We finally get off the highway of doom and get to Cape Girardeau. I get the tickets, we get in line and move in no problem, I was pretty surprised at how seamless the whole process was. Here is where we were sitting:
(The few photos in this report are awful. B had a proper camera so his are much better, but I just had my phone, so apologies.)
I hold the seats down while B checks out the merch stand and CDubTDub pulls two $5 Miller Lite drafts. They dim the lights, everybody goes nuts and then Justin Roberts comes out. I guess this is as good a time as any to mention this is the third live wrestling event I've attended and the first WWE show. So I didn't know what to expect, more on that later. I bring that up to note that I was surprised Roberts was there. I wasn't expecting a local guy, but I figured they had somebody else to run everybody out that they hauled around with them. In my feeble brain, Justin Roberts is too Hollywood for house shows, apparently. He starts with the obligatory hype stuff, then we get to the first match. Unknown moment #2: I wasn't sure who was going to be here outside of the big names. The WWE page and the event page conflicted on the lineup, with the tantalizing "And Many More" listed at the bottom. I knew Daniel Bryan had been removed from the card earlier, which was a bummer as he's the guy that got me back into wrestling and is a demi-god. Other people like Sin Cara, The Miz, Santino, and Rey Mysterio were no-shows also (I know Mysterio had a concussion, and the others I don't feel strongly about either way). So I'm sort of excited/worried to see who is coming out.
Tensai gets announced and lumbers down to the ring, Sakomoto not in tow. He's fine, but didn't get much of a reaction. Unknown moment #3: I wasn't sure how the chants and crowd participation would work at a house show. There wasn't much outside the local wrestling norm, which was kind of disappointing, as I really wanted to get in on the "CENA SUCKS!" chant, but you can't win em' all. I say that to note there was no "Albert!" chant. Tyson Kidd gets announced as his opponent. Kidd has charm, I'll say that, he's exuberant as hell. I'm sure he's technically damn good, but I don't know because he's never shown. Tensai controls the whole match except for spurts, where Kidd gets to show off his agility. It ends just like their Raw match, Tensai misses and Kidd rolls him up for the 3 count and hauls ass to the back. Tensai gets on the mic and starts screaming about how nobody can beat him twice, the loss was a fluke, and he wants anyone in the back to come out. I still am pissed my dreams were crushed and Carlito was nowhere to be found. Anyway, some guy, who I have to apologize to because I don't remember his name, comes out. I've never seen him before, but he is the WWE's type to a hilt. He's built like Cena on roids, and his gimmick is he chants "WOOF" (see, my dog wanted to go for a reason). So uhh...yeah, that's it. I don't remember much about what happened, he managed to get Tensai to the ground after a hundred clotheslines and then hit a move for the finish. This made me think we might see more developmental guys from FCW or something, but he was the only one. (After some research, I found him: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ettore_Ewen).
An aside: This report was written for one person, who was unfortunately unable to attend because he's got to work to get hurt. As such, after each match I will be updating a running tally for the number of times "TO THE TOP!" was screamed during each match.
TO THE TOP TALLY: 1 (Tyson Kidd)
The next match is announced and the recently returned David Otunga rolls out. He does his poses in the ring, which goes on way too long. Finally his opponent gets announced and it's Alex Riley. I've seen Otunga in the ring maybe once and the only thing I know about Riley is the commentators basically relegated him to dogshit before he rolled up Dolph Ziggler in that awesome Jericho moment on Raw a few weeks back. Otunga controls the action and does poses after every...single...move. This one dragged pretty bad, though it did get the crowd on Riley's side pretty well. Unfortunately, the end was anti-climactic, as Riley just hit a clothesline off the top and got the pin after being behind the whole time. I'm assuming Otunga is a bit rusty, as there was one point where Riley hit an arm toss and Otunga was not nearly close enough and had to compensate by launching himself into Riley's arm as it was coming down. I bring up botches because I am a heartless douchebag writing this shit on the internet.
TO THE TOP TALLY: 2 (Alex Riley)
We got some RawActive stuff next, to decide if the tag match would be 2 out of 3 falls or a street fight. Then we got the Divas match, with Aksana coming out first. This is a good time to point out that CDubTDub was a big, big fan of Aksana, and everybody in close to a twenty row radius knew he was a fan. Layla comes out next and gets a big reaction and puts one right on some guy in the front row B knows. I wish I was him. Unknown moment #4: Something I had heard (or thought I heard, who knows) about house shows was that they were more off-the-cuff, since nobody really thinks the belts are going to change hands in the gymnasium of the Redhawks of Southeast Missouri State. Unfortunately this was not the case, which I gathered at least a bit from the announcement that the main event would be for the title, but I was hoping everything else would be a little bit crazier, a good incentive to go to these things since they don't have to worry about the storyline and can make awesome/ridiculous matches. Oh well. So we know Layla is going to win, but at least the match can be good right? Hell, it's not tough to figure out whose going to win in wrestling sometimes. Unfortunately, if Aksana can wrestle, she didn't show it tonight. Maybe she's still getting there or they just didn't get it going in the match. Either way, this whole match was Layla trying every different pinning maneuver on Earth, before Aksana turtled on her knees and Layla spanked her. Aksana's whole offense was hair grabs and a few kicks. Layla hit her with a falling neck breaker for the pin.
