we are, Barry Allen?" Then someone else says, "Nice pull." My favorite is the line about the demilitarized zone from Ghostbusters. What's yours? Addendum 2: While the games are going on, Zach, who I didn't play last week but who I thought might be one of the better players, decides to scout everyone's deck. He comes over and just stares at my hand and I hide it face down. This will be sort of awesome in a turd way later. Addendum 3: Ron Trauma got the ultimate from Ajani Goldmane during Round 1 against the bastard 9th cousin of life.dec. He gained some life himself, then cast Overwhelming Stampede and attacked for over 100.

Round #2: Justin

Justin had a B/R deck that was a mixture of a burn deck and the Threaten deck. He had several Act of Treason but no way to get rid of the creatures. He also had a Fire Servant, something I had seen enough of last week. We split the first two games non-remarkably. In the third, he has almost no pressure after I Doom Blade his first guy and get in with Scroll Thief. I'm slowly whittling him down and get him to 5 with me at 15. With him at 8 mana he casts double Act of Treason and then laments the fact that he can't do anything with the one card in his hand, which is Demon of Death's Gate. I saw this card early in the draft and passed it. I think in the past I would have channeled Pete Townsend and planted that thing in my pile quickly, but I'm better now. That card is terrible. His attack with my guys does not kill me and then he asks what's in my hand. I tell him if he's conceding I'll be happy to show him. He says he is and I show him two land. I'm assuming he was worried about a counter for the card he couldn't cast regularly or through the alternate casting cost. Addendum 4: He was running at least two Lava Axe, which I'm assuming was his win condition. So do I side in my two Flashfreeze? Nope, because I'm that good/terrible. Addendum 5: After my game is done, there's only one match left. It's a guy who hasn't played in forever who drafted a mono-white deck that is beyond bad. He went with the stereotypical life gain with no actual kill condition or threats. As such, his games could last a long time, but he would never concede even though he literally had no chance at winning a game. Since we're on a short clock anyway, this is a problem. Now I don't want to be that guy, but too late. Read some Marx, go to Asia, or do something. Whatever it is, take one for the collective and FUCKING PACK IT IN.

Round 3: Zach

My deck decided to vomit this round, though I certainly didn't help. Game 1 I should have mulliganed to 5 but kept, hoping to draw an Island, which didn't show up until it was too late. Game 2 my opener is 6 lands and Warlord's Axe. I go down to 4 before I get a playable hand. This was a genuinely frustrating game besides the mulligans. I figure out this game that Zach's deck is even more creature-light than mine. So while I have nothing, he is attacking with Viscera Seer only for about four turns. This makes me think I have a chance, as I'm able to draw into some removal and Mana Leak, meaning he has no real pressure. Instead of playing threats while I sit with three land forever, he casts Sign in Blood and Jace's Ingenuity, making sure he has a full grip of goodness. As such, I finally start playing dudes and he plays Aether Adept for three consecutive turns. Yay. I mean, his strategy worked, I would just rather get wrecked quickly rather than slowly. Mind Control and Sleep help too, I hear.

So I'm at 2-1 and am able to draw into the Top 4 reset and we effectively skip the final round, which means we can play to see who gets to split the packs, as we still will not have time for the finals. Ron is first, Zach second, I'm third, and Luke is fourth. So I sit right back down against Zach.

Round 4 (or 5): Zach por el segundo vez.

Game 1 is a terrible flashback, as I mulligan more and he draws creatures. From the life totals, I can see I took him to 18 and then slowly went to zero. Things turn around in Game 2. He mentions early when I play a mountain that he did not know I was playing red from any of the previous three games. The whole game was a race but I had Fireball in my hand and I thought he he didn't know I had it because (FLASHBACK) that was the card I had in my hand that I hid from him. Here's the situation: I have Howling Banshee and six mana in play. He has a guy out that I have Ice Cage on, a Liliana's Specter, and a Cloud Elemental. He's at 7 and I'm at 6. He's tapped out so I decide to go for it. I attack with the Howling Banshee, thinking that it screams trick, though really I'm not sure. He did not have lethal on the board, though he might have had a way to get rid of the Ice Cage. He was running Unsummon and Diminish, but both of those would not have let him kill me the next turn. He could have cast Sign in Blood on me, as I can't remember if he had already played it that game. I think in that situation, with the life totals as they were, I would double block, but I could be thinking too cautiously. He lets it through, goes to 4 and I show him the Fireball. From a completely-admitted asshole/shiteater/worthless fuck perspective, the look on his face was priceless.

