Whatever Happened to the Fighters of Tommorow?

Putting aside all Alan Moore-scripted Superman tales (for what it's worth, I enjoyed What Do You Get for the Man Who Has Everything much more), this is a list of fighters who have disappeared off the main stage of MMA. Some are set to make returns while others are still eluding the search parties.

1. Chris Leben - The bad boy turned "saint" has been absent from the octagon since his October 2008 loss to Michael Bisping. That fight was postponed three months after Leben got arrested stemming from a warrant out on him for a past DUI offense. He followed that up by testing positive for steroids after the Bisping fight, resulting in a nine month suspension. The guy just can't get ahead. Nevertheless, Leben is set to return the soonest of all our entrants, this weekend at UFC 102 against Jake Rosholt on the undercard. Fans of Bruce Buffer's pronunciation of Oahu, Hawaii take note.

2. Alistair Overeem - Possibly the fighter with the most rumored bouts in the past year, Overeem has yet to actually compete in MMA since a thrashing of the never ending tragedy that is Gary Goodridge on a smaller show in his home base of the Netherlands this past November. Following that, he briefly messed around in K-1, where he was undone by his immortal enemy, consistency, when he followed up an impressive win over then Heavyweight Champion Badr Hari on New Year's Eve with a loss to Remy Bonjasky in March. Over that period, everything under the sun has promised to include him with no result. Dana White talked of bringing him to the UFC. A rematch with Mirko "Cro-Cop" Filipovic seemingly loomed on the horizon after their no-contest previously in DREAM. The latest was when a hand injury forced him out of the biggest of them all, his first defense of the Strikeforce Heavyweight Title against solid contender Fabricio Werdum on Strikeforce's August 15th show. Then talk shifted of him fighting Fedor Emelianenko after his Strikeforce signing, assuming the Russian would get an immediate title shot. However, Strikeforce officials have been cautious about that occurring, wanting instead to try and hype that fight, a dangerous proposition in a sport as unpredictable as MMA. While he's had trouble stringing together victories, Overeem is one of the few very well rounded heavyweights and can make a compelling matchup against anyone.

3. Dustin Hazelett - Kid Jiu-Jitsu looked to be submitting towards the elite in the welterweight division when a devastating ACL tear put him on the shelf indefinitely prior to his UFC 96 contest with Ben Saunders. Expected to be out for more than a year, good news surfaced this week when he was announced as the opponent for the high caliber Karo Parisyan, himself coming back from a steroid suspension. Hopefully the injury has fully healed and Hazelett can bring his exciting ground game back to a stagnant crop of UFC welterweights.

4. Alexsander Emelianenko - While older brother Fedor has moved increasingly into the American market after the collapse of PRIDE, Alexsander has been stalled by various issues that have kept him fighting on minor shows mainly in Russia. He was expected to compete on the first Affliction show, but was denied a license by the California State Athletic Commission at the eleventh hour, attributed by him to a simple deadline mistake. In the aftermath, a prominent CSAC official stated that Emelianenko would not be allowed to fight anywhere in America, likely owing to something more than time conflicts. Affliction attempted to secure him for their second event, but once again he was denied a permit. Whether or not this is something that can be solved in the future is unknown, but Emelianenko hasn't made any move towards the Japanese promotions that would seem to be the next best place. Instead, he's slated to appear on another M-1 event in Korea this September against lackluster competition.

5. Goran Reljic - I haven't seen many more tantalizing debuts than Reljic's at UFC 84. He was the new and improved "Cro-Cop": a Croatian striker that had vicious kicks but with submission skills. His fight with Wilson Gouveia turned into one hell of an entertaining slugfest, with both fighters seemingly seconds from being finished before Reljic scored the TKO victory and picked up the "Fight of the Night" award. His second fight was scheduled for UFC 90 against Thales Leites, but a back injury in training forced him out. Little has surfaced about Reljic since then. A May report said he had undergone back surgery and had begun minor training, but nothing has come out since then, even though he is still apparently under contract with the UFC.

6. Roger Huerta - "El Matador" was riding a sixteen fight win streak heading into his August 2008 showdown with Kenny Florian. Coming off a resilient win over Clay Guida, this was Huerta's chance to prove he was a top contender. Unfortunately he was dominated by Florian and was expected to move back down into the sludge of the UFC's lightweight division. Instead, he's been inactive for almost exactly a year. Huerta caught Cung Le disease (who should be on this list now that I think about it) and said he wanted to move into acting, which has culminated in a role in the Tekken movie (oh yes). He was also critical of the policies of the UFC during media tours, which drew the predictable backlash from Dana White and led many to believe Huerta had been effectively blacklisted since he only had one fight left on his contract. However, in true Tito Ortiz style (I guess that doesn't really work now since he's returning), Huerta will at least fulfill his contract when he faces the surging Gray Maynard at Fight Night 19.