TO THE TOP TALLY: 2
The tag match was up next, and the decision shockingly came back that the fans had voted for a Street Fight. I was curious to see what they would be able to do with that in the limited format they had. Turns out not much, they had a kendo stick with a few smacks. 2 out of 3 falls would have been more interesting, but what real wrasslin' fan is going to vote for that garbage? The Prime Time Players have a universal pre-cut promo that airs where they go to the heel well and talk about how much of a dump "this town" their in is, which predictably gets the crowd against them. R-Truth comes out to his own intro, which I had never heard and gets the crowd fired up, Kofi comes out last. The "Kobe Bryant" chant almost got started going strong, but then petered out. Titus tries to drown out R-Truth's "What's Up?!" chant with his "What's Happening?!" which goes nowhere. R-Truth is in almost the whole match, excluded from Kofi, until near the end when Kofi gets tagged in and starts cleaning house. The momentum reverses and Darren Young gets a cover, Kofi puts his foot on the ropes but Titus throws it off and the Prime Time Players come out on top...UNTIL AJ COMES OUT AND RESTARTS THE MATCH, THIS SHIT IS BONKERS! It's worth noting AJ got a huge pop when she came out, was there for five seconds and then left never to be seen again. Good gig if you can get it. I guess people like more as the GM than I do. Titus and Darren are so distracted that they immediately get hit with big moves and get pinned, putting the titles back with Kofi and R-Truth. Afterwards R-Truth got the crowd to scream in unison at Kofi to believe in Little Jimmy and he bowed to the pressure. That's a gimmick that's really grown on me.
TO THE TOP TALLY: 3 (Kofi Kingston)
The intermission was up next and I noticed that they were showing tweets people had sent about the event. I immediately tweeted, "Where is Heath Slater?" I didn't have time to think about tweeting, "When is the Damien Sandow merch going to start showing up?"
Wade Barrett came out next, I've never seen this guy but have read about him and seen the promos they've been running, so he's getting the ring rust off. He led with a line about how no one had any manners, which helped me to establish him as the heel (sometimes wrestling's simplicity is it's biggest strength) to jeers from the crowd. He said he had went back to England and his fighting roots and was the best fighter ever to step in the ring. CM Punk might let that slide since he didn't use the term wrestler. Curt Hawkins came out as his opponent to a lukewarm reaction even though he was the face. The match itself was pretty forgettable and I hardly remember any of it, the crowd was into this one probably the least. Barrett has a bruiser style and controlled most of it.
TO THE TOP TALLY: 3
Antonio Cesaro came out next with Aksana. This guy is growing on me. I love that he reacts to the What? chants and that "foreign guy who speaks perfect English but can speak other languages" just gets heat out of this world and he's a better wrestler than I'd initially given him credit for. CDubTDub still liked Aksana. His opponent? Zack Ryder, bitches. Long Island Iced Z got a huge pop and the crowd had Ryder chants going throughout the whole match and plenty of Woo Woo Woo action. The match itself was great, it was refreshingly back and forth and both guys had good spots, hell Ryder even got to hit some of his signature moves. I love how dignified Cesaro's elbow drops are, too. Ryder went for his finisher but missed and Cesaro hit the Neutralizer for the pin. The crowd was really into this one.
TO THE TOP TALLY: 3
Next up was the main event. Cena came out first and the place exploded, there would be no "Cena Sucks!" chant tonight. B and CDubTDub go nuts and I remain seated. The non-ring highlight of the night occurred during this part, as CDubTDub decided to accost the woman in front of us, demanding to know why she was not standing up. He overlooked me, as I was not standing up either, but whatever. The woman is taken aback and says, "I don't even watch this!" Her kids were there, so I get it, but she was wearing a current CM Punk shirt, and WWE clothing isn't exactly budget conscious, so who knows. I still got a huge laugh out of that exchange. Next up is Big Show, who gets some good heat and a good laugh from myself when he acts like he's going to throw his beanie into the crowd and instead just dumps it on the floor. CM Punk comes out finally, which gets me out of my seat for the first time all night. If anyone ever needs to blackmail me for any reason, if this event was filmed, acquire the start of his entrance and find the part where I completely mark out and scream "IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME" in unison with Punk. My travel mates were more conflicted with Punk than I was. The match was an Extreme Rules triple threat. It was a stripped down version of the Summerslam match. Show started the beatdown early until Cena took him out with the steps. Later Show took out Cena and CM Punk got to deliver three straight running knees in the corner. That move never gets old because he can do it so well. Punk whiffed on the follow up bulldog and got choke slammed but Cena stopped the pinfall. Cena hit the Five Knuckle Shuffle but had his AA stopped by Punk, who hit the Savage elbow drop from the top. Cena removed Punk again and hit the AA, but Punk came in with the belt and took out Cena and then pinned the Big Show. Show headed to the back while Punk grabbed a mic and repeated his respect spiel, once again offering a handshake to Cena. Punk had got a big response earlier, but the crowd turned on him big time after the match. Cena considered for a good while and then bluffed the handshake into the AA. He celebrated and then busted out, while Punk eventually limped back to the locker room. B didn't even get to see that part because he was truckin' ass to the merch stand to buy all the Zack Ryder gear. CDubTub decided that however many hundreds of dollars was too much for the replica belt and we rolled out. I was annoyed they didn't have merch from the superstars that weren't there, as I was planning on getting a Dolph Ziggler shirt, but I got to keep my $25.
FINAL TO THE TOP TALLY: 5 (CM Punk x2, because B and I both yelled it at the exact same time without planning it; see part about blackmail above)
We took the highway straight through on the way back and avoided the pathway to hell from earlier. CDubTDub kept us entertained with stories about how strippers have no souls, he really hates one of his brother's friends, and about how his other brother is the cheapest person on Earth.
All in all it was a blast and hopefully we're at Raw in a couple months in Nashville.
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