So like last week it's one game to decide if I get to give Rob more cards (unless I pull one of the seven or so cards I could sell on ebay) or if I go home with my draft deck only. This game was a nice change of pace, as he draws tricks but no guys and eventually he just can't cope with my board. He resolves Liliana Vess and tutors up Sleep to try and slow me down but my hand is an Exxon station while he's sitting on a few cards in hand and one creature that I have Ice Cage on. I play Liliana's Specter and he pitches Redirect, which seems odd, since that would be good for the Fireball I'm holding. The other card in his hand is a Diminish, which he plays when I attack. At this point we're both at 8 and he has nothing in hand and nothing effective on the board. I untap, ready to attack for five and then drop the Fireball but he concedes. Sadly, he cannot stop from saying about how he had messed up and thrown the game away by discarding Redirect and how I should be dead. The only problem with that logic is he's wrong. I could only Fireball for 4, so if he sends it at me, I just kill him next turn. He could hit my Specter but he couldn't kill my Banshee too because of the 3 toughness and having to pay for the split. Not to mention I had Assassinate and Corrupt (though I couldn't cast it on five mana) and another creature in my hand. I tell him this, letting him know there was nothing he really could have done, and he just keeps saying he threw the game away and I should have lost. Irritating, but I got the packs and opened absolutely nothing of value except a foil Mountain.

It's late and I suck. The end.

The Regathering of Magical Things

I have started messing with Magic again, and I think if the playgroup in my weekend location can stick together I will keep with it. I certainly am reading sites and following coverage again, so it feels like it's 2003, except I think I am somewhat better at the game. Anyway, I know one person who used to love to read my 0-2 drop tournament reports and I'm hoping he still does. This was the first draft I had done in 4 years and the first I had done where I really had a semblance of what was happening in 6 years. Here we go with M11 Draft.

I show up to the store and I'm the last person for our crew of 9. Time may pass, but the same goobers still play the game. We've got the guy whose wife is calling him every five minutes wondering where his mom is so she can come pick up their damned kids. We've got the guy who has a totally savage, brutal, burngasm comment after every other person's sentence. We've got the guy talking about his awesome constructed decks before the draft. There's the older guy that doesn't fit in but tries to hoot 'n' holler with the youngans. Then we've got the guy who, God bless him, is just so annoying you can't suffice his existence in a world with any sort of higher power or omnipotent force of good. And then there are the people you can handle. All 3 of them. The draft starts and research just goes out the window. I can watch LSV draft all day on MTGO and think I've got a minor handle on things. What the hell was I thinking? First pick I take a Garruk's Packleader over Sleep. After this I don't remember much because I was seeing cards so late that should be mid-range to high picks that I had no idea what to draft. I think I passed a Serra Angel pick 2 for an Air Servant instead. This is instructional, right? Then I see a Blinding Mage pick 4. I stare at it wondering why it's there. Anyway, I take it just because I want to keep options open figuring white is there. Then I see a Forsee like pick 7 or 8 and scoop it up. I think I get an Azure Drake like 11th and at the end of Pack 1 I have a bunch of G/B/U stuff and a Blinding Mage. After this point I remember nothing specific. I got a Mitotic Slime to go with a Gravedigger along with a Cudgel Troll and Sylvan Ranger, which was good because at this point I was looking at three colors. Pack 3 is good news when I get a Cultivate early and then a second Awakener Druid and Acidic Slime. Just to tell you the level of this table (and I by no means am a good drafter, but still) there was an Assault Griffin that went 14th pick...come on guys, really?

I end up with G/U/B with this list:

2x Barony Vampire,
2x Awakener Druid
2x Lllanowar Elves
1x Azure Drake
1x Yavimaya Wurm
1x Gravedigger
1x Mitotic Slime
1x Royal Assassin
1x Acidic Slime
1x Sylvan Ranger
1x Giant Spider
1x Cudgel Troll
1x Air Servant
1x Gargoyle Sentinel
1x Garruk's Packleader
1x Howling Banshee
1x Jace's Ingenuity
1x Forsee
1x Cultivate

1x Mystifying Maze
8x Forest
5x Island
4x Swamp

The mana might not be correct, as in that may not be the numbers I played and it is probably horribly mis-built from the start. It only ended up being an issue in one game. Also, I only had one 2-drop and possibly too many 4 and 5-drops. Hey, I never said I was good.

Round 1: Guy who was super annoying.