UFC 91

Here's some odds and ends thought about this past weekend's UFC card.

Jorge Gurgel vs Aaron Riley: Gurgel is quickly becoming one of the funniest fighters to watch, if only to hear Joe Rogan constantly lament his refusal to use his black belt jiu-jitsu. His fights usually aren't' boring, but when you keep losing to guys like Aaron Riley progress becomes unattainable. Trust me, between booing within seconds of no engagement and the ridiculous "USA" chants, being a fan favorite is probably the last thing I would care about.

Gabriel Gonzaga vs Josh Hendricks: Can you say outclassed? Another quick win against low competition. Yay heavyweight division.

Demian Maia vs Nate Quarry: Outclassed strikes again. At this point Maia is the shining light in the middleweight division held hostage by Anderson Silva. He's beaten the gatekeepers, now let's see him against the elite.

Dustin Hazelett vs Tamdan McCrory: Hazelett made a believer out of me with his once again impressive ground work. I thought he might have been somewhat over-hyped, especially with the knockout loss to Koscheck, but he completely neutralized McCrory and got another submission victory. Interested to see who they match him against next.

Kenny Florian vs Joe Stevenson: So maybe outclassed was a theme. I had Florian winning this but I didn't expect such a dominant performance. He deserves the title shot.

Randy Couture vs Brock Lesnar: Going in, I had no idea what would happen in the supposed "Biggest Fight in UFC History." Couture worked his usual clinch-boxing style to decent results while it lasted, but Lesnar's incredible power ended it with one punch. I thought if Lesnar couldn't finish Herring he couldn't put Couture away. I'm interested to see if he'll be the first to KO Nogueira, assuming Nogueira wins against Mir, which I think he will. A Lesnar/Mir rematch might have a decent storyline, but you couldn't get me to care.

Hellboy: Wake the Devil

This is the second collected volume in the Hellboy series, even though a footnote tells me chronologically it falls after another story that is in the third book that contains shorter tales. Nevertheless, it's still early on in the shown career of "The World's Greatest Paranormal Investigator" and some of those crazy Russians and Germans show up for another go round. John Byrne, who scripted the first volume, Seed of Destruction, is absent this time, setting up Mignola on words and pictures. And he does a fine job. His dialogue is better than Byrne's, but his sequencing of events is a little shaky. There's quite a lot going on in Wake the Devil, and some of it has a lot less impact than maybe was intended. In particular, Mignola seems to have trouble doing anything with the supporting cast of the BPRD. Abe Sapien and Liz Sherman are joined by a couple of dead men walking. One of them sports and eye patch, and he blemishes the mystique of said accessory by dying. It's a sure thing that Nick Fury, Snake Plissken and Molotov Cocktease are disgusted beyond belief. But anyway, they basically get into trouble that doesn't concern anything in the greater story nor do those events get developed. It's a weak spot that fortunately doesn't blemish a strong overall work. The back story of Rasputin and some of the Nazis he worked with is expanded and tied into Mignola's version of folklore like Dracula and the Baba Yaga. It all comes together in an explosive finale that sees Hellboy more informed of his true purpose. And let's not forget the artwork. At this point Mignola had refined his style enough to where he was completely unique. While his stories do have some Jack Kirby in them, it's in his drawings that you can clearly see the King's influence. The blocky figures and black dots are joined by his excellent use of black space and shadow, able to create suspense and set an eerie mood. It's perfect for the stories he's telling of Victorian castles, monsters in dark depths and pulp heroes and villains. Overall, Wake the Devil is another impressive foray into the Hellboy universe, and I can't wait to dive in further.

Reflecting on UFC 86...

...where I tell you things you already know. Warning: my recollections are a bit hazy on some of this, memory is not my greatest asset.

Tyson Griffin vs Marcus Aurelio: Griffin delivered his signature performance, a solid showing without being able to finish the the durable Aurelio. He shouldn't worry about not getting a knockout or submission, he's exciting enough. Aurelio looked pretty rough, and might be in the twilight of his career at 34. That win over Gomi is fading out faster than ever.

Chris Lytle vs Josh Koscheck: Mr. Kos, the guy everyone loves to hate, went back to the wrestling well and prevented Lytle from doing anything in addition to opening a huge cut that had both fighters and the octagon covered in blood. Despite a recent KO of Dustin Hazelett, Koscheck probably stood little chance of stopping Lytle, so smart plan equals boring fight.

Joe Stevenson vs Gleison Tibau: Nice guillotine in the second is all I remember. Stevenson is the choke king of the UFC.

Patrick Cote vs Ricardo Almeida: This turned monotonous after the first round, which had Almeida looking dominant on the ground as expected. After that he couldn't get a takedown, and Cote kept him at bay with just enough aggression to get the split decision. Neither of these guys looked like anything more than cannon fodder for Anderson Silva, should he stay and defend at middleweight. Let's hope Yushin Okami gets in there first.

Forrest Griffin vs Quinton Jackson: Nothing like a good fight ending with some controversy.

Lambo's Armchair Scorecard

Round 1: Jackson 10-9. The uppercut that almost finished it give this one to Rampage.

Round 2: Griffin 10-8. Here's a good example of why the judging system needs clarification. The leg kick seriously hurt Jackson, enough to where he basically got laid on the entire round and did nothing but somewhat defend himself. Griffin certainly was in complete control the whole time but did very little damage. Since it was effectively domination for close to five minutes, I think 10-8 is appropriate. I'm sure many other people disagree, and I wish there was more of a consensus on these things, even though I'm no judge. I will say, out of the all the fights I've seen, this was the only one where I instantly thought it would be 10-8.

Round 3: Jackson 10-9. Now here's where a personal belief comes in. Maybe this comes from me previously being a boxing fan, but I think that if there is a real close round the champ gets it. The challenger has got to get in there and show he is definitively better. I don't think Griffin showed that, so I score it for Jackson. Griffin was landing more, but Jackson was landing harder. Tough to call.

Round 4: Jackson 10-9. Another close round. Griffin certainly scores for a good triangle attempt, but Jackson had him defending the rest of the time, even though he didn't do that much damage. While not as close as the third round, I return to my champ philosophy again and go with Jackson.

Round 5: Griffin 10-9. I think this was clearly Forrest's round. He finished strong and threw aggressively as he had been while Jackson didn't do enough to really make up for it.

My final score is 47-47, the good ol' draw.

Alas, that's not how it turned out. Griffin got the unanimous decision and the light heavyweight belt, along with a chorus of boos from the crowd, which took me by surprise. I figured he would be who the majority were rooting for? I also don't get the hate for Griffin, who I see as a fighter who uses his drive and tenacity to make up for the skills and experience he may lack. I was pulling for Rampage, but the fight was close and decisions can go every which way, so I don't think he was robbed. Interesting to see if there will be an immediate rematch. I kind of doubt it, as there are so many interesting matchups at 205 that possibly putting Rampage in an eliminator against someone else while having Griffin defend once might set up the rematch (if things worked out) more effectively. But that's just my opinion, and I'm as much of a match maker as I am a judge.

Other notes: If not for the great main event, Jorge Gurgel vs Cole Miller would've been fight of the night. While neither are looking like title contenders at this point, they matched up well, putting on a standup show, with Gurgel getting the better of the exchanges, until he got sloppy late and got caught in a triangle. He held on for quite some time, but tapped with only eighteen seconds left in the third round. Good fight and great finish by Miller. Also, Gabriel Gonzaga got back on track with a first round submission over the outclassed Justin McCully. Gonzaga is one of the few legitimate contenders in the UFC's heavyweight crop, but they're running out of guys to match him against. Possibly Cheick Kongo if he wins next month?

Dapple

That post about Ron Paul sucked so I deleted it, and the Iron Fist review I wrote below is bad, but I left it up because some of the other things are okay. Also deleted a six paragraph draft I had brewing about cross promotion in MMA. I sure do have high standards for my one reader (hey Chris!). And the second part of this post is going to be close to unreadable, so read at your own peril.