We set down and dude comments that our first names are both Josh. Since I can't make it to the courthouse until Monday to change my name, we start Game 1. His deck is just awful. This will be a mini-theme. He was playing a bunch of terrible cards, the highlight being one of the 2-cost artifacts where you gain life if they cast a certain color spell. Anyway, I just crush him Game 1. Game 2, he at least shows something by getting rid of a guy with Doom Blade. He then has two bad creatures and then shows me the combo of the millennium, Mass Polymorph. Except he hits more terrible guys, one of which was a Liliana's Specter (COMBO, I guess). I crush him again. After the game he tells me he's running Mass Polymorph so he can hit Inferno Titan, which he cannot get into play any other way...yep. As an addendum to this match, here's a nugget of wisdom from this guy before we drafted. He said that there were two cards he would pick no matter his colors or anything if he opened or was passed them: Doom Blade (that's sorta reasonable) and Mana Leak (that's sorta not reasonable).

Round 2: Guy who was his own constructed hype-man.

I knew he had cracked a Grave Titan and a Fauna Shaman, so I was wondering how this would go. Turns out he went mono-black (apparently channeling Frank Karsten from Odyssey block) and his deck was muy mal. Still, he had Grave Titan. Game 1 he plays sub-optimal cards and it's over quick. Game 2 is a little different. I come out a little slow but he stalls out and really has nothing threatening and is stuck on five mana. He hits Swamp #6 and Grave Titan comes out. I start hanging back but he immediately attacks with it next turn. Here's another addendum. This guy sort of reminds me of me when I used to play. Loves the game and makes rough plays and then hates the game. Sure enough I have two guys that can double block and I take out GT. He sort of stares at the board and doesn't understand what's happening. I explain that both my guys will die and so will his. He finally figures it out and is not happy. Earlier he made a similar mistake with Stabbing Pain where he wasted the card and I tried to show him how if he had played the card differently, it would benefit him. I gave him the option to back up and he refused, which further reminds me of myself because I used to blatantly screw up, be told what I did wrong, and then just get pissed and never learn. Anyway, enough with the after school special. I come back soon and win.

Game 3: Ron Trauma

Ron was the best player there and a nice dude as the de facto runner of things. I thought his deck was a little janky but he showed me in the end. Game 1 the board gets cluttered but I have Packleader and eventually I overwhelm him. Game 2 I have mana issues and he takes me out quick. Game 3 is disappointing because I think if I get through Ron I could go undefeated but I keep a slow hand and he gets Fire Servant out on the table, which I know is bad because he has plenty of burn. Chandra's Outrage takes out my best guy and I take four, he then Flings a guy at me for 6 and then Fireball comes straight to the dome for like 100. Addendum #3: Ron's last name is not Trauma, but that is his wrestling name. Yes, he is a former local pro wrestler who packed it in but still works the show as a commentator and manager. So to me he is Ron Trauma. Why do I know this? I went to a show he was at. Yes, legions, whenever I drop my frequent cultural elitism, remember I have attended a local pro wrestling show and am full of shit.

Game 4: Luke, who I didn't mention earlier. He got hit by a car like a year ago, got a bunch of money and spent it all because he doesn't understand scarcity. He was there drafting because he had taken money from his girlfriend to pay bills and instead invested it in WOTC's product.

Luke had a U/W deck but his cards weren't that great. I think in every game he attacked into my empty board on turn three and cast Mighty Leap to get in that extra two to the face. Game 1 he just runs out of cards after casting what I swear was every physical copy of Unsummon in the world and it's over. Game two I stall on mana and he's able to clog up the board and then drops a Blinding Mage, allowing him to tap down the creature I needed to survive a turn later. We go to Game 3 and Ron lets us know since we have the fortune to play in a place that is not where we get the cards and closes at 10 pm, we have about fifteen minutes to finish up and the winner will split the prize in the finals. Game 3 gets pretty tight. He gets out some guys and I'm light on action. I'm down to 8 and he has more guys on board than I do. He untaps and drops Inspired Charge, the last card in hand, before I declare blockers...uhh? I was planning on chumping anyway, but now he gets nothing and even loses guys. On the next turn I'm able to drop Azure Drake and get Howling Banshee back with Gravedigger. I'm hesitant about playing the Banshee, which will take me down to 3, but I figure it's my path to victory as he has no flying blockers. A few turns later he concedes when he still has a turn to live. I get 9 packs. Addendum #4: Luke acted like he either hadn't slept in a week or was going through withdrawal from narcotics. Paying attention and moving seemed to be a chore. He also seems prone to thinking he's a man out of time, as about half his vocabulary comes from the movie Grease.

The perfect ending to this story? I got home and spilled Diet Mountain Dew all over my deck. Thankfully there was nothing good in there. This whole report was unnecessary, but fun. Hopefully I do it again next week.