But up first, I'm going to complain about stuff that doesn't make sense, at least to me. Several years ago I saw two articles in the local paper that completely contradicted each other and left me wondering what the hell is happening. First article says the overwhelming majority of people they surveyed don't support gay marriage. Then, right next to that, there's an article that says the overwhelming majority of people they surveyed dont' want to put a ban on gay marriage. Now I'm sure different groups of people were surveyed and maybe even in different areas but what a great choice of articles to place together. WE DON'T LIKE THAT CRAP BUT WE DON'T HATE IT ENOUGH TO STOP IT FOR GOOD...sorry gay people, have fun in eternal limbo or move to Canada, cause nothing changed. Or get to California. Isn't it great when the states get a hair up their ass and do whatever they want sometimes? And then it all gets overturned a month later, but still, fun while it lasted. Always seems to happen in the golden state, which makes it great when you're at the supermarket looking for the right brand of frozen orange juice and you hear discussion like, "CALIFORNYA has done nothing but destroy AMERICAN values and provide a breeding ground for sinners. Did you see where Jesus killed more Chinese cause they don't like him?" I bring up gay marriage cause there's this parallel that only I can see with how people view "da govament". When things are going great everybody wants the government to eat shit and not exist. But then when something goes wrong we come running! "Gas is $87 dollars a gallon, why doesn't the government do something for once and lower the gas price and help everybody by reaming the oil companies." Hey kids, good news, gas is down to $2 a gallon, but we think we're gonna look into some environmental regulations the oil companies might've broken that could result in fines. "NOW WAIT A MINUTE, YOU AIN'T GOT NO RIGHT TO TELL THEM HONEST, HARD WORKING ENTREPENEWERS WHAT THEY CAN'T DO. ANY MONEY THEY MAKE SHOULD BE THEIRS, AND NOT GO TO SOME WELFARE CHECK TO BUY DOPE WITH!" Wow, this got unreadable fast, but it was fun.

Now here's a comic series that I don't like for reasons I probably can't explain well and may not prove to be valid. And by series I mean issues one and two of Ultimates 2, because I couldn't force myself through any more. It's superheroes, but they're in the real world!

HOLY SHIT, THE REAL WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111112222222233333444445555555666666666777777

But wait mom, that doesn't really make sense does it? I mean, there aren't super soldiers or Norse gods running around outside. And guess what, ol' Johnny's right, there aren't! Don't tell Mark Millar though, because his whole foundation of life will crumble. In this real world, all the main characters are arrogant douchebags who talk a bunch, which makes drying paint look fascinating. Chief among them is Stalwart Steve Rogers, who is such a dumb prick in here it makes me want to run anywhere that has the Brubaker series and just masturbate fervently to its' contents. "People swearing is bad, all girls dress like whores, oh look, stereotypical thug black whippersnappers made a comment at me so this effectively placed cutaway shot will imply that I gave em' a whoopin cause I is awesome and they is dumz, lawlz." They've should've kept this asshole on ice. "Hey Thor, you have different opinion like Nazis and hang out in your opium rave den, so I will respond with punch." Oh but he's stopped by some obvious hipster protester Green Peace asshat who starts a beer assault on him...well sure. And I thought we couldn't get much lower than this A doesn't stand for suck. Here comes Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, on vacation floating through Italy. Then they get a phone call so they can show off their super snobbery, and imply that they like Europe, where everyone is a liberal cancer and should be thankful they exist because of Uncle Sam, but the guy that writes this is Scottish. Oh and Oprah is mentioned, and Tony Stark is on Larry King, because they're REAL PEOPLE IN THE REAL WORLD THAT THIS TAKES PLACE IN STARBUCKS. So to recap: superheroes are real, Captain America is written as a symbol of American elitism and arrogance and Pietro and Wanda are even bigger dipshits than the other people, cause they are all arty and hang out in Venice or something. So see, you can't single anyone out because they're all unrelatable AND unlikeable. Oh and Cap is teh narrowminded cause he thinks gods are dumb and he is a sucker cause he goes to church WHAT THE FUCK MARK MILLAR?

Good thing I only paid ten dollars for all thirteen issues, here I come ebay!

Comics Come Forward

DC Universe #0 (or whatever the official title is): Prior to this I had practically given up on DC, but Final Crisis has me excited because I long ago drank the Morrison kool-aid and now hang on the man's every word (plus JG Jones on art and not someone like Howard Porter is cause for celebration). So in turn, I was ready for this to set the stage and hopefully fill me in on anything I needed to know. Instead I see snapshots of future books, some of which are related to Final Crisis and some that aren't. We get a little recap of past Crisis action and then it's on to the first preview, a Superman book. Big splash page and then stuff I don't understand. I don't have the comic here to give it a second look, so I'm assuming this ties into current Superman stories or DC universe continuity? Well, Geoff Johns and George Perez can do this one without me. Not a great start. Next up it's Batman, a book I'm still behind on. Batman and the Joker talk...and that's it. Morrison throws in plenty of symbolism, but as the tease for the actual story it doesn't work. Someone is after Batman...WOWZA KIDS! After this I just flipped through Frank Miller's Wonder Woman, a Green Lantern piece I didn't even want to attempt, something with the Spectre and then we get to the last story, the actual Final Crisis to-do. And it's easily the best thing in here because stuff is shown happening. We get Libra grouping villains up to worship what looks like Darkseid, and then a little Barry Allen bit at the end, all positioned around the scene of a figure falling through realities. It gets the job done. But overall, this wasn't the greatest idea of all time from DC, or maybe it would be better to say what the material they included wasn't the greatest. Also, what is up with the art? No one is credited in their story, which makes sense given that they're only three pages, but I have no idea who drew some of this. JG Jones is listed but it's not him on the last story or, to my eyes, anywhere else. I have no idea what Carlos Pacheco did either. In the end, this is the kind of thing DC seems to always be able to produce: something that irritates me. I'm still looking forward to Final Crisis, no thanks to this garbage.


Immortal Iron Fist #14: Kind of a disappointment. After the previous issue that contained people talking and not punching each other, we get the big explosive finale where the creators make you reflect that this book's run almost got you pregnant, sex be damned! Alas, it goes out not with a supernova, but with a firecracker. First off, David Aja is nowhere to be found. It seems like after about the tenth issue he just disappeared. Not that the art in his stead is terrible, but Aja had been doing some really nice work. Well anyway, all the subplots have to be resolved, and since way too many had been put in motion, we have to spend quite some time dealing with them. Which wouldn't be a problem, except most of these don't resolve around people getting kicked in the face, which was something I could usually count on from this book (issue #13 must have started a bad trend). It just takes all the things that should be awesome, like Danny Rand going DBZ on a bullet train and the Heroes for Hire destroying people, and takes all the energy out of them. And then it's over, with a small tidbit about what could be ahead in future stories, sans Fraction and Brubaker. But maybe it's a more fitting ending than I think. The book was always somewhat inconsistent, a little more as it went on. But it always had crazy parts that made me smile. And while this has been a fairly negative review, I'd by lying if the Immortal Weapons each getting their one panel with their ridiculously named attacks didn't have me grinning. Go Bride of Nine Spiders, go.


All-Star Superman #10: Here we go. I'll be honest, issue #9 had me nervous. It didn't really do much for the overall story, even though it kept to the overall established themes (plus the Steve Lombard sequence made my life). But Morrison pulls out all the stops here and presents what I'd argue is the best issue of the series yet. Superman goes about getting everything in order as he gets closer to death, which just leads to so many great moments, like applying the cure for cancer, cloning his DNA and finally finding a place for Kandor. Then there's the panel where he saves the goth girl, which would probably be ridiculed to the rafters if it had happened anywhere else, but in this book, it's just pure gold, no cheese at all. And then we get the universe creation and it's just ALL SO AWESOME! Whoo, I got worked up there. Oh and it's drawn by Frank Quitely, who's...well...the greatest superhero artist of his generation (if not all time). There, I said it!

UFC 83

Mark Bocek vs Mac Danzig: Nothing wrong with this one, as Bocek showed off his wrestling but couldn't produce much offense and eventually just took too much punishment. Danzig sure did take his time finishing it, but I suppose there's nothing wrong with being careful. He's a personal favorite of mine, stemming from his time on Ultimate Fighter where he stood out from the usual bushido lunatics.

Michael Bisping vs Charles McCarthy: All I remember about this is that McCarthy didn't do much and then decided to stand and take rapid fire punishment until he couldn't come out for the second round. I still don't think Bisping is up there with the elite, but dropping down to middleweight could change that. This was certainly a better performance than his last two fights, albeit against lesser competition.

Nate Quarry vs Kalib Starnes: Well what can I say that hasn't been said already? Starnes claims he broke his foot, which I find hard to believe because he moved on it for close to fifteen minutes after the supposed break. While I usually don't care for the actions Quarry performed near the end, I can't bring myself to really exclaim any disgust. What a horrible fight, and now Starnes is gone from the UFC.

Rich Franklin vs Travis Lutter: I can't really be objective here, because I dislike Lutter, and him coming out to Nickleback only solidified my feelings. When people say things like, "I was winning that fight the whole way until I lost", I really don't know what to say. Fortunately, Franklin pulled an awesome escape from an armbar and then just pummeled Lutter, who looked like he seriously gassed. Franklin is in a bad spot in the division, because he can't fight Silva again but he's clearly the most deserving of a title shot.

Georges St. Pierre vs Matt Serra: Total domination is pretty close. Serra had nothing in this fight. He got taken down at will and couldn't work anything on the ground, and his stand-up which won him the first fight was nowhere to be found. GSP is obviously now the best in the world at 170 and top five pound for pound. I could see an Anderson Silva-like period coming up, where he completely reigns over the division.

In other MMA news, Chuck Liddell is off UFC 85, which must contain the most cursed main event ever. With Mauricio Rua and Liddell now injured, Rashad Evans will get a new opponent. Too bad every other top light heavyweight is slated to fight in the coming months. The card didn't look too good to begin with and this only worsened matters.